Demanding job

[FayKorgasm]

Not a TAAT but inspired by years of threads. Frequently I read threads on here by women posters who have husbands or partners who do the very bare minimum of child rearing. One of the reasons given is the all inclusive Demanding Job. Extra points for Long Hours in aforementioned Demanding Job.
It really gives me the rage. Lots of women work in Demanding Jobs and yet come home and just bloody get on with it but men are excused the daily drudge because of it.

"no, no one ever helped me, why should I do anything, it's always for women or students these days."

That's depressing, how little people recognise that society has helped them a lot already simply by virtue of an accident of birth (usually something said by white, straight men). I always think of this which someone posted on here and I think is great.

But men do participate in the school life too. Usually as governors.
What we have us a system where women organise how to raise money in a way that is more likely to appeal to women (eg cake stall).
There are plenty more if other ways to do so. Eg at our school fete you have a stall with some football goal where children can have a go at beating the goal. We also have a 'send the sponge to the face of the person' that us again maned by men mainly (incl our male teacher and a male TA to the delight of the children).
The issue isn't just about 'why aren't men participating? That must be because it's a pain and they can get away with it'. It's also a question of why men aren't encouraged and taken into account when setting up those events.
The answer is both because it's usually women who do the urbanisation and because it has an ways been done like this (change us hard to handle for everyone, men it women)

It's not just schools that are reliant on women's unpaid time and labour to keep society going. The whole of our society is underpinned by it, not just in the home, but in the wider community as well. Organisations such as the WRVS, the WI, Friends of various hospitals etc. are generally run by women and the average volunteer in this country is a middle aged female. Many charities have about 70-80% of volunteers being female and in line with what Hermione is saying about gender norms, the ones where there is a higher percentage of men, are those which require volunteer drivers.

agree that a lot of 'school based' activities require 'mums' to go along to help out. Plenty of women do, which can end up alienating the few men who might want to do it too. There was a school that tried to encourage men to go along by tagging it a 'dad's day' and got a huge backlash... they can't win!!

Oh bullshit women are alienating men to do stuff around school. Men could get into that type of stuff if they wanted to. They have no problems when it's something they do want to do (like school governors - the example given above). It's just when the rewards and status aren't really there that they cry "but women don't let us".

It smack's of saying to women our oppression is our own fault.

Men will do things for school, but often not off their own bat - a colleague of mine manned a stall at the school fete - because his wife was on on the organising committee. He wouldn't have volunteered by himself. Also, mostly going by work people, those who are likely to get involved - men or women - it's the same names every time. Some people just don't have time, but some are just selfish gits.

I think schools are far more reluctant to ask dads to help out than mums, as dads have demanding jobs and are busy and important and this doesn't help with the wifework often falling to the mother.

I find it interesting that when my DCs are injured/sick/forgotten PE kit, it is always me who gets the phone call from school. We have childcare set out to deal with these situations, school has the number as priority 1 on the phone call list we fill in.

I always get the phone call first, and have a huffy school secretary on the line if I either don't get the message, or say that I will arrange for the DCs to be collected by someone other than me. DH has never been phoned by the school.

Men could get into that type of stuff if they wanted to. They have no problems when it's something they do want to do (like school governors - the example given above).

Indeed. They manage to coach sports and that kind of thing - if they have any interest they can manage to do it just fine despite the impossible barriers erected by women.

What are these jobs poster are doing that are so demanding.. Me and Mrs Bough and I both have a fitbit, she works in the NHS frontline services, I do less hrs, burn twice as many calories and the work is complex and bespoke, in fact there isn't a learning course for what I do, just yrs and yrs of experience.. Initially this was a test to see who had the most "Demanding" job, anyway she lost..

Your not at the bloody coal face organising playdates, shopping, cooking meals and changing nappies, or pushing a vac or unloading a dish washer.. And why do some parents enrol there little brats in numerous activities and then complain when they are fed up of ferrying them around, the solution is simple , don't do it..
If you resent your partner over a chair or because you had to bake some bloody buns, then I'm sorry you need a reality check...

Frankbough do you actually understand what a parent does?