That study about men expecting women to physically move out the way...

[WorkingBling]

... I thought it was an American thing. "In England, if nothing else, men have that naturally English chivalry thing going on" I thought.

Hahaha. I am 36 weeks pregnant. Bad back. Belly the size of a small whale. My ability to make quick direction changes is completely gone and frankly, even if I could turn sideways in an effort to make myself smaller, it would be a complete waste of time as clearly I'd actually double the space I take up.

And do you know what? I get bashed by a man at least twice a day on my way into and out of the City - today I had three bashes from grown men and one from a teenager where, even though the father was giving his three children a hard time for being a bit boisterous, he saw the teenager smack into me but said nothing about that to either one of us.

I've also had a few men staring me down as they approach, making it clear they expect me to move out of the way quickly. And when they do bash me, I don't even get that instinctive English apology where everyone says sorry.

The weirdest thing is that I bet some of these men would let me go first through a door or possibly give me a seat on the tube. But when walking on the pavement, I am expected to move. And move fast.

I can't believe I had never noticed it before.

Maybe it's an animal thing - you're pregnant so no longer 'attractive' or available to them so you're not as important

Why does it 'have' to be a gender thing? I was shopping in m&s the other day and an aisle was narrow because staff had a huge trolley out for stacking shelves. A woman was approaching and so I politely gestured for her to come through first. To my surprise a rude woman couldn't wait so barged past me and prevented the other woman from coming through. How f'ing rude .

Although she was an obnoxious shit I don't think it is down to gender. Some people are just crap, plain and simple.

That was one instance though. The men being entitled thing isn't.

I think it is more an age thing than sex. I see a great number of both sexes walking along the street, glued to their phones expecting everyone else to move out of their way. And don't even get me started on friends with buggies side by side expecting everyone to empty into the road as they walk abreast of each other. Plenty of both sexes with entitled arses out there tend to be young people who are the cause in the suburbs.

I have started experimenting with this too..it's fascinating. Most recently I was carrying small baby to the changing room in a large shopping centre and a crush of teen boys were coming towards me. I really had to remind myself and hold my nerve with the baby and at the last minute had to add an 'excuse me!' They looked shocked.
Teen girls always move.

I just think its plain ignorance on most peoples part whether male or female.
I do it myself and my family always pull me up on it and apologise for me.
i don't judge distances very well as i'm dyspraxic.
I am terrifying with a shopping trolley and don't see quickly enough that I need to get out of the way.
There could be numerous reasons why this happens and don't think this is something we can pin on men tbh.

Over the last three years I've had some extended stays in a certain London borough and I noticed this happening all the time. If I was walking along with my OH, other men would automatically do that city dodgems where they step round each other and the pace wouldn't slow.
Me though, I was nearly always expected to step out of the way. OH would end up yards ahead of me and sometimes out of sight.
Eventually I got so tired of it I'd stand my ground, so I had numerous stand offs where I'd refuse to step out the way. No eye contact, I'd stand there until they moved. Of course OH would be miles away by then.

All in the interests of social experimentation.

Once when I was very heavily pregnant, I was leaving a shop and opened the door for myself and a man walked through it without saying a word. I pulled him up on it straight away and the look of absolute shock on his face when I said 'well, after you!' Was priceless. Twat.

I have just spent 4 days in London experiencing this. I am a 6 foot tall man. Everybody did it to everybody else, and I was on the receiving end of both men and women's ignorant behaviour. What an ignorant bunch of shites Londoners are.

Every single one!

That's meant ironically BTW

Well, perhaps I was being unfair. Let's say 99 per cent. Honestly, the levels of ignorance, entitlement and 'I'm in more of a hurry than you' was spectacular.

A tall friend of mine, who wears baggy, gender-neutral clothes (jeans, checked shirts, that kind of thing), cut her hair very short when she was in her mid-thirties. It took her a few days to realise why all of a sudden walking down the street had become very odd in a way she couldn't put her finger on. Then she worked it out - people were reading her as male, and swerving out of her way without anybody consciously doing this.

