Feminist Pub 14: The Bluestocking, a place for feminist chat and feminists to chat

[YonicScrewdriver]

Welcome!

This is the 14th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, flop onto the chaise lounges with some

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and a variety of drinks and snacks. And stools/bar counters at female friendly heights. And a crèche in the back somewhere

Will link the last pub in the next post!

When I was a teenager, my mom asked me to start helping with the housework. I said I would only do it if my brother did, too. She gave up (apparently asking my brother to do housework would just be too much for her) but when my parents went on weekends away we were both supposed to keep the house tidy. My brother would do his share of the work really sloppily, and I would have to go after him fixing things. His plan, obviously, was to get me to the point of exasperation where I would just do everything myself. Unluckily for him, I soon cottoned in on his strategy and left his sloppy work there for my parents to see when they returned. He learnt the lesson quickly.

I only recently out my foot down properly re being default female (read: dogsbody) when my mum isn't there and we're visiting my parents

I had to do equality and diversity training at work today. It was interesting. V little time on sex discrimination compared to all other types of discrimination

We had quite a good E&D training, but it's the questions people asked that really scared me: "Surely we are allowed to choose a male advocate because generally men have more gravitas and the jury would be more convinced so that's the best choice for the client", etc. Luckily the trainer made it quite clear what's what...

Working, John Inverdale apologised for his Marion Bartolli comment and the Russian coach for his Williams sisters comments - it's worth a complaint to sky...

It wasn't bad at all lordc - it was well done for what it was (was computer-based, I have in-person training next year). but I was interested in the focus, and they couldn't place emphasis on one type of discrimination over another of course.

Time Magazine has issued an apology for including "feminist" on its list of proposed banned words.

www.salon.com/2014/11/17/time_apologizes_for_suggesting_ban_on_the_word_feminist/

"Surely we are allowed to choose a male advocate because..."

Another moment LordC. Bloody hell, do these people just not have that little filter in their head that goes "Yes, do say this, no don't say that..."??? Fuck me...

Do those same people say "surely we can choose a white advocate, because....err, gravitas" Ever??!?!?

It's better they reveal themselves as fuckwits immediately than that one should mistakenly be nice to them because one is well brought up.

I am having one of those "why did I look at a thread in AIBU?" moments. It's the "explaining what Ched Evans did to your 9 year old" one. Someone has basically said a young woman in their family was raped aged 15 but it was (insert euphemism of your choice for "her fault") because she and her friend went out without permission, got drunk, then went to a party with older men where they were raped. But the bit that has me really upset is the fact that she's said the young woman (now in her 20s) won't open up, and is repressing it all. Well, with attitudes like that in your family, you would, wouldn't you?

I really hope that one day that young woman meets people who sit her down and say "It wasn't your fault - it's in the job description of teenagers to buck parental authority and push against boundaries. Nothing you could have done was an invitation to rape, because there is no such thing as an invitation to rape. Rape is something evil men who hate women choose to do to women, not something women bring upon themselves. The fault likes entirely with the evil men who decided to rape you."

Evening all

I used to deliver diversity training. It was mostly on sex discrimination iirc. That is the City for you.

You ok, MEOD?

:(

My best mate was applying for CICA compensation for her date rape just before she killed herself. I'm glad I didn't go on the thread.

Oh Balls, that's terrible. So sorry to hear that.

I have just come across a poem I really like. It's called, "What's That Smell in the kitchen" by Marge Piercy.

It starts

All over America women are burning dinners.

And ends

Burning dinner is not incompetence but war.

So - all of us that have experienced 'men folk' who can't do cleaning/cooking properly - women are just as able to do the same. I may need to start posting the first and last line on any of those 'menz don't see dirt like women do' type threads.

In other news - my gp saw the blood results about my thyroid and has made me an urgent appointment for this Weds. Glad it's being addressed, but obviously worried about what exactly is going on.

That thread sounds awful

On a less significant note, John Humphries got my back up on R4 this morning. He had a piece with a woman involved in making a tapestry being done to commemorate 800 years since the signing of the Magna Carter. He asked how many people were involved in it and she said there were 8 women. His response was immediately to shriek "no men? Why are men being excluded? Isn't that discrimination?" She said no men had volunteered. Then after allowing her a little time to talk about her actual point, she was explaining that they don't work from pre-drawn plans but sew freehand but often had to unpick hours of work. Humphreys said "Ahah! Now I understand why some people are better at it that others, but I'd better not say anything or I'll be accused of sexism"

Could you imagine a similar conversation about 8 men working on any project? I've started to notice more and more things he says that get my back up.

I have fucking had it with the men I work with today. Fuck me, such an incompetent group of men I wish I had never encountered . My male manager sits on his arse all week, while I run around like a blue-arsed fly, figuring out the strategy and doing the organisation part of his job, as well as my job. Fuck me, I am not sure I want to work for him or this company in the future... I am now at home, necking wine.

I am glad I haven't seen that Ched Evans thread in AIBU. I do find AIBU a real varying mix of opinions, not all of which would jive with a feminist ethic. I have had my fill of trying to convince people who don't want to have their opinion changed - this is an un-winnable war, and one I will no longer engage in. These days I am far more interested in seeking out those who are willing to see an alternative - they are the ones who are worth my time.

Zazzles (And was slightly at necking wine at 9 in the morning until I remember where you are .)

As John Stuart Mill pointed out over 100 years ago - all this discrimination only serve to keep the incompetent in and the competent out. But it seems that nobody will see this. They bleat on about positive discrimination and all that bollocks the nanosecond you say half a word about equality. Bastards and fools. I hate them all. (Did I say that before?)

Yep LordC, haven't quite reached the desperation where I am necking wine at 9am... yet. Will let you know when/if I get there

I sometimes feel like that at 9am after sending DC to school ...