The Feminist Pub - come in and chat.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This is something like the fourth pub chat thread - please pull up a chair at the bar. Everyone welcome.

Old thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1920422-The-Feminist-Pub-continued?

But it's pretty much full so welcome in.

Perhaps you could just be a pie wielding feminist Buffy. Or would that confuse results as some people would think 'custard' and some people would think 'mmmm, baking fan'. .

Have had a shit day. Really quite literally. In that low level way you can when at home with small children. Peak was waiting in the doctor's reception when DD2 did an enormous poo in her pants and I had to drag her to the loos in front of disapproving pensioners then knelt in something I am sincerely choosing to believe was water in the loos (though it didn't stop me changing my clothes and washing as soon as I got home).

Does that earn me a large virtual wine?

Had a conversation with DD1 where a girl had told her that pink apples were for girls. Turned out this is partly the pink thing, and partly because they are called 'pink lady' apples. Still, became rather fun when she worked out her favourite was a granny smith!

I wonder if people respond better or worse to fairies ?

Don't know... Dragons seem well-received (except those pesky Feminist ones - inflammatory in the wrong way )

Perhaps we should petition MNHQ to increase the name limit from 30 characters. Presumably its a pretty much arbitrary limit.

My DH loves a nice firm Pink Lady.

Feel your pain penguins. Seemed to do this a lot with DS2. Especially while heavily pregnant.
Yes, DS1 asks quite searching questions about this sort of stuff. My degree is in philosophy (dead white man philosophy unfortunately) so I wonder if he's following in my shoes.

Thanks for the sympathy all.

Right, here is a proper feminist question. Anyone know how you go about finding a satisfying career as a mid 30s mother of three (relevant because DH works away a lot and I can't just plough the hours in headlong) who wants a change of direction?

Well, to start with we might need some clue as to what direction you were changing from and what your current skill base is and what sort of thing floats your boat.

oh, and the ages of the children.

Well, it will be two in school and a baby by the time I get around to it (after this bump comes out and I've had some time with him/her). I'm an ex-City lawyer, but I suppose I'm just not sure where one starts identifying your skills, interests, etc. I need career advice of the sort I never got as a sixth former

Was law your degree or did you do a conversion?

Buffy, if you'd been pie wielding, it might have had a double meaning...

Probably shouldn't say the specific niche as it will out me a bit. I loved knowing all the technical stuff, working with people, working out solutions to problems. Hated all the admin and that it was always so confrontational (much as I like a good argument, a bit of collaboration wouldn't go amiss). Also not in London any more so looking for something that can happen in smaller cities/large towns (don't want to totally out myself by saying where!). I am really not sure what my ideal day would look like, except that I'd like to go home at a reasonable time and not suddenly and at short notice be expected to stay until 1am!

Like I said, I think I need a career counsellor. I wonder if such things exist?

Doctrine - yup, law degree. Back in the mists of time when I remember studying the Human Rights Act as a bill and being told that rape within marriage was a recent legal change!

There are flexible working type law firms - Keystone Law is one and a few others have advertised on here. Are you able to travel to meetings or would you need to WFH or locally all of the time?

UCL (I think) does cheapish career counselling for professionals, there may be one at a uni near you. Or were there any headhunters you knew well enough to have a chat about things in general?

I could potentially travel, would depend what childcare I put in place and how flexible the work (when DH isn't away he can be very flexible himself). I'm just not sure I still want to be a lawyer. The confrontation wears me down. Good point about universities potentially doing career counselling. There's a few near me, I shall have to check it out. Thank you. The headhunters I knew were all very City focused.

Are you from a legal background too Doctrine?

No, just worked with a fair few lawyers

Ah, I see. . I like law, I really do. I just get fed up being the one who always has to come in when there's a fight! I liked transactions for that reason, but it's the least life-friendly type of work you can do.

Sorry to be ignorant - what's the earnings thread?

penguins, I've no advice but best of luck. Is there any market in legal journalism/legal advice for journalism? You might hate the very idea but it just occurred to me as something that should be flexible.

errol - dragons just coast along on the goodwill from Honeydragon, I think.

There is a thread in Chat (I think) about whether it matters to you how much your partner earns. Makes depressing reading.

Legal journalism is a pretty tight market these days sadly, like most journalism. I should look into it more though.

Sorry.

I should have figured. I only thought because I know someone who is in her 30s with children and who's just got into journalism as a career, so it was at the front of my mind. But her situation is different anyway.

Without looking, I have a horrible feeling I am that partner who doesn't earn enough. I've never had a proper job and I will be 30 this year. I've done bits of part time. DH works really hard and while he loves it sometimes, he would love to go back and do a master's (just for fun) or a PGCE. And if we ever manage to have babies he would like to stay home with them. It's a bit depressing realizing that, financially, even if I get a job, I'm not sure he could do that.

It's in relationships, LRD. Olathelawyer has even showed up for it...

And stop apologising, woman! You've set up your own pub, after all