Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Feminism for Dummies.

209 replies

Ilovemyself · 20/05/2013 20:45

Ok. Here goes.

Apologies if I have offended anyone with my posts since I started using the site. I certainly didn't mean to.

I am all for equality, be it based on sex, race, sexuality, or whatever subculture you area member of.

I have been surprised at the level of vitriol aimed at me because of my (rather poorly worded )comments.

I understand that in every fight for equality there will be those for who the fight is an ever consuming thing. And there will also be those who have been down trodden for so long they will snap at the slightest thing against them. And that there will be those who feel that because they have been oppressed for so long it is their right to be in a dominant position.

For those that want to tip the balance in the opposite direction, I will always disagree. Equality is what we should aim for in all walks of life. These are those who I referred to when I said taking things too far - for promoting something other than equality.

But for the other groups, should I walk on eggshells for fear of offending them, or should say my piece, apologise if I offend, and carry on.

Or am I completely wrong in viewing feminism as a fight for equality when it is actually a fight for women to be in a dominant position over men.

I hope I get some answers here - I certainly don't want a repeat of the last 24 hours. Thanks all.

OP posts:
CoalDustWoman · 26/05/2013 20:03

There are some great threads about this many pages back. Let me see if I can find them.

CoalDustWoman · 26/05/2013 20:16

I got a bit sucked into reading some brilliant threads there. Sorry. Blimey, FWR was outstanding once upon a time.

This one's an interesting read

MillyR was fascinating on the evolutionary stuff.

BasilBabyEater · 26/05/2013 21:13

Arsenal once again you are ignoring the fact that for most of recorded history, women had no choice over who they were raped by had to have sex with.

Their sexual partners were chosen by the men who owned them.

Gatekeeping in the modern age, comes about because women are not supposed to like sex and are supposed to use it to bargain, not to have it for its own sake. It has nothing to do with evolution, it's purely cultural.

What I love about evo-bollocks is that OTOH people who go in for it argue that women are gatekeepers of sex because of evolution and OTOH rape is natural.

grimbletart · 26/05/2013 22:40

And Arsenal can still not explain what a "womanly woman" is Wink

CoalDustWoman · 26/05/2013 22:44

grimbletat=rt, I think that's laid down in law. A woman is what you feel. But that's another thread...

arsenaltilidie · 26/05/2013 23:50

Basil lets get this clear gate keeper is the one who choses whom they have sex with.
Gatekeeping in the modern age, comes about because women are not supposed to like sex and are supposed to use it to bargain, not to have it for its own sake. It has nothing to do with evolution, it's purely cultural.

You sort of contradict yourself, women were raped a lot but its modern BS to say women are gatekeepers.. Why would they be a high nimber of rapes if women weren't very selective.
Oh you will blame it on men again.

My answer is women are choosy with whom they have sex with, that is why they are the gate keepers.
An Average woman will be very selective with whom she has sex with even if no one was to find out about it (incase she fears about her reputation)

PS: yes a high percentage of women were raped but what evidence do you have that supports women didn't have a choice.

It's very easy to blame someone than to look at the clear evidence. It's easy to blame society than to actually look and study what are the causes and move forward.

I support feminism in that women should have a choice in life, but I call it BS when blaming men for everything.

arsenaltilidie · 26/05/2013 23:59

grimble Probably a 'manly man' is a man who doesn't use skin products.
If you use skin products you are probably a 'womanly woman'
If not, God help you :)

CoalDustWoman · 27/05/2013 00:04

This is an unfair fight. And he thinks he's being original.

When I was looking through the archives earlier, there was the same old shit coming back time and time again. Is it the same person stuck in a loop? Or just loads of men who settle on here with an aim if setting the ladies straight. Which kinda proves the point...

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 27/05/2013 00:08

Arsenal, you just posted "why would there be a high number of rapes if women weren't very selective? Oh you will blame it on men again."

Did you mean that to sound the way it does?

CoalDustWoman · 27/05/2013 00:13

I puzzled at that too, DofS.

I gave him the benefit of incoherence.

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 00:40

Using my phone.. Anyway my point i meant its NOT easier for men to 'mate' hence the desperate rape..

