Feminist Pub 15: The Bluestocking hangs up its, err, stocking and hopes for a chatty Christmas and a Feminist New Year

[YonicSleighdriver]

Festive greetings!

This is the 15th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, get some booze and snacks and hang out! Lurkers, newbies and oldbies welcome.

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and we cheer each other up when patriarchy grinds us down...

Last pub drinkie linkie:

Pub 14

Merry Christmas, pub

Have been reading various threads on MN today and I'm the posters who say that their DH has not given them any presents despite the poster themselves giving them presents, or getting crap gifts from their DH like someone else's old shoes.

This is a gender role thing isn't it.

Of course, Briar - it's women's responsibility to do presents, apparently. The poor men couldn't possibly be expected to realise that their partners don't want to buy presents for themselves. Or something.

Congratulations, Dragonlette!

Conversation with MIL yesterday about how she wanted to buy the toddler a toy Hoover but was worried I'd think it sexist. Had to point out that no, sexist would be buying her a Hoover because she's a girl. Buying her a Hoover because she's obsessed with Hoovers is absolutely fine.

I mean I know there is this "hahaha men are so crap at shopping" stereotype & in my family too, but when it comes to gifts to your partner it's just so disrespectful to not give a damn and not give anything, just receive
I wish other women would not accept such behaviour...

DH bought me a flying pan and a rolling pin. But then I bought him tea towels.

I certainly know a lot of men who are very thoughtful and generous gift givers. I would imagine the kind of man who doesn't bother getting anything for his wife for Christmas is the kind who thinks kids/housework are beneath him Because Penis for the rest of the year.

"flying pan" Hahaha! That would be very cool. But no, t'was the regular frying type.

I have just dispatched DP back to MIL with the kids to retrieve the presents we abandoned yesterday while I tidy up and cull some tat (we've done two drop and runs over the past 3 days so the place looks like it's been burgled.. more than usual).

TBH I got the better end of the deal (she says while swigging straight from the bottle of home-made amaretto her sister gave her for Christmas) - the kids are in bits following 3 days of excitement and presents!

DP feels very guilty that he didn't get me anything this year (although weirdly doesn't feel guilty that he's forgotten my birthday twice in the years we've been together), despite the fact that he knows that I couldn't care less about presents (I have money, I can get something if I want it!) and would actually be more miffed if he went out and spent money on stuff I don't need just for the sake of it.

Out of the two of us I'd say that when he puts some thought into it he's an awesome present giver, but this year we've been rushed off our feet to it's gift tokens all round for the adults in his family (I sorted the kids). Which also seems silly to me - everyone exchanging money is ridiculous and I wish we could just go to a one little gift policy (and the same for the kids - they were deluged)

home-made amaretto? How do you make home-made amaretto?

We were quite restrained with gifts this year. But in my culture we do give each other money. It's probably on the same level of silliness as buying things for each other that people can buy themselves. :) So it's not about the things/money... When I was young we used to just get a token amount of money in red packets. It's just nice.

possible Amaretto recipe?

Ooh. Ta puffins. If I make any there'll be room on the sofa for you too!

Thanks! I'll pass on the Ammaretto though.

Now, if you're making some sloe gin......

Grr, some "up and coming sportspeople of the year" article I the Times not only had (a) all individual entries apart from a generic "women's teams" at number 7 or so which covered cricket, rugby and tennis but also described the number one up and comer, Grigor Dimitriov, as "saddled with a trophy girlfriend, Maria Sharapova"

That will be the Sharapova currently ranked number 2 in the world compared to Dimitriov's career high of 8, then?

Don't think I'll ever be able to take anything the Time says seriously again after they named fucking Farrage person of the year.

*Times obviously

I quizzed my sister - boringly it's vodka and coffee syrup - tastes just like the real stuff, probably not much cheaper though. They didn't even brew the booze themselves (top tip - super yeast can brew up to nearly 20% with just sugar and water - you just need to add twice as much to your coke to get it boozy) :(

Sloe Gin barely makes it the couple of weeks it takes to get some flavour round here. Self control isn't our strong suit!

I know nothing about tennis (except for MIL's obsession with Nadal) but surely, surely that must be tongue in cheek (albeit in bad taste)? Even I've heard of Sharapova.

I gave a red packet to my new niece (my sister has better taste than me, so I let her buy her own baby stuff) - we lived in SE Asia for a bit and thought it was a very civilised way to do presents when you didn't really know people, but my kids were deluged. It's lovely the relatives care so much, but really, one present each is already plenty. Some of it hasn't even been unboxed and I'm taking it straight down to the charity shop.

DS1 got the complete set of Mr Men. I shall have to hide them from DP, so that they can be read properly, with Ms substituted for Miss.

I'm just popping into the pub to say what a lovely bunch of women you all are. I'm looking forward to another year of yakking on in a feministy fashion.

Can I hide in here for a bit? I don't think I can cope with any more Xbox arguments. I'm seriously considering Christmas in the Southern Hemisphere next year. I reckon it would be a less stressful time if year if there was more daylight and better weather. The DC aren't very good at being cooped up indoors.

Of course, hide. May I offer you a calming glass of wine/cup of tea?

We've just watched the second hobbit movie ... Must check rating on 3rd one if we are going to the cinema ... Anyone seen that?

I saw it last night. It's 12A. There's quite a lot of battle in it. I quite enjoyed it, despite that - I did feel at times the battle scenes are there to show off their CGI skills rather than actually being necessary to show at such great length.

Also - as I don't often go to the cinema - do they usually have so many car adverts before it starts?

To be fair, in between the adverts, the trailers for other films and the end credits, there's only about 15 minutes of actual film, if you take out the battle scenes...

I saw it on Christmas Eve. Found it very formulaic and way too long.

typical man wankery. lots of 'ooh look at me with my CGI' to go with Tokein's 'Ooh look at me with my long descriptions.'

It was fun in an utterly mindless kind of way. Could have been done in 15 minutes.

We've quite enjoyed the first two ...

But of course nobody beats Ursula Le Guin's dragons ...

According to DS I'm a hipster.

Me: "How the fuck do you work that out? I look and dress like a middle aged bloke!"

Him: "Yeah, but all the other men your age try to look and dress way younger. Therefore you are deffo a hipster."

Me: "Get to fuck!" :o

DD1 says I'm a cool granddad. I bought her daughter a toy. A dinosaur that walks and roars. DGD loves it, but hasn't given it a name but has specified that the dinosaur is a female. A win for DD1, and also for me.

DD2 looks like she'll have to get into politics. She rants and raves about inequality and feminism but refuses to see what she needs to do to help change things by helping out in local politics.

I look at them and see three young adults who I'm so proud of for having voices they're not afraid to use, and a unified political voice that loathes inequality and looking down on those less lucky than you. I blame their mother and I in equal measures for their outlook on life. Their mother is an awesome woman.

If you don't mind I'll just sit in a corner with my pint of Scruttock's Owd Fantabulous (if it's on) or Hopshackle Imperial Russian Stout and my book. Ta.