The Feminist Pub - come on in, chat, ask a quick question, ramble ... whatever you like!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Hello and welcome! Pull up a chair!

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Old thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1875250-The-Feminist-Pub-is-Open-Chat-Rant-or-pull-up-a-chair-here. But don't feel you need to read or catch up - just jump in.

I'm having a nice cup of earl grey but there is wine mulling as requested.

What can I get anyone?

Can I ask for help? Why is it ridiculous to say "I'm not sexist, some of my (best - if you are reading, Pacific) friends are women"? I mean, it sounds ridiculous, and this usually comes in the racist version. But why is it ridiculous? I'm not very articulate about it ... sorry ...

Because half the population are women. It's a low bar to set. You'd have to be a spectacularly virulent sexist to have no female friends.

It's the kind of thing my deeply homophobic father says about gay people: "I cannot be a homophobe because Bob who has been a dear friend of mine for decades is gay and we get on like a house on fire".

It's somehow rationalising that people you know who are gay/black/muslim/women are ok, but you would not tolerate equal rights/status/pay for them. Does that make sense?

My parents lived in the San Fransisco area some 30 years ago. I forget the exact numbers now, but say about 25% of the population were openly gay and about 5% members of the city council were gay. My DF was outraged that 'they' were allowed to participate in decisions such as school funding, playground planning, health care because 'they' just did not live like 'normal' people (don't get me started on the word 'normal' - I fucking hate it!). He is a very sociable man and loved the gay couple who were their neighbours (is still in touch with them), he supported a colleague who became ill with what later turned out to be an HIV related illness etc etc.

It's that kinda thing.

My take on the greatness of middle-aged invisibility: I can tootle around getting on with what I need to do, without being harangued half as much as I used to be. That includes dancing with my friends on occasional nights out, and eating in cafes on my own.

I can imagine that if I was a woman whose career depended on her being in the public eye, I might feel differently.

Oh, Puddlejumber, you could despair, couldn't you??

DH and I are both drs and still DS2 once told me that 'boys become drs and girls become nurses'.
I am not sure where I went wrong....

And btw, I personally know a female firefighter . Some of my best friends are firefighters I like a man who's good in a crisis

Marshmallows are the new cupcakes don't ya know? Never tasted them, but was reading an article about these people the other day.

Sorry about your problems Bertsie

Well, the first stage of my shitty week is over. Next stop Tuesday.

Oh, Bertsie, that is just what I am working on for the talk I plan to give. Moving countries can be truly crap at times.

4 kids and two doctors, wow Pacific, I am amazed you ever have time for the pub.

The Pub is what keeps me semi sane
And crap, you are paying attention - there really is a reason I try not to say things on here I wouldn't be happy to have in the public domain in RL...

Berstie, I relocated 20 years ago and am perfectly settled and happy here. And still, I sometimes have moments of... not exactly homesickness (thankfully, I have not been afflicted by that) but of a weird sense of 'not belonging' or disassociation?? I'll never truly understand the British class system and how it still quite pervasive or the attraction of porridge .
I hope your DP and you will find a way through this.
As an aside, I marvel at how immigrants who arrive from a totally different culture (not Western Europe), maybe not speaking the language well, with possibly little education or money, manage to keep going. I really do.

What's happing on Tuesday, Penguins? If you can say.
Anything we can do?

Penguins, Costa have started doing a marshmallow cupcake for Christmas. Covering old and new trends on one yummy go!

Oh, sorry, just realised I haven't talked about it on this thread. Wasn't meaning to be cryptic - there are a couple of threads elsewhere.

I am pregnant and I got a call earlier this week to say that my Down's risk had come back as 1/100. I went in today for an amnio (which was ok, but now feel really bruised and a bit shitty anyway from a cold I can't take decongestant for). Results on Tuesday.

I'm really not a big detective I promise - four kids is the only thing I remember about you really. I tend to remember people's kids at the moment because of the whole 'paralysing fear of dealing with three' thing.

Doctrine - I actually really rather dislike cupcake icing, but maybe if it is iced with marshmallow (like that Bake Off cake I've heard about)....I am very partial to fairy cakes with normal icing though.

It's regular icing with marshmallows stuck into it so that's not so good for you.

Fingers crossed for Tuesday

Ah, Penguins, sorry you are going through this. V best of luck for Tuesday. Been there, bought the t-shirt, never want to go there again

DH eats Betty Crocker icing out of the tub - should I LTB?? >

Nah, I just don't get buttercream. And I'll scoff almost every cake. I pick the icing off cupcakes and eat the cake.

Thanks. Fingers crossed indeed. I know 99% odds of a good outcome is pretty good so I'm keeping calm, but it's still not fun.

Thanks Pacific. Sorry to hear you've been through it too.

Yes, Betty Crocker out of the tub should be a leaving offence.

Right, sorry for the interruption. Everything is fine :) I was being a bit of a tit. If you don't mind I will debrief and maybe you can commiserate and offer me drinks

Do you need a ??

Glad you are ok

I am cutting up photocopied feminist leaflets with scissors. It is taking bloody ages.

Grennie, you need one of those guillotine (?sp) thingies

What's on your leaflet?

I know. I don't have one at home. And since I ran them off on my printer at work , which I shouldn't do, I couldn't really use the one at work.

It is advertising a meeting about a feminist campaign. Can't really give details without potentially outing myself, as it is a local thing.

Ah well, it's all in a good cause, you keep snipping.

I should be knitting, really, I should. Wrist warmers for my mum which are her Christmas present... for last year's Christmas . Oh dear .