Sorry if someone was made to feel unwelcome

[GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt]

I refer to a complaint made to Rowan on the 'sleeping with the enemies' thread - it was made by a gay woman who felt that she was being made to feel unwelcome.

I don't know exactly what the complaint was but I assume it is to do with the lesbophobia terminology used.

I am really sorry if that has upset someone - it is not a word intended as an insult. I only used it in context of an argument about vile thread a few months back. In that thread a MNer (who happened to be gay) stated some very distasteful and triggering views, and a good number of MNers complained about it and rebuked her on the thread. Another MNer (call her X) said that this was a mark of 'lesbophobia' (her words) and that a lot of MNers were homophobic.

This was strongly contested by lots of people - I am not homophibic in the least, and neither are most of us on here, there are plently of long standing gay women on MN, and some were raised in families with gay women, so for a great sweeping statement of 'you lot are lesbophobic' was bloody out of order.

Hence the reference to it on that thread. I am sorry that it was upsetting, it is certainly not a word I use and I only used it in the context of the above. I can see that at best it looks like ignorant flippancy and at worst looks insulting. So please accept my apologies.

Rowan - if you want to delete this thread as you don't want another bunfight please can you forward my apology to the MNer mentioned by you (I am going to report this post but I think this is the best way to communicate directly with MNHQ). Thanks

sorry - not the last few posts, I mean the alleged rampant lesbophobia that doesn't seem to have any examples to hand.

Who cares?

Who gives a flying fuck about manana or minge?

No one.

The only people that do are those throwing the accusations around.

There are also the people who really get off on their own right on-ness, if you see what I mean. People who force members of minority groups to be their friends, whether they want to be or not. Not sure if this is discrimination, or [insert group of choice]ophobia, but it must be incredibly irritating.

Almost as irritating as " you're all so incredibly xist or xophobic, but if you can't see how that's your problem- not up to me to explain." Almost.

Also imagine how frustrating it must be to be like y'know GAY...and no one gives a shit?

How is anyone supposed to nurse a grievance and feel a bit spesh and victimised?

I know it matters "out there" Hothead, but not "in here"

Oh, that's dodgy hothead.

I think that's actualy really bad ... not just women who have kids on their own, but it's reinforcing that idea that if you are unfortunate enough to have children with someone who turns out to be abusive, or a misogynist, you've somehow failed as a parent unless you reform them.

Is she going to say something now? She still could, maybe?

"Loving r'ship" of whatever kind?

Hully, is mañana a word for penis?

HotHead - that is a tricky one though. I think most of us, gay or straight, would want our children to think of having sex or babies in the context of a loving relationship. I think that AT school that is the right direction to take. Obviously at home, we add our own slant to that.

yes - it's my new fave word from a thread the other day = man banana

I cannot agree with you, EBAL.

It is pretty insulting to the majority of MNetters, to make such a bald and uncompromising statement and then refuse to back it up with facts.

I think they should tell kids the truth at school. I think they do the loving r'ship stuff to stop them having casual sex and stop the girls feeling pressured etc etc and teen pregs.

But kids live in the real world, they see the reality, discuss it with them. Honesty is much more likely to lead to trust and sensible decisions.

Hmm I dunno Porto, there must be quite a few kids in the class with separated parents, I think it would be a fine line to tread.

But porto, what if there is a child in that class whose parents are divorcing? That must be pretty common. And even the most amicable divorce isn't going to feel like fun, and is probably going to raise questions of 'but don't you love each other, and if not, where does that leave me'.

Let alone if you've got children in that class who know that their parents split up for really unpleasant reasons, or who were never together.

What message DO you give kids though - in an educational setting?

WHAT'S LOVE BUT A SECOND HAND EMOTIONNNN?

That inevitable?

I wonder if it'll become increasingly common for people to have babies on their own, too. I know two women who are good mates of mine, who're both considering this idea pretty seriously, and we all know two more people who've done it.

You alright there hully?!

bit of Tina there