Feminist Pub 16: where the Bluestockings develop armoured stockings to deal with the thousand paper cuts

[FibonacciSeries]

Carry on.

The term "forced birther" conveys the meaning much better than "pro-life". I've never heard of it before though. >

I'm a bit afronted by being described as having low standards. I think my standards are very high. It's just not about the same things.

Obviously, what I meant was that he was angry with the "pro-life" woman.

I must just stop posting when tired!

I can't really relate to the high flyers thread. But I am finding it interesting that, after five years living with a man, who is in many ways quite a tidy and housework-y man (well, he is now), I know I'm really fussy about things being clean and tidy. I really am.

However, now I'm living with a woman, and I really just don't have that recurring need to bite my tongue about something that's been done/not done. Ok, that's complicated by the fact you have a different relationship with your flatmate than with your partner, and I bet there are things we each do that makes the other slightly , but it's just sooooooo relaxing.

Sorry, that may be a slightly off-beam observation.

Forced birther is a good strong term. But sad.

I agree that forced birther conveys the reality well, but it can be such a forceful term that it's quite alienating for people. One thing I've noticed, on here and RL, is that, until they've discussed and thought about it, a lot of people see pro-life as meaning that they wouldn't choose abortion for themselves. I've seen threads on here were someone starts out 'pro life' and quite quickly realises that they are someone who is pro-choice but wouldn't choose to terminate themselves.

Anyway, after that long introduction, I tend to describe someone as 'anti legal abortion'. It opens up a conversation about how abortion happens whether it is legal or not. And anti-abortion feels fairly neutral as a term to me, which often takes the conversation further IYSWIM.

In other news, Sophie Heawood in the Guardian put her finger on what annoyed me about the survey this week on dads on the school run:

"On the other hand, it was reported last week that 68% of working fathers under 35 now regularly take their kids to school, as opposed to 61% of working mothers under 35. Which is rather lovely, what progress, etc – except that the school run is a quantifiable task with a beginning and an end, and it’s visible, and you can say you’ve done it – whereas a hundred other parenting tasks that are not so easily defined are still mainly being done by women, and we will never hear about it."

Also, and I am still to find the raw data, but I suspect that 'regularly' includes once a week. So a family where one parent does one morning and the other does four would count in 'regularly' doing the school run. And I bet the figures aren't similar for the end of the day - when picking the kids up at 3 means being responsible for them for 3 hours afterwards as well.

Bah humbug.

Penguin full report here

Interesting, so regularly was more than half the time. But it's a very small sample for all the shouting it got. A very different picture in the next age gap. Given the time lag between becoming a parent and school drop off and the 7 years most families will do it for, we could be talking a lot of similarities between the groups. Only had a quick look, but didn't see figures for picking up either.

It just doesn't ring true for me that more dads drop off than mums. More than used to, yes, but not more.

and thank you

It wasn't a cut off Buffy. It was an age grouping. In older groups, as you'd expect, more women did it.

Drop-offs are a piece of cake. Does it include all the preparations beforehand too?

If people packaged up their kids nicely and get them out of the door I can do drop-offs with one eye shut.

Exactly. In a generally equal relationship it is a good job to share. But it has far too much potential to be a glory job to say it shows a shift in men's attitudes.

Drop off. Start work half an hour later. Finish later - oops too late to cook tea. I bloody bet the stats on pick up are far more one sided.

I hate drop off! I like pick up better because once I've got them then I don't have to switch my head again.

Dh used to do all drop offs and one puck up each week. The other days DD went to after care. His work were fine with him getting in lateish but I'm a teacher so had to start on time.

The one eve DH picked up he did dinner and bed. I stayed at work as late as necessary to get everything done for the next week.

Now DD is at the same school as me but DH does one pick up as I go to college for a night class.

I still feel like he doesn't do 50% but he works longer hours and is very amenable to me going out while he stays in. He just doesn't rush around doing housework while I'm in the pub so it's all still there the next morning.

I need a house that can clean itself while I go to the pub.

I need a house that declutters itself. I'm the one who gets rid of outgrown clothes/broken toys/rubbish books etc. Which is quite therapeutic usually, but gets a bit much other times.

God yes. The Stuff. I have the reputation in our family for being messy. But at least I deal with Stuff not just shove it in a cupboard.

I'm going to deal with 'The Stuff' especially the books in the next couple of weeks. If I'm putting all my books on shelves so that I can actually see them all, I really need to get rid of the 'Oh! Puffins loves books, so let's palm this box of utter tripe off on her' books that various people have given me and I've been too polite to scream and run away from.

I might alphabetise them as well. Or put them into chronological order, or author order..... oh god, this is turning into my record collection from the 80's isn't it?

You could sort them by spine color. It looks very pretty that way and apparently people who do this say it's easy to find them as they remember what a book looks like.

I might alphabetise them as well. Or put them into chronological order, or author order..... oh god, this is turning into my record collection from the 80's isn't it?

I have had serious discussions with a friend about whether it was going too far to arrange everything under full Dewey classification...

(It is; I would need a bigger house. But they are shelved by category, and for fiction, by author.)

Ebear keep it simple - sorting my books took longer than I could ever have imagined tho greatly satisfying.

I have around 4000 books, so... yeah.

Bloody hell.