What do men think feminists should be focusing their energies on?

[PetulaGordino]

It's pretty clear that there are many men with constructive criticism to offer feminists in terms of what feminist issues they should be focusing their energies, activism and outrage on.

This vital advice is at risk of being lost, spread as it is among myriad threads in this section. Perhaps it would be a good idea to collect it together into one thread, for ongoing reference when posters in this section consider their feminist activities and whether they are really focusing on the right issues.

Obviously it should be borne in mind that feminists are only able to focus strictly on one topic at a time in terms of activism and outrage, so don't overload us with too many issues at once!

I'm making a giant jaffa cake.

Cointreau = female
Grand Marnier = male

"Child abuse, female genital modification and rape are the most important issues facing females today. If the people campaigning to take away men's Page 3 put as much effort in to tackling these issues the world could be a better place indeed."

If I had a fiver for every time a man has said this to me in 2015, I'd have the summer holiday half paid for an it's not even mid-February! Seriously where does this come from?

And while child abuse, FGM and rape are of course going to be feminist issues, why they hell aren't they issues for EVERYONE!!!

Surely child abuse, FGM and rape affect society as a whole - why can't men and non-feminists take these issues on board too?

MephistophelesApprentice though does she have a warped experience of men, no chance that all these men around her trying to date her and acting in a way far removed from how they would if it was all guys?

Good lord. Do you speak like that around your male partners?

No, just my female ones, you dear darling cunt, you, Magnetic.

Can you expand on your statement that Enormouses partner sounds 'like a total doormat' and your assertion that he has no 'dignity or self worth'?

Specifically, can you discuss this in light of the existing tradition whereby men keep their names on marriage?

Petula - you must see some gender roles. Otherwise, how do you analyse what you see around you?

there is a difference between "see" and "recognise". perhaps reject is a better word

'Cunt' is a very sexist word.

The danger, though, Meph, is that by self identifying as "not one of those nasty feminists" she may fall into the trap of a kind of "I'm alright Jack" take on the world.

Take the typical sort of group action you see in an "Equal pay for work of equal value" case - e.g. the speech therapists (predominantly female) compared to pharmacists and clinical psychs (predominantly male) case at Frenchay Hospital in the mid 1980s. The "I'm alright Jack" attitude thinks that as long as it's possible for an individual woman to have the option of training as a pharmacist or clinical psych then everything in the garden is rosy. The feminist position would be that if the work is equally valuable and requires equal levels of skill to perform, then we should be campaigning to equalise pay levels across the board.

I mean, I get a kick out of subverting people's gender expectations, but I'd like to see more change in the world than just that - I'd like, for instance, the "caring professions" to be valued and paid what they deserve, I'd like, for instance, women who set up their own business judged on what they achieve, not patronised as "mumtrepeneurs", at the "trivial" end of the spectrum I'd like to see COD and Candy Crush both thought of as harmless pastimes, rather than leading to vicious attacks online (I put "trivial" in inverted commas, but it's far from trivial if you're a female gamer being threatened with doxxing or rape for being on the wrong side of the Gamergate controversy).

I'm making a giant jaffa cake.

How? How big? Recipe? Photo?

Oh poor Mr Enormouse. (Taking my name there, hope that's ok).

Petula please add - "win back the Cool Girls" to the list.

She said don't recognize, not don't see. You can see other people attribute certain practices to gender, and still disagree with them that gender is the cause.

Though, I find it both wonderful, and sad, that that statement ('feminists don't recognize gender roles') can be made with absolute certainty on MN, and I would think 99% of posters understand what is meant by it.

Not the case in a lot of feminism, I find.

Sorry, I cross posted, and also came across as patronizingly trying to explain your post, petula, which wasn't what I meant to do - I was just musing on the fact you get to say that on here.

It's a MN recipe, 9in cake tin, jelly (not as dilute as normal jelly, if that makes sense) and melted chocolate on top.

Thank you! I'll look for the recipe on here.

'Recognise' still isn't true. I agree 'reject' is much better.

not in the least jeanne! i did wonder whether i should put "some" in there though

'Cunt' is a very sexist word.

Why? Mine isn't sexist at all.

For some reason I picture a giant jaffa cake as the size of a car tyre (oops, not very feminine here, thinking about car tyres. Can someone correct me please).

Is it like that?

Has anyone seen that enormous truck tyre at the Science Museum in London?

why isn't "recognise" true? i appreciate that "reject" perhaps is more explicit, but "recognise" in the sense of "refuse to acknowledge the validity" is also true

Fuckoff- you really don't know?

And yes, I do say "cunt" in front of Mr Groundhog. He's survived so far

"acknowledge the validity" rather

Unfortunately that size cake tin wouldn't fit in my oven. So it's more of a 'mid sized jaffa'.

Although either way, magnetic isn't having any.