And this is both in [northern city] where she lives, and in London, where she was visiting me a few days after her haircut.

I think it might be a London/ big city thing; when people feel they are likely to bump into their neighbour or Mum's friend at any moment they are more mindful of each other. I was incensed spending a day out in touristy areas when heavily pregnant and feeling so invaded; at the time I taught in a very big and notoriously boisterous school- there was a 'forcefield of care' around me, just because everyone knew 'Miss was pregnant'.
A man pushed past me the other day sucking his teeth and I squared up to him- 'NO you are pushing past me, not the other way round so don't suck your teeth at me!' It was a calculated risk though, busy street, broad daylight and he had children with him.

This is fascinating. And I have no doubt in my mind it's a gender issue.

I've never tried it, but now I'm pregnant and particularly ungainly I may have to.

And I have no doubt in my mind it's a gender issue.

Does your theory account for the large number of non-gendered experiences too? Or do we discount those? Or do we say that some times it is, and some times it isn't?

Well I live in London and I don't really notice it that much. Must be used to it or something.
At least as far as walking down the street is concerned.
Now stairs - that's another matter. Even if there's an up and a down side to the stairs there's always some eejit who wants to go up or down the wrong way causing chaos and dismay.
I have OA in both knees. Going down is more difficult than up (uses more muscles), so I go down slightly sideways and holding on to the rail. Which makes it tricky when someone is coming up the same side.
Sometimes that person will move and sometimes not. It's usually me who has to move I notice.

I don't know if it's a gender issue, it probably is in some cases.

I've had women do it to me, usually larger women and I'm a slim thing. I love that I have a huge buggy now

dervel, perhaps you could do a little informal research project- notice, out of people walking towards you, whether the women are more likely to swerve than the men before they get to you?

I too have noticed this in London, and yes, it's more prevalent in men. I must admit though, in my tiny, tiny rural village, it's more like a competition as to who is going to be the first to cede the narrow pavement and step into the road for an oncomer .

I have the opposite experience in the village where I live, certainly as far as older men are concerned.

On some pavements it is difficult to walk comfortably two abreast. If I am walking along the path men (especially older) leap into the road when they are yards away (and I am seriously not that scary) .

Because the camber on the path is steep and awkward for the elderly/disabled to move quickly off the kerb I tend to step into the road when the person coming towards me, male or female, is even older than I am or has a walking stick etc. If the person is male they invariably also walk into the road and expect me to either get back on the path or at least pass inside them.

Having read other threads on this topic I have tried walking further out into the road to see what would happen.

And what happens is they do the same and end up right in the middle so I still have to pass on the inside. Guess it keeps their sword arm free though.

When I worked in London I found everyone barges about in a hurry. Unless they are tourists of course, when, having walked down the wrong side of the escalator in the tube they stop dead at the bottom to stare at the map, so everyone has to leap aside or risk the entire queue going down like a row of dominoes.

Yes grimble, competitive courtesy can be just as irritating! Do we live in the same village? . (Don't get me started on the competitive courtesy/ imperious waving out, even when it's not safe to do so when driving).

Did my own little experiment today watching people from a coffee shop window for an hour and then walking around and putting myself on a path with others. Found out some men do some don't; some women do some don't.

Bit inconclusive really other than to say those that said all men or 100% of men are just plain wrong.

The prize for the most entitled person of the day goes to a young women with a buggy.

There's a sociological study waiting to be performed here. In the USA, people walking on sidewalks(!!) instinctively keep to the right, and head-on confrontations aren't very common. In the UK, nobody seems to have any expectation of which way they'll pass, and every encounter can be fraught with trouble, though most of the time people make decisions instinctively. I've wondered whether central London has enough bias from overseas tourists that there's a rough keep-right consensus, but I'm not sure about whether it's just in the UK that people won't keep to one side or the other, or if Americans are more disciplined than anyone else. Must take more holidays outside English-speaking countries and observe.

I notice it in London more than other towns. Though I will say that some pregnant women and those with prams believe they are superior to all other path users. The times i've nearly had my ankle rammed by a mother on a mission.