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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Behold, a Man Has Arrived to Share His Manly View!

56 replies

CKDexterHaven · 22/08/2014 15:40

I'm sure a lot of you will be familiar with this meme.

Do you think the FWR board, and Mumsnet as a whole, would be better if there was an 'ignore' button? This would allow individual users to block all the posts of posters they know to be trolls and derailers without preventing those who wish to view those posts from viewing them. So many brilliant women don't post on this board anymore because they were silenced or side-tracked into exhausting Groundhog Day arguments. It would be great for feminists to debate with other feminists without having to rehash Feminism 101 over and over again.

I would also add that I have written posts on things like transgender issues that some people have found uncomfortable and offensive, although that wasn't my intention. I realise some things are controversial issues but I would rather be blocked by individuals than be required to self-censor or be censored by HQ. Trolls and derailers are setting the agenda on this board too often and I think we need a button to deal with them.

Behold, a Man Has Arrived to Share His Manly View!
OP posts:
Bluestocking · 22/08/2014 15:41

And behold, a Feminist arrives to predictably agree with the first Feminist!
I think that's a great idea, CK.

Vivacia · 22/08/2014 15:48

I think it's a good idea. I have also know forums to take a more active moderating approach in certain areas, including feminism, so that's another thought.

CaptChaos · 22/08/2014 15:51

I am waiting for the day that the ignore poster button is allowed. I have a short, but reasonable list of people who will never again encroach on my MNing pleasure.

There are also a couple of boards which could probably do with a bit more of a proactive approach to moderation.

Panzee · 22/08/2014 15:54

I post on another site and it is great having an ignore poster button. The other site is plagued by the ability to quote a poster, however, so I might see the post if its been quoted by someone else.
This site would be bliss, an ignore and no quote facility! :)

Original poster
CKDexterHaven · 22/08/2014 15:59

Panzee Yes, it works best if nobody feeds or quotes the troll and the troll becomes completely invisible. If the troll is engaged then the point of the 'ignore' button becomes a bit lost.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/08/2014 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SolidGoldBrass · 23/08/2014 02:11

Not sure. I like arguing with fuckwits and making them so cross they shit themselves.

Coughle · 23/08/2014 02:20

How about if once you've ignored someone, they appear on a "posters I'm ignoring" list and you can then unignore them if desired?

Or, threads could appear with "ignored post" where applicable, so that if you felt you were missing anything you could click on "view post"... But all the other ignored posts would remain ignored.

(The word ignored now makes no sense in my brain, BTW)

ArsenicyOldFace · 23/08/2014 02:21

That is an impressive power indeed Solid

Personally, I am of the CBA school and woud like an ignore button Smile

ArsenicyOldFace · 23/08/2014 02:22

would like...

Applefallingfromthetree2 · 23/08/2014 02:22

Really don't get this, why would you want to 'ignore' the opinions of others? What is the value of debate when everyone agrees with each other and feeds each others egos? As for goading, strong women can handle this surely.

ArsenicyOldFace · 23/08/2014 02:27

For the same reason you want to ignore a bluebottle when listening to a particularly gripping cricket commentary on the radio.

Some goady posters are just noise.

Vivacia · 23/08/2014 07:54

why would you want to 'ignore' the opinions of others?

I don't think it's opinions of others, it's faux naiveté, goading etc. It's certainly not debate.

What is the value of debate when everyone agrees with each other and feeds each others egos?

I don't read these boards to get my ego stroked. I read because the thoughts inform me, they teach me and quite often they challenge me.

Vivacia · 23/08/2014 07:55

As for goading, strong women can handle this surely.

Yes, because there's nowhere else we can go in life to experience this(!). We're choc-a-block with opportunities to talk about feminism though, without being silenced.

AICM · 23/08/2014 08:03

Hi CD!

Anniegetyourgun · 23/08/2014 09:40

Just because we can handle it doesn't mean we want to be bothered by it. I can handle nettle stings but I'd really rather avoid the bastards in the first place.

