Feminist Pub 14: The Bluestocking, a place for feminist chat and feminists to chat

[YonicScrewdriver]

Welcome!

This is the 14th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, flop onto the chaise lounges with some

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and a variety of drinks and snacks. And stools/bar counters at female friendly heights. And a crèche in the back somewhere

Will link the last pub in the next post!

Happy birthday Buffy.

Great use of the canon. (Love the "you need a bigger canon" comment).

And good work, FrauHelga! (Sits grumpily in the corner 'cos I haven't had a snog in fucking years!)

I have dated loads since I split from my ex. And I've had a lot of kinky fun. But.

This man has come totally out of left field. I go for tall but immaculate pretty boys. They have to be educated to a standard (shallow blush) and they have a "look" and they have to be sub.

This man isn't. He's a big lump of a man. Not at all my usual type. And he isn't pinging my subdar at all. He's a farmer come lorry driver. And he talks culchie. And he's 6ft5 tall and 6ft5 around and size 13 feet.

Don't get me wrong, I know it's early days and I am not one for falling head over heels anyway, but it feels comfortable. Weird weird weird.

And he makes me feel tiny. And protected. Which is even weirder.

A stupid example. My ex always thought things through and his way was/is the most logical way and he cannot understand when other people don't react the way he would. This extends to driving. He used to scare me shitless in the car because he would just drive like he owned the road. It made me very very nervous in the car and that has carried on and made me a very nervous passenger. Me and newman drove to sit and look at the river today and I never felt that. And it wasn't until after that I realised I had sat in the car with him driving and it never even crossed my mind to be nervous. Odd.

So I don't know where this is going to end up with this man, but it's unusual for me. And it's not that I'm uncomfortable with him, I'm just a bit unsettled. But at the same time I have a silly grin on my face. And I have realised I don't know how to do a normal relationship. Totally out of my comfort zone.

Sorry - yesterday, not today.

No edit function, balls, but I have a horse if you would like one?

LOL he had on a very nice shirt and jeans and he smelt of divine aftershave

This amused me, apart from the reference to women as 'chicks', which might be an error in translation. It's about how Iceland should welcome Julien Blanc.

Buffy, that is a hilarious photo!

Puffins that's ace

Puffins that's so good, it deserves a thread of it's own. To quote:

< Instead Dagsson, 37, proposes that the men of Iceland “use our privilege for good”.
“Chauvinists like this creature are almost without exception homophobic. They fear nothing more than someone treating them like they treat women,” he wrote. “I say we hit on Julien Blanc. Every single one of us.”
He went on to say: “I urge every male reporter to stroke his thighs while interviewing him. I urge every large man to tell him what a purdy mouth he has…
“I think this will be the funniest thing ever. Let’s not help him feel like a hero. Let’s make him feel like the one thing he most despises. Let’s make him feel like a chick.” >

(I'm willing to accept that chick is a translation blip)

That is absolutely hysterical, Puffins. I want to see those encounters filmed, along the lines of 10 hours walking through New York... (Actually, a gay male friend of my parents did this to a misogynist once, way back in the 1960s - edged up the sofa towards him saying "you know, I really like you..." until the guy shuffled so far in the opposite direction he fell off the end onto his arse).

Isn't chick implying "making JB feel like a woman in the way that HE views women" ie as chicks, birds etc.

Yeah Yonic, I think it probably is.

I'm stilling giggling about it

Yes, yonic, on second thoughts, I think so.

I read it Yonic's way. v funny.

Ah I missed thr Julien Blanc CNN interview that's linked from that one about the Icelandic person. He was shitting himself and the interviewer made him look like a complete idiot. "I didn't mean it like that" is his excuse? Jeepers. Mind you a lot of my friends say that when I point out their offensiveness...

Ha, I am enjoying the way this thread if turning 50 shades of feminism!

As I was in town for the first time for ages, I popped into the bank, to say when I get my new card (due to expire in a couple of months, I'd very much like it not to say Miss E Bearhug, as I don't use any title.

At some point in the next week, I will be receiving a card with just E Bearhug on it. Apparently it's not possible to have a bank account with no title at all, but they are changing it to Ms, which is a compromise I will have to live with for now. Might write to them, though, to ask why I can't choose not to use a title - if they need to know I'm M or F for ID purposes, can't they just have a field that says that?

(Maybe I should have got that IT job I went for with them last year, except I realised in travelling to the interview that I really don't want to work in London.)

Happy birthday Buffy
Puffins that's great I needed a good laugh today!
Frau good for you I hope it works out for you.. I can (just about) remember that glorious feeling when you start seeing a man you really fancy.

'Tis true that you do tend to stumble across the good 'ums when you're least interested in finding them, and they tend not to tick your usual boxes. I certainly didn't expect to find the man I would marry up a date tree on a kibbutz in Israel!

Oh the stupidity!!!!!!

(Not of anyone here, obviously)

Happy Birthday Buffy!

And Frau, its lovely to find a man that you feel 'safe' with. Although I don't have a boyfriend/partner atm, its highly recommended And I don't think the example you gave in your post is stupid - these seemingly small acts which make you feel uncomfortable, are in reality red flags that are telling you 'This man is not right for me'. We are socialised as women to ignore these red flags regarding men, and thus get ourselves into situations that are harmful to us. You only have to read the posts from men which say "If only you (ie women) would [insert your chosen men-pleasing action here], men would treat you so much better [which they never do, they just demand even more from women]".

Happy birthday Buffy and nice one Frau. This thread has gone very happy.