I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots. 
I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.
Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!
I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. 
Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 11/06/2013 17:08
The Birdseye ad I just saw on telly. Girl keeps asking boy out and he avoids her, eventually she gets him to agree by tempting him with breaded chicken 
I'm going to be controversial 
I have to say it really annoys me when women feel the need to apologise for having taken their husband's name on marriage. The spirit of feminism is that we have that choice to make and shouldn't be judged for that choice. Sometimes it feels like the name issue is basically code:
Took your husband's name? You're an outdated conservative who just wants to have kids, stay home, and bake pie!
Kept your maiden name? You're a bra-burning feminist who deep down really hates men!
I'm being OTT, but it does feel sometimes that you can't take either choice without judgement.
Personally I took my DH's name because I was thrilled to be married and I liked feeling like we were a unit - a new force against the world! 
Plus, it's a heck of a lot easier to spell than my maiden name 
I don't give a toss if someone wants to change their name, loads of my mates have.
However I disagree that it's the 'spirit of feminism' that we just make the choice without analysis. It is telling that it's almost always women who change their names. It's not like it matters on an individual level, but on a group level, yes, I do find it telling and I do think about what that means.
I come at this from the opposite perspective, though - I can't comment on it at all in RL since virtually none of my mates didn't change their names and apparently drawing attention to the fact I did (eg., by correcting people who get it wrong) is rude and judgy.
diana - ggrrr, the steak thing gets me too. But I never thought about it as anything except annoying til you pointed it out! 
My brother's expecting his first child in October. Apparently this means I didn't need to give DD my surname after all, because he's ensuring the family surname continues into the next generation.
Ha! Because of course Stormy, that would have been your first thought in the decision making process!
Thanks for saying that.
It does often feel as if I'm making people feel uncomfortable for saying it, though. Of my mates who changed their names, about half never had any intention of keeping maiden names and they're all fine with it. The others ended up bowing to pressure or just changing their minds, and they're a bit less ok with it. To be fair it's not as overt as 'you're attacking my choice' but there is a fair bit of 'well I thought I wouldn't change my name but I came to my senses' or 'why are you being so picky' stuff.
(But I do appreciate the friendly annoyance-on-my-behalf! )
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.