Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots.

I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.

Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!

I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?

[StealthPolarBear]

That my in laws talk about the "man next door who is selling his house". I feigned ignorance and expressed surprise that one man would live in such a big house on his own, at which point I was told he has a wife and family. Not sure what is happening to her half of the house exactly

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

People turning their cars around in my driveway annoy me. There's a pull in opposite my house. People pull in, back up my drive and them drive off.

And then people park in the pull in. So people practically drive down my driveway to turn round.

Fuck off people! It's my land! It's a gravel track. How the fuck does it look like a road?

I know it's not hurting me but for some reason I find it reeeaaally annoying.

[Blistory]

My van insurance - just renewed recently by phone - comes in post addressed to Mr Blistory. Ain't no such person.

Phoned up - their system only does vans and commercial vehicles and therefore defaults to Mr. Because apparently most women don't drive vans. I suspect most men don't either. It's not difficult to change the box but apparently I must have an easy life if things like that rile me.

No, it's the cumulation of things like that that rile me and add to the view that women are 'other' and somehow lesser than a man.

[chocoluvva]

Almost everything about football - it's acceptable to cheat, be violent, abusive, foul-mouthed, racist and to complain when the offending behaviour is dealt with - even though the 'punishments' are usually piffling.

The media coverage ignores women's football and is excessive anyway - does anyone actually need to see the crowd for an hour before the match and discuss it for an hour after?

It's a man's right to behave like a hooligan on match days. Apparently - boys will be boys, eh?

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

Ha ha wrong thread. Epic fail.

[weebarra]

The act of a father looking after his child being described as "baby-sitting" really annoys me.
Also my otherwise lovely SILs insist on making a big deal of the fact that my DS1 (5) likes pink and jewellery.

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

Also when asked what if I'm Miss or Mrs, I say neither OR Ms. But for some reason I always feel like I am being trivial or pedantic.

Why can't titles be optional? Why can't they just ask 'do you use a professional title?' so Doctors and Baronets can be covered but the rest of us go by our first name and surname? WHY IS IT SO HARD?

[Lastofthepodpeople]

I have a colleague who calls me 'young lady'. I'm in my thirties. Irritates the hell out of me.

[miffybun73]

People who say "hubby"

I don't know why, but I really can't stand it almost more than any other word and really judge people for saying it.

"Hun" is nearly as bad, but not quite

[AllSWornOut]

YY about men driving themselves to work then the woman leaping out and round into the driving seat. Or the even more annoying version - woman drives to work to pick up man and then leaps out of car so he can drive home

I always take "grow a pair" to mean balls/boobs depending on audience

Whenever I took my car to the dealership the salesman would always talk to my husband (he would drive over separately to give me a lift home). That's why I go to a local garage now with an owner who actually speaks to me.

The opposite of that was when we went to buy a new vacuum cleaner. DH does all the vacuuming and I tagged along to stop him spending hundreds on an all-singing, all-dancing super vac (I'm in charge of our finances). The sales woman started off giving me the spiel, until I told her she'd be better off directing her efforts at DH. To be fair she did then do it, but not without an, "Oh lucky you!" Why lucky? We both work full time so we split the household tasks equally depending on what we least hate doing.

[blondieminx]

GREAT thread!

I hate that most of the main characters on CBeebies are male.

It bugs the hell out of me that when I went to test drive a new car with DD to check her carseat (ERF), the dealer wanted to know when DH would be coming in. Put him straight on that one quite gleefully!

grimbletart me and DH do the man drives thing - in the morning I put my make up on in the car (would rather have the 10 mins in bed, ta) and in the evening I knock off any quick phone calls that need to be made! Time management and all that!

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

Ilove - no, just give us a sec, I'm sure we will find a way to blame the oppressive patriarchy for driveways!

[blondieminx]

Sorry AllsWornOut xpost, slow typing on phone!

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

SPB your approach amuses me hugely.

It's like when my parents talk about so-and-so in the news who must have a neglectful mother that they didn't know right from wrong.

Erm, I imagine said delinquent has two parents, right?!

[Startail]

That the women help our administrator clear the coffee cups and biscuit wrappers up after a meeting and the men never do.

[SingingSilver]

I hope it's okay to quote someone's posts from another thread, I'm not up on all the etiquette here yet, but someone on the 'who pays for a first date' thread said 'My boyfriend and I just take turns paying. I'll pay one month, he'll pay the next etc. Although, he likes to be the "man" so to speak so whenever I'm paying I give him the money to hand over :P'

I couldn't help but WTF? at that. I don't think anyone else picked up on it which is weird as they've picked over some fairly minor issues in my opinion. But in that case, if he wants to be the 'man' I'd let him put his hand in his own pocket every month...

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Malenky it's really true, you put in Ms into the system and it asks for your previous married name and will not take no for an answer.

It is really surprising in the UK actually this Miss/Ms/Mrs thing. When I started my career in Canada in the early 90s absolutely every adult female was Ms. No exceptions. They do it in Germany, every woman is Frau (which used to be missus) and never Fräulein (miss). Why can't we do that here?

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

This is very timely because I need to vent. Today we received an invitation to the wedding of a close family member addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. DH Firstname DH Surname." I have been married to DH for nearly 30 years. I kept my name; I have never used any part of his name. They know this. It pisses me right off. I sent back the little RSVP card and wrote out both our names in full on it. Was that petty? Hope not because it is already in the mailbox.

[SingingSilver]

• I'll cross post my comment in the appropriate thread actually so she has right of reply if she wants it.

[Startail]

That the women help our administrator clear the coffee cups and biscuit wrappers up after a meeting and the men never do.

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

hearts - Oh, I believe it's true, I'm just depressed by it.

Lufthansa put me down as 'Mrs' automatically and I couldn't change it - but at least it does that for everyone, which is less rude as you say.

My own bank told me it was illegal for me not to change my name when I got married.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

HeartsTrumpDiamonds
Ms. is the default in the US, too, and has been for a long time.

[Startail]

It is sexist to assume MN tec is male, our university computer technician wasn't.

However, what ever gender you are please fix the site it keeps crashing, hence posting twice.

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

Indeed.

Tech, whether you're Ms, Mrs, Miss, Mr, Dr, Rev or Lord, could ya please help?!

[AllSWornOut]

Ah well blondieminx I shall have to un-hoik my judgey-pants then :)

I've just thought of another. We've just changed banks and I didn't spot that the bank manager put our joint account in DH name-My name order despite me being the one leading the discussion and it being my contract details that we gave as the main point of contract. So now all the mail come to my email address but starting "Mr DH NAME". Irritates me every time and it's only been a fortnight.