Girls beating up boys

[Plymouthsupporter]

Has any girl on here ever beat up a boy?

Am I The only one here who has a serious problem with the idea of critiquing the language used by girls when they are propositioned on the street?

This thread is utterly weird.

The problem is the MEN. The girls are doing nothing wrong.

Well, NotDavidTennant, that's exactly how I perceived AsAMans post to be.

And yes, the assumption that has pervaded this site in the last week or so that every dominant woman has to be getting paid for it is fucking offensive to me.

All a matter of interpretation really, isn't it?

I didn't say to parrot that Seven, I said that is the message that is needed to get across.

It's a different message than "you can't afford it"

The girls are not doing anything wrong. But there may be a better way for them to express their sentiments than "you can't afford it" which implies that someone can.

The problem is the MEN. The girls are doing nothing wrong.

I couldn't agree more.

a man walks up to a 14 year old in the street and says "I bet you'd love to suck me off".

How about we critique his language?

Sorry, Seven, I thought you were coming at it from the attitude that men on the street were not trying to get into the girls' knickers, but "just" making creepy comments.

If someone is actually trying to get into a girl's knickers, and a simple, "leave me alone" is not sufficient, then, I suggest "I will call the police" may suffice.

But if we are talking about creepy "banter", it doesn't hurt to have a few stock phrases. And as they are stock phrases, we should perhaps consider their meaning before using them.

"I bet you'd love to suck me off"

"You can't afford it"

Which then leads to a "how much" because if they're that much of an arse to approach a girl in the street then that's where they'll go with it.

Of course the problem is with the men. I don't particularly like the insinuation that I am victim blaming, I said I don't like saying to men "you can't afford me"

Seven then asked what would you say then, I answered.

Simple as that.

I'll leave you all get on with arguing in circles.

sanity. What? What do you think men who go up to girls and say things that warrant the response " you can't afford it mate" are trying to do?

I don't understand the references to cat calling either.

Where I Am from this is said by girls to men who approach them and say sexually explicit things / proposition them.

And that's the only context it makes sense anyway. It's a response to a question, whether that question was explicit or implied.

Gaaaah! Why are we even discussing teenage girls? FrauHelga asked AsAMan, who, as I understand it, is a grown woman posting on the Internet, to consider her language.

No they don't frau. In my experience. Because the men and the girls know it means get stuffed. It is used in "safe" situations where there is more than one girl and the girls walk off laughing.

Ah right. Okay then, Seven. Well, my perception is different, and I'd rather my DD used a stock phrase that wasn't open to such misinterpretation - and I think she has found a good answer.

Interestingly, she and her friends don't use "you can't afford me" as a stock answer. Unless, of course, she's lying to me.

I never would use the phrase "you can't afford me" because it implies that some men could and that I have a price.

I prefer the other alternatives suggested.

Seven, i think men on the street who say sexually explicit things to girls are trying to make them feel uncomfortable, to give themselves a sense of power. I think it's less likely that they are actually expecting to have sex with them.

I haven't referenced cat calling. Must be someone else.

If saying "You can't afford it" gives a teenage girl a sense of power back, then fine. But so would "Fuck off, creep", which is less loaded with the language of patriarchy.

I'm not saying all teenage girls say it and I'm not saying it's a good thing to say.

I am saying that when it is said, in my experience, it is said by teenage girls when approached by men proposition ing them.

And that if the teenage girls have found it works for them, then I'm not going to criticise them for saying it.

They can say whatever they like if they find it gets the men to fuck off, Imo.

Okay, the straw teenagers aside.

What's your view on AsAMan's use of the phrase, on an Internet forum?

Why do you keep taking about straw teenagers?

Street harassment is very common and starts at about age 12 / 13. threads on here seem to indicate the worst years for it are secondary school and up to the early twenties.

This isn't a made up thing, it is a very real and very big problem.

And many girls have no fucking idea what to do about it, unsurprisingly. The problem here is the men. Not the language of the girls.

Well, then the girls need to be given the tools to deal with it.

And a grown woman saying "I doubt you have that sort of money" and referencing BDSSM on an internet forum isn't exactly going to help those girls much is it?

And before anyone jumps in, the obvious point I didn't make because to me it's blindingly obvious, is that we need to make sure that the sons we raise are raised not to do that.

I Think she made a throw away comment, as a knee jerk thing, of "what you say to creepy men".

I don't think she meant that all men who like to be hit for sex have something wrong with them, or that all women who are dominant in bdsm are prostitutes, or that there is anything wrong with masturbation. Nor do I think she was trying to open negotiations about price with him.

That's what I think. You'd have to ask her though.

I find this focus on the girls and "they need to be given some tools then" really uncomfortable.

especially when it's being said at the same time as critiquing one of the tools that they do use (our at least used to).

yes Seven and I immediately came on to say the obvious thing that is so obvious to me that I didn't think it needed saying was that we educate and rear our sons not to do it.

I'd rather give young women - and all women - language options that didn't demean women, but that's just me.

As I've said, I don't see any particular reason not to be crude when dealing with that sort of attention, whatever your age. But I've said repeatedly why that phrase is problematic as it relates to women and their bodies.

What next? Well, I'll challenge when I see/hear it.

If people mean 'not in a million years, sunshine', that's quite an effective way of saying 'not in million years' that doesn't have the unconscious implication that women's bodies have a price.

What an odd thread...

But here goes, my first foray onto this board.

I don't think that sort of a comment 'you can't afford me' has ANYTHING to do with price. It is to do with value. It means 'my value is so much higher than yours, that there is nothing in the world that you can do to afford me'.

It ALSO means that if someone of an equivalent VALUE comes along, then they would be of interest to me. Because they would be a worthy person unlike the scum of the earth that just approached me.....

Bringing it down to 'price' is just daft.

And I'm guess the reason why AsAMan used the stepping on the balls example, is because the OP was talking about being HURT by women, so clearly not in the realm of non-painful/hurting experiences, presumably to get his kicks off, so sexual, and in a very sick manner, so in the realms of SICK behaviour - which WOULDN'T be standard BDSSM so NOT what you participate in Frau.