Hot Girls Wanted. Documentary on Teens in Porn.

[INickedAName]

Hot Girls Wanted.

This 2015 Sundance Film Festival breakout documentary from producer Rashida Jones spotlights the “amateur” porn industry and the women it exploits

I watched this documentary yesterday, and wondered what others thought of it. ( it's grim viewing and not work friendly)

I found it alarming. The thought that 40% of online porn features abuse and that the number one search term for porn is "teen" worries me. One if the girls is choked on a penis and large plastic penis until her eyes are bloodshot and she vomits, she's then told to eat the vomit with her face pushed in it. How can anyone be aroused by that? It's frightening.

Their descriptions of their experiences are saddening. I'll copy my posts from the pub, but I just wondered what others who watched the documentary feel about it, and how teenage girls in porn are treat.

"TBR" up that's the kind of influence that worries me, than it will be seen as normal for a woman to cry during sex, that that's what sex "is".

mide I plan to teach dd the same, shes 10 at the moment, but the power of peer pressure scares me, I remember I thought my Mum knew nothing and my friends knew everything, and I know some of her class mates have watched abusive porn already, (the belle Knox facial abuse scene) they've not been told it's abusive, just that it's wrong to watch it at their age.

So while I know I tell my dd about consent and respect, I'm actually scared it won't be enough. I worry that the things in the documentary won't even be seen as abuse or something to complain about, like how Ched Evans doesn't think he raped that girl, type thing.

Many of the girls in the documentary came from families who taught them the same, they are getting different messages from elsewhere. I know they are "consenting adults", but the whole thing unnerved me.

I know the feeling INickedaname. It is very worrying. Like I said maybe I'm being naive but if everyone taught there kids about sex( including porn not being a real representation) and relationships then peer pressure wouldn't be a thing.

I know I sound like my world is all rainbows and unicorns

I like the sound of your world, I want to come live there :)

I hope my DD turns out to be gay.

He was actually 9 when he saw it. I used to be goodish friends with his Mum and from the age of 7 he has been accessing sexual content. He runs up huge phone bills on his mobile from phoning babe station type channels and numbers. I've told the school, dd came home asking "why do girls have smelly pussies?" After hearing some boys talk about a vid they have seen.

His mum is embarassed about it but laughs it off, which makes me mad, she blames the phone company as they should block google and whatever from showing porn on a device that a child is using. He still has his ipad, phone, laptop and pc unsupervised and he still accesses this stuff. He shows classmates this stuff. He talks about it in the playground. His mum thinks removing them will do nothing as he'll still find a way to view it, and if the girls didn't do it, it wouldn't exists, and his dad thinks it's a thing all boys do. His dad gave me one of his old phones when mine was broke, which is a nice thing to do I know, and while he deleted pics and contacts, his internet history was intact and it was grim. I'm not suprised he thinks it's a thing boys do.

I'm gonna sound cruel here, but I stepped back when the mum tried to force dd to being friends with him, to help his behaviour, to learn to be good from dd. Dd doesn't like him, and doesn't want him in her home, in her bedroom, and when she would bring him to "play" uninvited and try sending them upstairs, his Mum didn't like him being told "no". There was a bit of hassle at school with him punching dd a few times, his mam had told him dd is "mean" for not playing with him, and apparently you punch mean people.

If this is how he reacts to being told "no" at 9, how will he react in later teens? I teach dd to be kind, but I'll support her gut in wanting to stay the hell away from this boy. I don't talk about him, and the things his mum has said, dd doesn't like him based on how he speaks and hits her when she won't play or let him win etc.

School were great and he has left her alone since. Dd is confident in what she wants and feels able to say no when she is uncomfortable. I just hope that stays with her.

God that's shocking. Your dd sounds very wise.

That kind of proves me point ( and also destroys my Little utopia to) that if all parents took responsibility to educate there kids in "decent" sexual and relationship ideas then things like that wouldn't happen.

What kind of mother is she? And who gives a child that kind of phone and allows unlimited access. That is just appalling parenting.

What is strange according to a report from Sandvine Netflix now accounts for more traffic than porn. Details of the report are here from an American business website. It may be they are only talking America but it measures the results in downstream bandwidth traffic rather than number of hits per site. So a lot of people watching 2 hour documentaties in HD would have a big effect.

