Can we talk about female violence? I need to get my response straight

[GrassIsSinging]

I know this is celeb rubbish, but am finding my blood boiling over comments from FB friends and the like over the Solange Knowles -punching-Jay Z debacle.

Lots of seemingly conscious, smart, reasonable people condemning violence of any sort (great, agreed), but then saying things like 'the double standards in society sicken me...Chris brown beats Rihanna and he is a monster...Solange attacks Jay Z and people dont respond in the same way'. Others (people I thought were decent) saying 'You couldnt have blamed him for hitting back...people have a right to defend themselves' etc.

This riles me massively. Am I a freak for thinking that male violence against women IS often (not always, but very often) much more devastating than vice versa? Because men are usually physically stronger...because male violence against women is a huge problem in this world...? And that a decent man will not hit a woman, even if provoked. Is this an 'old fashioned ' view now?

Feminism doesnt mean we now have to accept men punching us, ffs!

Depressed...

I mean by all means if you are concerned about women attacking you on the street, please do fight against the female on male violence problem.. You just may find that Mumsnet FWR section is not the best place to start your campaign, being that we are all anti violence and for equality (and not the beating up of men).

Maybe find a forum devoted to women who want to beat up men?

Although, if I were you and wanted to lessen my risk of violence I'd start with men as they are the ones most likely to kill or hurt you and the chance of you being murdered by a woman are very slim.

"We point to data recorded about violence"

That's only the incidents that are reported. What about all the male victims of DV who don't report because they would be ridiculed?

Does that fact give women the right to hit men whenever they feel like it?

Is that a big problem for you? Women randomly attacking you because they fancy it? I don't believe in victim blaming, but if that were something that happened frequently to me I'd start to question my life a bit.

DO you think murders by women of men aren't reported too?

Because we know many women are murdered by men.

"but if that were something that happened frequently to me I'd start to question my life a bit."

Just imagine if a man said that about a female victim?

Perhaps women who are victims of DV more than once need to question their lives a bit??

Feminism is not something that should be supported. Too many double standards.

Well we weren't discussing DV were we? We were discussing women being allowed to hit people "whenever they wanted to". And being that MEN are persistently the most violent and likely to attack someone I am confused to why you believe that is the case?

Anyway you haven't answered anyone, what are you doing to curb male violence against males? Being that you are much morel likely to be attacked raped or murdered by a man.. this must really worry you?

Male victims of DV are less likely to find support and more likely to experience ridicule because of patriarchal constructions of masculinity, not because of feminism.

If you say "Careful" to girls and not boys, you communicate that you believe girls to be vulnerable and fragile and boys to be strong and resilient. This is sexist, and will help your nieces and nephews internalize these self images. In this way, you are involved in their patriarchal social construction, and if in the future you find them to be treated differently in context of violence, you can count yourself amongst those who have brought this inequality about.

Perhaps women who are victims of DV more than once need to question their lives a bit??

Of course they should. Because escaping a dv relationship and suffering through one causes psychological damage. Of course it does.

If you are persistently drawn to violent and abusive partners then you absolutely should question why.

What's wrong with that?

Women slaps man- fine.

Man slaps her back- 20 other guys beat him to a pulp.

"patriarchy" my ass

He was standing with his hands behind his back when she assaulted him. Not exactly posing much of a physical threat was he?

Wow that was pretty weird.

20 men pile up while shouting "fuck your mum" and "fuck your sister" to attack a person who can't fight back. And you have decided the woman who was doing some sort of weird thing for a tv show is the one at fault?

Well that's proved a few things to me.

Meanwhile... India doesn't have a problem with patriarchy. Awesome.

Also you still haven't answered my question.. I can phrase it differently now in light of your little video.

Do you think the man being pummeled was more worried by the slap from the one woman, or the twenty violent men who came in to pile in on him? Is that proof that women can be violent or is it proof that men are overwhelmingly more likely to be violent?

Where were all the women piling in to have a go? Does that come later in the video? Is it like the scene in Life of Brian (are they all in disguise wearing false beards?)

That is exactly patriarchy. It's patriarchy which requires men to be strong and women vulnerable. Feminists oppose this. The outcomes of this thinking include high levels of male initiated violence - it's considered manly . Feminist campaigners do focus on this as it affects so many people and is responsible for over 90% of violent deaths, for example. However another outcome of this thinking is that female violence against men is seen as unimportant and not a threat. If you are concerned about female violence being minimised you are on the side of the feminists because this phenomenon is caused by the patriarchal construction of men as strong and powerful and women as weak and powerless.

Seriously, that's the best 'proof' you can find?!

Anyone curious about the Tv show linked

From Wiki.
About the show

Started off its 1st season in 2009. It's a show where participants agree upon getting bullied by the "hosts" who make them do tasks to eventually win the show.

Dadagiri: Beat the Bullies, the bully "Esha, the Goddess" used to put up her challenge at the last and used to humiliate the contestants most (even asked the contestants once in an episode to rub their noses on her boots). In one episode, she slapped a contestant Ravi Bhatia (an unscripted physical attack), after instigating a brief, antagonistic verbal exchange. In response he slapped her, and then kept saying 'How can she slap?". This resulted in the male host (and several other members of the crew) attacking Bhatia, with the crew appearing to be slow in breaking them up. The male host also used offensive and threatening language toward Bhatia. Bhatia subsequently sent a legal notice to the producers, asking for a public apology.

Wtf?!

I think "WTF" probably best sums it up walter.

Man go show purely to be harassed and abused to wine a prize. Host goes too far and smacks him, he smacks back harder. and then a whole host of men jump in to beat the crap out of him while shouting misogynistic insults.

I actually think it's a really good video to show the statistics of gendered violence. One woman to about twenty men beating the holy crap out of each other.

Well done to risa for getting it right. How unusual for an MRA