Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots.

I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.

Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!

I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?

[fuzzpig]

I feel at home on this thread! Will be back to read properly after work :)

[Tweet2tweet]

Another one to add, having just experienced it. If you happen to have a family with just girls and people say that's the end of daddy's blood line then. Agggghh so annoying- are girls somehow not related??! Almost like not having a boy is the end of something, what rubbish IMO.

[grimbletart]

I think this bank thing has got worse in recent years. I've been with the same bank for over 30 years - Abbey, now Santander. My husband switched to it for our joint account and we have always received everything as Mrs Grimble and Mr Grimble.

[ThinkAboutItTomorrow]

Mikki - your point upthread about who organizes childcare drives me crackers! We both work full time and sometimes are away late or overnight. Even if I've 'booked' the night as one I am away weeks in advance and something comes up for DP it's me who has to arrange overnight childcare. Grrr.

The other one is just how easily so many couples drift into gender stereotype roles. So many of my friends both lived alone for YEARS before getting together but the way they (often both) carry on, you'd think the guy had never used a domestic appliance. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

[grimbletart]

Another thing I've noticed when we were buying cars is that whereas years go it was my husband they directed comments at it is now equal. I think it is one of the benefits of age as a female - post menopausal means you are now a batty old gimmer who is quite likely to chew them up and spit them out if they don't treat you equally with your OH. Too right I am!

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I wonder if women changing their names has got more common again, grimble? I know quite a lot of women in their 30s who didn't, but all bar one of my mates who're in their 20s have.

[EleanorFarjeon]

My male colleagues who swear and then apologise to me because I'm a woman. FFS!

[WuzzleMonkey]

Oh yes re: paying for meals.

When they bring the card machine over in a restaurant, put the card in and automatically hand it to DH to deal with. Even though it's my card.

I do the swapping drivers thing though - nothing to do with my gender, I just can't stand driving and will get away with doing it as little as I can (this extends to walking miles rather than getting in a car if I can get away with it - not a gender thing at all).

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I have a very trivial one-woman social experiment going on with that, wuzzle. At restaurants I always put my card down (which if you read it, makes it clear I'm female), and I always ask for the bill. If they hand the machine to DH automatically, they don't get a tip. (Well, ish, unless they've been absolutely amazing otherwise).

[grumpyinthemorning]

The babysitting thing gets me. Now, at the beginning of this relationship it was, because DS isn't DPs child. But now we're getting married. It's just parenting!

Getting the rage about changing my name when we marry, everyone insists I should, on both sides of the family. They say it's not a big deal. Then why can't I keep my own bloody name? It's been my name for 20-odd years!

[HullMum]

my daughter watches a show called "dinosaur" train. it teaches children all about all the different kinds if dinosaurs,what era they were around, how they raised their young and what they ate.

all very educational.

all the female dinosaurs have have long eyelashes the male dinosaurs just look like,you know, dinosaurs.

[HullMum]

actually I want to add all cartoons that give "bosoms" to an animal that shouldn't have one. or should have 3sets of them.

[rednellie]

I didn't want to change my name but did as DH has an Arabic name and gets stopped every time we go through customs. I wanted to be able to say we were married without having to take our marriage cert everywhere. But now I'm wondering whether to change it back as I really don't like not being me...

We've had the bank/bills all being in Dh's name despite me setting some of them up. Also when we lived in Canada our medical policy was thro DH''s work which meant I 'wasn't allowed' to deal with any issues to do with our health. It all had to go thro him.

[Imgonnachange]

When my mum talks about my cousin and his wife's house and kids it's always his wife's domain despite the fact that the house and kids are 50% his. Boiled piss much.

[grimbletart]

I did change my name on marriage because I liked DH's better - how shallow is that? Luckily it was just before Women's Lib took off so I have never been harangued about it.

[AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom]

The word mumpreneur. Surely they are just an entrepreneur? Also WAHM.

[HullMum]

graduated what's wrong with assuming you have same name as kids? why wouldn't you have given your name to the children?

[fuzzpig]

Hugely trivial compared to most things on here but:
Saw a peppa pig backpack today with the words Peppa (fair enough) Perfect, Polite, Pink and Pretty

Wonder if there's a George equivalent with handsome on it...

[Imgonnachange]

On Friday I'm getting a train to a nearby city to go clothes shopping for myself and to price up some furniture. I'm doing this alone.

My mum sounded flabergasted that I was considering this. Apparently I need to be careful getting the train by myself -because I obviously don't travel all over the world alone for work and make sure I remember my tape measure for the furniture because this isn't obvious to a 28 year old educated woman--

[HullMum]

mumpraneur is a vile word. It's so patronising. I actually have got a business from home but I really do get people expecting every thing to be the price of materials as I'm only doing it to "keep myself busy" anyway. No it's a business from home and I am very good at what I do. so you need to pay for my time

[Imgonnachange]

My mum sounded flabergasted that I was considering this. Apparently I need to be careful getting the train by myself because I obviously don't travel all over the world alone for work and make sure I remember my tape measure for the furniture because this isn't obvious to a 28 year old educated woman

...crossing out failure! Obviously because I'm a woman and not very tech savvy

[Imgonnachange]

Gaaah I give up.

[weebarra]

I've got another one. I really like football. I've had a season ticket for my team for 20 years and while having children has curtailed my attendance, I still make it to games. While DH looks after our children.
Yes, I do understand the offside rule. No, I don't go to look at men's legs. And stop mansplaining.

[BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy]

The passe dismissal of problem periods by HCP. Let's face it,if a man was housebound and severely inconvienienced by a bodily function for five days regularly they would not be told that they were just unlucky or offered a solution that they have previously had awful side effects from with a shrug of the shoulders.

[ExasperatedSigh]

blondieminx some of my Cbeebies pet hates are that Kip the very feminine sounding cat never joins Andy on his wild adventures because she/it is too scared and that in the theme song to Tilly & Friends, Hector's name comes first despite the show being called Tilly & Friends.

I could never say this to people in RL as their eyes would roll right out of their heads, but it pisses me off.