The Feminist Pub - come in and chat.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This is something like the fourth pub chat thread - please pull up a chair at the bar. Everyone welcome.

Old thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1920422-The-Feminist-Pub-continued?

But it's pretty much full so welcome in.

Are you sure buffy about your hair colour? You see, I think some of my acquantainces (why can I never spell this stupid word) would question my opinion on that too. The fucking bastards. >

I need to kick them and ditch them, don't I?

Oh God I sound really grumpy.

Which is nice, because I fucking am. Harrumph.

That bloody coldcaller was lucky to get away with a smile and a shake of head. Next time it's a bucket of chicken blood on their heads. Harrumph.

Senior man had some sense.

I'm short, with long blonde hair and TBH I've never found it a problem. Not sure why... maybe being the only girl in my school A-level science classes but beating the lads gave me sufficient I can do this attitude? And probably a good deal of luck with my bosses.

Hello!

Love that Philip Guo thing, thanks for that.

also love hearing all the thoughts about career change and fresh starts. I am trying to pluck up the courage (and money) to do an OU module in something related to my current job. But more thinky. Tell me to do it!

Naughty thought: there is a thread right now where a (very nice sounding) bride to be is wondering if she IBU in wanting one of her bridesmaids not to dye her hair. It's long, I haven't read it all. I am tempted to print it and put it on my pinboard as a guide to posters I should listen to and those whom I can effortlessly discount in future ;)

Another one here about to hit an important age, child just in primary, no free childcare, DH who works long hours, and no clue what to do.

It's hard when career was well-paid and enjoyable but does not fit around my child's school times.

Trying to find something that I can be passionate about and doesn't require expensive re-training.

Perhaps an adult careers adviser?

Great idea, Buffy.

when I was a temp, a long time ago when there was a lot of temp work around, the agencies looked after their temps. You would go on a Friday lunchtime to collect your cheque and would be given a buffet lunch - in a doggy bag if you didn't have time to stay. One agency had wine and nibbles on Fridays. All of them had rooms with computers where you could do your CV and practise typing to get the all-important WPM up. And programmes to help you do this. And various other perks and gifts.

They were making money off us so they were doing all these things to keep us skilled and happy, and they were actually the things that they knew we needed.

It would be nice to form a similar loose association of working people based around the things that we all need: childcare, sensible people to chat problems over with, family-friendly meals put on at sensible times for those awful days where you have 20 minutes between 6 and 6.20 to feed the children before it all blows up in your face, etc. We all pay through the nose for childcare; what if nurseries added a sort of "care of the workers" angle to their operations; like... I suppose the parents' common room?

(yes this is crazy)

I suppose I am imagining it done as a cooperative, so you would do dinner for 15 children and 6 adults once a week, instead of dinner for 2 adults and 2 children every day

Anyway - such an organisation could invite clever professional bods in for talks / workshops (as well as having some in its ranks presumably)

I found this and it isn't quite as good as whar DuskandShiver suggested, but it may only be a London thing: www.womenlikeus.org.uk/home.aspx

sorry www.womenlikeus.org.uk/home.aspx

No, I smiled, but it is hard to type when you are wrestling a screeching 8 mo into a suit.

What I want to know is why is flexible working seen as such a dreadful thing. Surely if you apply it to everyone, it would be a good thing?

On the height thing, I have definitely experienced 'tall privilege' in my professional life. I've written about it before, but it is rather harder to look down on someone when you are physically looking up to them. An effect I enhanced with massive heels when I wanted to.

On the 'school hours' thing, I think that there is also an element of women trying to make all the accommodations. We think we have to manage to do drop off and pick up because ' my DH works long hours' (I have been guilty of this thinking too). But in fact, I doubt many men would deny themselves an interesting career because it meant their child spending a few hours in after school club.

On a linked note though, I was talking to someone the other day how school hours was quite a good deal for many employers. You can have an employee present every day for urgent issues/firefighting, but you are maybe only paying them 3/5 of full salary (or whatever the wages work out as) so you get a lot of bang for your buck. Doesn't work well for an employee with long travel times or high travel costs though.

Buffy - I wasn't around. But I laughed at your joke when I caught up with the thread.

Have wondered in the past why Mumsnet themselves haven't set up a sort of virtual assistant service - not just PA stuff, but a sort of 'rentaparent' sort of people per hour thing. Here are all these experience parents who are now stuck with only flex, part time hours available, but all brilliant, skilled, qualified, etc.

Instead of bidding for the business, there's a naice, sensible doling out of work.

I did an arts/soc sci degree and went into a female dominated, quite practical field (I'm a careers adviser). I had been with my now DH for 4 years when I completed my posrgrad and I consciously chose a field where flexible working is supported. I suppose it also helps that I have "niche" skills.
Perhaps naively, I see DH and I as a partnership, I support him and he supports me. He's currently staying in a job he dislikes as it means my cancer treatment is done privately.
Thanks for your good wishes btw, halfway through chemo, then boobs off, then radiotherapy, then new breasts (which I suspect is a feminist issue all of its own ).

I was talking to someone the other day how school hours was quite a good deal for many employers.

Yes, it can be. I'm probably the perfect case - I write scientific software. I was able to start working from home when DH's job moved (the internet arrived just in time to make it feasible), and then was able to drop to half time when DD started school. No commute time, apparently more productive than some (maybe because I don't have to waste so much time in meetings), good work-life balance but also if there's 'fire fighting' or a deadline I can work in the evening.

Come to think quite a lot of my current colleagues don't know how short and blonde I am...

If your role is one which can be done by telecommuting (and you can bear your own company well enough, the one downside is that it is IRL isolating) then make a case to try it.

Basket - report that post of yours so it goes in the MNHQ suggestion box!

Perhaps naively, I see DH and I as a partnership, I support him and he supports me.

That's not naïve, if you've got the right bloke, which it sounds like you do, its how it should be.

Windows and Linux only I'm afraid, buffy - macs are for arty types (and that would bore the socks off me anyway)

There's an organisation called TenToTwo that does some of the professional but part time career stuff.

I definitely have white British brunette advantage, maybe that helps me more than I realise?

Buffy, what do you need to do in the way of data analysis? I do lots of data stuff on my mac, but I write my own code :)

Good luck weebarra, sounds like a bit of a rollercoaster of a time.

Errol macs are linux under-the-hood. Most things you can do in linux you can do on a mac too :)