Fucking hell, Nigella picture, WTF? [includes links to upsetting images]

[BoffinMum]

twitter.com/suttonnick/status/346017840106704898/photo/1

Tomorrow's Sunday People cover. Where do we even start with this?

The photos and a detailed description including statements from witnesses are in the Telegraph - and yet Scotland Yard said that no complaints have been made and no investigations are under way.

As well as being horrified by the photos and feeling the utmost sympathy for Nigelle, I'm at a loss to understand why no-one did anything about it when so many people witnessed it. I can (sort of...) understand why people felt they didn't want to intervene, but surely a phone call to the police while it was going on?

Just awful

Nigella's eyes say it all in the pictures. She's trying so hard to speak to him with her eyes, to plead with him. She is very passive seeming and resigned as people have said. It is very sad, because, by causing no fuss it's as though she is actually trying to protect him from what he is doing in public. Fear is in the pictures.

Yes! That is exactly what she is doing.

No she shouldn't be mortified. Again this is portraying that as the victim she is in the wrong.

No, that's not what it's about at all. Just because she might know, rationally, that she is not responsible for his actions doesn't mean that she won't feel mortification at the way her privacy has been invaded and her pain has been exposed for all to see. We don't know what is going on in this relationship but all we do know is that for her own reasons she isn't ready to leave it yet. And so she shouldn't have to have this crap to deal with as well. It is mortifying. that doesn't mean she should feel that she is to blame.

I don't think a single comment on this thread is victim blaming, I think some people are just looking for an argument.

No-one has seen those pictures and thought 'well clearly that situation is Nigella's fault'. No-one.

I haven't mentioned "victim blaming" but that's not the point anyway.

The point is when something like this happens the narrative shouldn't be around the paparazzi morals/ the reactions of the people who were present etc. - it should be about the disgraceful behaviour of the man who committed the crime.

Nigella is entitled to feel however she wants (mortified, embarrassed etc) but every time we make this narrative about the anything else other than the violence we're doing abused women a disservice.

This culture of "public virtues, private vices" has made TOO MANY casualties over the centuries - let's talk about HIM!

I'd be the first person to say that there could be many explanations for what exactly is going on there, but one thing I know is that no matter which one of those explanations is the truth, she looks distressed, and like she is desperately trying to diffuse a potentially very volatile situation. What more do we need to know?

'Both Hartenstein and Goldman refer to Saatchi's reclusiveness/shyness as a feint or "his shtick" affected to allow him to accept (or more often decline) invitations and social requests as he chooses. He is also a wife beating thug and deserves to havehis testicles chopped up and fed to him.'

I checked this on the Wiki history and it's true. Fantastic edit

I was married to an abusive man. He specialised in humiliating me publicly, and particularly liked to mouth off at me in restaurants. He'd tell me (loudly) all of my shortcomings, then stomp off, leaving me in tears.

Not once did anyone ask me if I was okay. They stared a bit as I tried to compose myself and paid the bill.

It's another level of abuse - it says 'you are such a piece of shit that I am doing this to you in front of everyone else, and nobody will care enough to intervene'.

Poppy I didn't say you had mentioned victim blaming. Some posters have.

This is a discussion forum. People will inevitably discuss all the areas around this. I don't think we all need to put 'disclaimer: he is a shit' after every post. I think we can safely assume, on mumsnet, in the feminism section that we ALL think a man strangling his wife is a shit.

Right, I have just called police on 101 and got transferred to The Met to make a complaint about this They say they have received many calls about the pictures and are now investigating the incident.

'I'd like to know what happened in the moments before.'

And why would that be?

I trust NOT because you assume there must be some provocation taht she afforded him?

There may not be victim blaming on this thread but there's plenty of excuses being offered for the violent man. It's sickening.

I hope that's true about Nigella leaving. I hope she's somewhere safe and she never looks back.

Why would you like to know what happened in the moments before?

On the New Statesman website there is a comment saying that Nigella could have been breaking the news that she has been having a ten year affair as if that excuses it and we could all get back to blaming the woman.

I'm amazed at the number of people who seem to not realise that abusive and violent men are very capable of being superficially incredibly lovey dovey. In these situations, public displays of affection, hand holding, the appearance of being inseparable etc are very much demonstrations of ownership. It's all power play.

And I'm sure I'm not the only one rather cynically aware that their relationship started when Nigella was at an incredibly vulnerable point in her life.

didn't john diamond publicly say he was making moves on her?

I had heard something like that aitch.

I find the pictures so disturbing. She looks both frightened and resigned to it at the same time.

There's no excuse, it's revolting.

ouryve
I'm amazed at the number of people who seem to not realise that abusive and violent men are very capable of being superficially incredibly lovey dovey

I don't think a single person has said anything that would make me think that! Please , i am happy to be corrected if I am wrong but I can't see a single post to support your statement.
( BTW I am not looking for an argument)

And that's the bloody New Statesman. Where another comment also dwells on the embarrassment to her. Can you imagine what the Mail's comment thread is like?

It is the Mail reporting that she (and her son) have left the house in a cab with a suitcase, by the way, for anyone who doesn't read it.

(sorry, to Arisbottle)

Poppy, that's so true. In DV the focus always seems to come round to the woman's behaviour rather than the man's. The man's sense of entitlement that this is OK to do in front of people in a restaurant and know he won't be stopped is sinister and indicative of the society we live in where DV is the woman's problem to sort out rather than men's (or anyone else's it would seem)

Men get sentences for murder reduced for provocation. Like "She was a bit of a nag". Oh well, that's alright then.

Actually the comments on the DM are very supportive of NL and the few iffy ones have hundreds of red arrows.