Sausage do you mean someone watching a movie in HD on Netflix will create more bandwidth data than a five minute vid on a porn site, so it looks like Netflix has more traffic?
Whereas click for click, for the one click on a Netflix movie, there's probably a lot clicks on smaller vid files on a born site? I've just had to take pain meds and I'm woozy so just wanted to check I was reading right.

Most dds class have smart phones, with most also having unsupervised access. It's shocking how many parents don't know how to set up parental controls, there's no excuse when a quick google will tell anyone how. Whenever I get asked to set up a device for a child, or sort some problem out with one I ask if I should switch them on and people are often surprised that such a feature exists.

Many have twitter and face book accounts, the documentary said that twitter doesn't moderate graphic content, and the age for twitter account is 13, which makes no sense. If a site is going to allow explicit content, they need to up the minimum age. I mean I know young people will still create accounts, but as it stands, it looks like twitter condone children accessing graphic content and are giving them a helping hand.

I know this wouldn't be a popular view, but why can't such devices have an "opt in" for porn content. I know a few I've bought in the past were already blocked, you had to call the provider to remove the block, and I thought it would still be the case now but it appears not. It wouldn't stop adults who want to view it from viewing it, but will make an extra step in stopping children accessing it.

Monitoring search history would be a good indication it's a child, "Minecraft, Minecraft, Minecraft, porn, Minecraft" isn't the typical search history of a grown adult, I wonder if some kind of flag to block it until an adult contacted would work? Like suspicious activity on credit cards. Saying that, if it's a family or shared PC, that could be typical search history if a child is on it most. I think the dad's having a quick watch wouldn't be happy if they got flagged up. There's probably a load of privacy issues which wouldn't make it workable. Just thinking out loud.

dear god how does that mother still have her child, genuine question?

INickedaName - you do have to opt in for "adult content" on some providers. Virgin definitely does this both for home internet and smartphones, you can only opt in if you're the bill payer too.

Of course, in the case of your story, I imagine the Dad would opt in leaving access free to the son anyway...

They are a complex family, and after reading threads on here, there's many red flags that point towards emotional abuse, from the adults to ds, and from dh and ds to mum more so. The boy isn't biologically hers, the son doesn't know that, but it plays a big part in the dynamics, if she tries to uphold any discipline, dad will undermine her and I thinks she has become so worn down that she agrees to both their demands for an easy life. The dh has no respect for her, (or women in general), plays all the family off against her, and it's not difficult to see where the son gets his attitude from.

He's in trouble several times a term, and now when I think about, it's always girls he is punching, and she always defends him, says it's the girls fault for not letting him do something or another. There's been talk of exclusion but he's behaved since Easter. I feel bad that I've distanced her as a friend, as she does have a hard life and needs support, but if she's going to push her son onto dd and not accept that she doesn't want to be his friend then I didn't have much other choice.

The actual porn scenes made me panic, it was like watching violent rape scenes. Knowing that the girls agreed to be there and were paid didn't make me feel any better about it. It's terrible that they felt they had to do that to stay in the industry. It worries me that Belle Knox was one of them, because she's one of the 'acceptable' faces of porn right now. How many girls will psych themselves up by thinking 'she coped, I'll be able to cope too'? It was also frightening that as a paid for site there were so many views. That many men get off on watching women sexually brutalized?

One of the women said she felt good knowing that sickos would be watching her instead of going out and actually raping someone, but isn't it the case that this kind of thing desensitizes viewers? It could actually create sexual abusers.

oh dear me nicked how come he doesn't know newt is it because bio mother anandoned him or that hes a by product of infidelity on the dads part?

*know she is a stepmum

The parents split up before he was born, and my friend met the Dad when the boy was a few weeks old. He had full custody and encouraged her to be his Mum. My friend can't have children so she jumped at the chance.

The biological Mum and Dad, I have not heard a good word about the biological Mum, but they had three children together, two girls and a boy, he didn't want/ask for contact or custody of the girls, they have zero contact with the girls and no child support is paid for them, the bio mum pays regular child support and sends birthday cards and regular letters etc which are burnt straight away. I only know one side though (and he's not going to make himself out to be a twat)

gatorade I had the panic too. I vomited. Re watched with Dh last night and he asked me turn it off when as he felt sick.

I don't know about porn creating abusers - the same as I don't know about video games creating violence. I'm inclined to think that the difference between watching and doing is quite big and it's only going to be people who had that inclination anyway who would be affected. And for that matter I'm not at all convinced that someone who wants to rape is going to be satisfied by watching it on a computer.

