In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

[blackcurrants]

A thread for "I can't believe that just happened to me! In this day and age!"

Yesterday we spent about 40 minutes in a Toyota dealership, looking to spend about $10k on a used car. The salesman only asked DH's name, only wrote down DH's number, and only talked to DH about the cars available. DH kept referring to me, asking my opinion, and generally looking uncomfortable. Eventually DH snatched back his license from the salesman and said "No, I don't think so. Let's go." And as I turned I added "Joe? Thank you for your help today. I work in sales and I wanted you to know that since I walked in here you haven't asked me a single question, or addressed me directly even once. At one point you walked away from me, talking to my husband about the next car you were showing us, so that I couldn't hear what you said. I just want you to know that I earn more than my husband (actually not yet true, but soon will be!), I know more about cars than my husband (v.true), and you acted like I didn't exist. Which is why we're leaving."

When I got into our car, DH was cheering. We drove 5 miles away and bought a nissan.

As we were doing the dishes last night, talking about this, DH said "I do hope you tell Mumsnet about it." he knows me so well.

Do calm down, Uppercut, dear. I was only asking.

I found it odd that they keep referring to them as female police officers. If they had been men would they have said male police officers?

Working as a store manager in a games shop. Irate customer not happy with something.

"I want to speak to the manager"

"I am the manager"

"No, I want to speak to a man!"

Don't get more blatant than that

How do you respond pfft? I'd be tempted to say fine and find the guy who is least likely to have a clue for them.

Although being honest you work in a games shop, it may be nothing to do with sexism and everything to do with the fact that some of the men you meet have never been in such close proximity to non-pixelated breast before.

Greythorne, those PC's were also referred to as 'young girls' by an official from the Police Federation. They were 32 and 23 and police officers, ffs :(

Young girls! Well in that case why let them out to deal with crime ffs. They were discussing the younger ones marriage plans and how she was worrying about making invitations on-line..

good point, Depth

He seemed pretty angry at me. I don't know if he was just angry because I wasn't going to give him a refund, or angry because I was a woman :s

You get that sort of stuff a lot, in that sort of work. Eventually, you just end up saying "I am the manager" on repeat, and letting the crap flow over your head. Because when someone is the customer, head office don't really take kindly to teaching them a lesson in the name of battling sexism :/

Still, when someone says something like that, you do tend to think "well, you're not getting a refund NOW, you shit"

I've done 2 extensions now, and interveiwed about 3 builders each time. The ones who got to quote are the ones who talked to me not to my clueless and disinterested dh.

Blackcurrants - when we went to look at a volvo showroom, the salesman would not talk to me. I asked questions, and he would leave such a long time before he spoke, to make it clear that he was not replying to my question, just musing on a 'related' subject. DH's questions were answered straight away.

Sexism exists in the primary classroom too My DD1 came home today, she has been learning about fire safety at school.

She told me they had to identify hazards on a large drawing of a house layout. "Mummies have to always stay in the kitchen when they are cooking tea so the oven doesn't set on fire, MRS 'ddsTeacher' said so" ............. So not only do daddies apparently never cook, there wasn't even the option to put a daddy model on that part of the house drawing...

But when I bought my last car, my ex P was present yet the salesman only spoke to me. I guess it is my demeanour (sp?! tired) or something, but he knew I was the more knowledgeable one (and the final decision maker). No point in taking cloak-and-dagger offence at the ignorant people who perpetuate sexism: if it affects you, politely challenge it there and then. And tell them in no uncertain terms that their ingrained behaviour towards a female equal has lost them a sale. Might not change anything there and then, but it puts the concept firmly into their twattish mind for the future

This:

9gag.com/gag/37786

Yikes spaniel that's awful.

on the Asda/tesco? bog rolls it says something like "90% of mums say it is as good as the leading brand" Dont dad's and non parents wipe their arse?

Also those free books in the bookstart packs, the touchy feely "thats not my..." series, they have "thats not my baby" in two versions, a pink one with girl babies in and a blue one with boy babies in!

Greythorne Tue 18-Sep-12 18:05:43
Sadly, the description of one of the police officers brutally murdered today. Can you imagine a male PC being described as "a real chatterbox" as one of these women was?

Talk about undermining her, defining her with "female" attributes. How about lively, articulate, a good communicator? But now, she's a woman, so a chatterbox.

whats wrong with female attributes? why is it undermining being defined by female attributes?

I doubt that after someone had just died whoever was being interviewed was going through a list of synonyms, just describing the woman as they felt she was.

My carer is male.

We booked into a hotel that I'd booked, in my name.

After I was in bed he went to the bar for a drink and was addressed as "Mr Sashh".

If the car is for you, then why not go and buy it on your own? If you chose to take your DP with you, then when first encountering the salesperson, why didn't YOU open the conversation with, 'I am interested in......." If the salesperson then continues addressing the conversation to your DP, then yes, I can understand your feeling insulted and walking away.

As for the parcel, as another poster said, it would have been easy to just say that you were Doctor Smith.

lastmango - But Uppercut - what's really the point of your contribution to this thread? Are you trying to say that if women aren't extra vigilant all the time to second guess and compensate for other people's stupidity then they've got only themselves to blame for sexist slights, insults, etc?

We are all continually challenging stereotypes. If we do this rudely, then the people that chose to fight sexist comments are in danger of being stereotyped.

I think the answering the door thing is not necessarily sexist, just what people are expecting.

I answered my door in a shared flat to a delivery and the driver was a bit because the deliver was for my chinese housemate who had a very Chinese sounding name.

Sashh - exactly. Unexpected situations happen on a daily basis. How we deal with them is what is important.

When I was looking to buy a mountain bike - I know that the difference between men's and women's bikes is diddly squat but related to average height differences. I am the height of an average male and they were trying to fit me on small women's bikes. And they ignored me and talked to my then bf.

To Emmeline, Uppercut and LastMango about the delivery driver for my friend Dr Smith: I wasn't actually there. I was guessing the exact words both of them used. But my friend reported the story to me along the lines of "A delivery driver came to my door with a parcel for me, but he got all confused because he assumed that Dr Smith was DH, but it's actually me of course, ha ha". But I thought it would read better on this thread if I guessed how the conversation might have gone! So please don't get tied up in knots about whether or not she said "I'm Dr Smith" at any point!

Got another one, just last night: talking to woman from a market research company on the phone. She was asking me various questions like my age etc. I had mentioned that I had a DH (in the context of whether I own my home jointly or solely).

She asked "What's the occupation of the main wage earner in your household?". I answered "Civil servant". She said "And does he manage any staff?". I said "Er, that's me that's the main wage earner...".

I suppose I could have answered "civil servant, and by the way that's me, not my husband", but I didn't think that was necessary. Apparently it was.

Btw for the blames - I introduced myself and said that I would be buying the bike for me. They still talked to my partner.

Blamers