If women went choosy (rightly) there would be less rape because men wouldn't be desperate to 'mate'

Now if you want to twist my statement and pretend you dot understand what I mean then so be it.

CoalDustWoman · 27/05/2013 00:46

Oh, it was what I thought you meant, then gave you the benefit of the doubt.

I'm too nice.

If men are evolutionarily programmed to rape if they aren't getting it willingly, then I think women should be armed to keep themselves safe. Fair?

You are much nastier about men than feminists are, by the way.

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 00:47

Coal most people ask the same/similar question.

Honestly what originality can i bring about evolution theory What can I or anyone here for that matter say that hasn't been said before.
Do differing opinions ever change on an online debate.
Just a debate I'm not preaching to anyone.

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 00:49

Now if you want to twist my statement and pretend you dot understand what I mean then so be it.
:)
Nice

CoalDustWoman · 27/05/2013 00:49

Do you think rape is natural, then?

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 01:09

Don't be stupid
NASTY men will rape other men in prison even if they wouldn't dream about having sex with men on the outside.

Does it mean all men are rapist..

It's quite amusing singing someone trying to twist my words.
Not about the debate anymore than to get one upmanship on the other Hmm

CoalDustWoman · 27/05/2013 01:21

Hang on, you didn't say "nasty" men, you said men who were desperate to mate would rape.

You're not very clear. I'm very clear. I have never said all men are rapists, nor will I ever say that. Because I don't think that. I'm not so sure about you, though.

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 01:57

You are much nastier about men than feminists are, by the way.
I guess all feminist are nasty then...
Of course I know what you mean ie some Feminist are nasty about men.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 27/05/2013 07:36

Arsenal, do you think that rapists rape because they are desperate to have sex and have asked a few women nicely, only to be turned down?

No-one is twisting your words, we are asking clarifying questions about your posts.

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 11:47

Read my post at 0109.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 27/05/2013 11:59

I have read all your posts. Since they each go off at a bit of a tangent from each other, I am seeking to clarify. It would have been quicker for you to write yes or no to my post, I'd've thought.

However, I'll try again.

Do you think nasty men rape?
Or desperate men?
Or perhaps only men who are both desperate and nasty?

BasilBabyEater · 27/05/2013 11:59

It's actually impossible to have a coherent conversation with this bloke. Hmm

Firstly, we know that society was organised so that men owned women and told them what to do. Their fathers or other male relatives or elders of the tribe or village, told them who they were going to marry. Still do in many parts of the world.

Secondly, you clearly know nothing about rape so do yourself a favour and stop talking about it, it's excruciating reading this shit.

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 14:31

Do you honestly think I'm some rape apologists, the type to say 'they were asking for it' Hmm
Yes rapist are Nasty men,
PROBABLY desperate, but I don't know.
I know Good men wont resort to rape.
What don't you understand??

Basil I asked for evidence if women didn't have a choice in who they 'mate' with but you still fail to show evidence.
Yes their fathers may have had a say in it but what evidence do you have that shows they didn't have a choice.
An example is some sections of the Kurdish community, women aren't exactly told who they should marry but they will be grave consequences if they marry the 'wrong kind'. Yes it is wrong but does it mean they are forced or the women have no choice. Probably women's choices were limited to tribal men, but they would still choose the same high testosterone male.

My point is, yes Im repeating, women are attracted to high levels of testosterone because of evolution.
No piece of evidence that I know of supports 'women are conditioned' to like certain men.

I would happily say im wrong and I'm talking out of my arse if I'm proved wrong.
What I see here so far is attempts to discredit what I'm writing. Attempts to make me as some person that I'm not. Attempts to say I'm some kind of misogynist, the latest attempt is to label me as some kind of rape apologists.
But absolutely no evidence to prove me wrong.

BasilBabyEater · 27/05/2013 14:47

Who has called you a rape apologist?

I've just said you were talking shite about rape. Whcih you were.

Thank goodness you've stopped. Hmm

arsenaltilidie · 27/05/2013 15:10

Yet again you fail to provide evidence.

Swipe left for the next trending thread