However, and I've posted this before, but I read it somewhere and think it's a really good point. With video games, the content that people worry about - the killing/robbing/violence stuff. We don't do that, most of us, in real life. But if we did, and we'd played a lot of games, isn't it quite likely that the way we did it would be informed by the games? Even silly things - the way we hold a gun. The strategies we'd adopt. Sort of like the classic thing policemen say, where you can tell kids who've learned about guns in the movies as they hold them on the side, whereas someone who's actually a trained or experienced shooter never would.

Anyway so I think it's perfectly reasonable to say that even if porn doesn't create criminals, it surely must affect the way people have sex, if that's the majority of the sex they see. And of course the studies about what girls are being expected to do, and even hospital statistics, are bearing that out. If you learn about sex from porn, of course you're going to think that porn is what sex is meant to be. And I think that when you're dealing with something that presents women badly almost all of the time, and is actually abusive - what, 40% of the time. That absolutely has to have an effect.

The 2011 report by Ofcom on the possible effect on minors (PDF HERE) is interesting as it draws from both the 2005 report from Dr Ellen Helsper and 2010 report from Dr Guy Cumberbatch. I would suggest if people are worried about porn and young people this would be the best to read as it was commissioned by the media watchdog. At least people are researching but I think we need more regular studies.

you do have to opt in for "adult content" on some providers.

Would not have helped us. We never had any internet content blocks on our computers, by choice, we just always talked honestly about the problematic things they came across when they were little. But in the end the material came to my daughter (age 10) sent via email from her school girlfriends. In fact her friends asked her to create email specifically so they could send her the material. Age 9-11 seems to be the 'lets explore sex and gore' stage. She ended up giving up all email contact with friends until later in high school.

Another way this content sneaks through, which I think is underestimated, is adverts in free apps.

There have been several times where the ads have featured naked women doing various things to themselves, totally inappropriate in games aimed at children and young teens. Dd saw one of these adds while watching me play flappy bird over my shoulder. It's not the game developers fault but the add networks they use, and then they say it's not their fault but the people who provide them their ads, and android seems to have a bigger problem with it ime.
There are two great apps on ios, weblock (for use with wifi) and Adblock (use with 3G) that blocks these in game ads. I prefer to pay for games and apps where I can as they mostly don't have ads in, if there's an option to pay to remove ads I do. But so many only allow their children to install free apps, and don't check them regularly.
I think mumsnet had a similar issue not too long ago, with adverts for porn stuff showing?

"Age 9-11 seems to be the 'lets explore sex and gore' stage."

Well this is the thing, of course it is! I mean, I did it! I remember finding a copy of 'the joy of sex' in my mum's bottom drawer and being the most popular kid in the neighbourhood for about a week. I think it's perfectly natural. But of course the scary part is that it's not 'the joy of sex' anymore, it's... well.

Thats great news INickedAName! When a friend or acquaintance with a net connection on their phone shows them the neat stuff at school you want to block at home you will be in the bonus position of believing nothing was ever seen at all.

Eh?

When a friend or acquaintance with a net connection on their phone shows them the neat stuff at school you want to block at home you will be in the bonus position of believing nothing was ever seen at all

Are you saying I'm under some illusions my dd won't see it? I've already said that she has seen things she shouldn't, I was agreeing with you, that the blockers don't block everything, and was just saying that ads in free games are something not many people consider when handing their kids devices.

If dd had been shown the belle Knox video (as a boy in class had shown it to classmates, outside of school) I can promise you I won't be in the "bonus position of believing nothing was seen" I'd be playing merry hell. And I hope that by talking to her enough she won't see these kind of videos as "neat stuff" either.

shaska I found a like of mags under mams bed when I was about 10. I'd been sent to get a photo album. I knocked the pile over which is how I saw them, I grabbed one and went downstairs, furious. I was waving this magazine around, asking why my brother and I had to chuck our magazines out because they were "clutter", why do they have a massive pile of similar mags cluttering up under their bed, the word hypocrite was used a lot, my Mam had to shove me out of the room :)

She wasn't mad though, and explained later that sex is enjoyable etc, I think it might be the first time I learnt that it's not just for making babies. I was also allowed to keep back issues of Top Of The Pops. A lot of of the porn now doesn't show two people enjoying it. That's what worries me.