That said, I do like to goad back on occasion, depending on mood and time available.

Anniegetyourgun · 23/08/2014 09:42

ps The gentleman depicted in the OP is oddly reminiscent of XH, except he was thinner and often not wearing pants.

skrumle · 23/08/2014 10:05

"As for goading, strong women can handle this surely."

so are you suggesting that only strong women should be posting on this board? that if you can't handle goading you shouldn't be here?

vesuvia · 23/08/2014 13:03

Applefallingfromthetree2 wrote "What is the value of debate when everyone agrees with each other and feeds each others egos?"

Is Mumsnet supposed to be a debating society?

CaptChaos · 23/08/2014 14:16

What is the value of debate when everyone agrees with each other and feeds each others egos?

This would be fairly reasonable if, as Vesuvia says, MN was a debating society or if the people on my list of people to ignore were capable of debate. They aren't. In one case, the person is a MAN and his MANLY thoughts should always take precedence over everyone else's, if they don't, he starts using arguments which he doesn't really understand to back his case up and ends up looking like a tool, in another the woman will fixate on a tiny sub-clause in a sentence and, despite things moving on, will try and bring all conversation back to that tiny and irrelevant point. These people don't help debate to flow, they do all they can to stifle debate. If I can put them into an ignore pile, I can continue to debate with people who's views I value or those who can actually formulate a cogent argument.

Applefallingfromthetree2 · 23/08/2014 15:49

Vesuvius isn't debate a discussion of opinions and doesn't this lead to greater awareness and knowledge? What's wrong with that?

Skrumie I am not suggesting that only strong women should be posting on these boards. However I do feel that strength is gained from facing unpleasant comments and 'goading', not hiding and turning away from it.

Applefallingfromthetree2 · 23/08/2014 15:57

CaptChaos I do agree it is more rewarding to debate with those who can form a cogent argument (some men are also able to do this!).

Not so sure about only debating with those whose views you value, therein lies the slippery slope, closing one's mind to that which you prefer not to hear.

Anniegetyourgun · 23/08/2014 23:04

Not that I'm on FWR all that often, to be fair, but I haven't noticed the regulars here refusing to consider new issues or to discuss points of view they don't happen to agree with (see eg: various threads about Dawkins). But some of it's real silly shit; once you've read it and realised it has no substance there's no reason to keep on and on listening to the same non-arguments being rehashed for the sake of being annoying.

This is an open talkboard which most of us (I think it's fair to say) post on for interest, amusement, intellectual stimulation and any other reasons that seem good at the time. There is absolutely no obligation on anyone to engage in an argument they're not interested in. You may feel they ought to choose to; well, you're entitled to your opinion, of course. Whether anyone agrees, disagrees or can even be arsed to read your opinion is up to them. I, for one, am a good few decades past the age where anyone had the right to tell me what I ought to be interested in. (Doesn't stop 'em, of course.)

CaptChaos · 23/08/2014 23:37

Applefallingfromthetree2 - Not so sure about only debating with those whose views you value, therein lies the slippery slope, closing one's mind to that which you prefer not to hear.

You're making the assumption that I only value people's opinions if they accord with mine. Which is a bit of a weird thing to assume really. It's also a bit strange that you would assume that I believe that all men are incapable of forming cogent arguments on the basis that one man who is incapable of doing so posting on this board.

Strength is not automatically gained from facing unpleasant comments, this isn't a computer game where if you manage to face someone telling you to die in a fire without crying means you level up. All that's gained from responding to goady fuckers is the derailment of interesting and lively threads and debates, which means that the GF 'wins'. Why should anyone have to deal with unpleasantness and goading, here or anywhere else?

Original poster
CKDexterHaven · 24/08/2014 00:19

There are many feminists on this board whom I disagree with on some things and agree with on others. I would never want to 'ignore' them. However, the board is called Feminism and Women's Rights Chat - chat, not constant argument. Men might not know this but not every conversation has to be framed as a debate or an argument, not everything has to be a confrontation, and to live your life like that is not very productive.

OP posts:
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