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Original poster

What is wrong with a boy playing with a doll?

96 replies

AugustMoon · 21/08/2012 23:36

DS (9) today saw an ad for 'girls'' lego and was quite vocal in his objections to girls playing with something that is meant for boys (where am I going wrong?!) - argument being that boys should have something that is just theirs.
This led me to voice my opinions on the matter and to mention that I would consider buying a doll for DS3 (4wks) which didn't go down well, to say the least, with my all-male household. Main reasons being that his brothers would 'take the piss', that he obviously wouldn't want a doll and would tell us as much if he could and that it's not 'normal'.
My main concern is WHY do they think it's so wrong? Where's the harm in it - or rather, what harm do they think it will do?

OP posts:
Original poster
AugustMoon · 21/08/2012 23:42

Oh, another reason given was that boys don't have maternal instincts!

OP posts:
LastMangoInParis · 21/08/2012 23:50

Erm, Action Men are dolls, aren't they?

Alameda · 21/08/2012 23:51

because they will catch The Gay, I think?

madwomanintheattic · 21/08/2012 23:56

Yar yar. They deffo catch gay.

It can be fatal.

Bunch of horse, but masculinity has just as many shote stereotypes as femininity. With an added fear of dropping dead if you get too closely in touch with girl's stuff.

Ask dh if he caught gay from the babies.

SPsFanjoSponsoredByFemFresh · 22/08/2012 00:00

Because they will end up all gay.

It's a well know fact. Grin

Where do you think gay men come from, obviously their mother's or fathers allowed them to touch a doll.

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 22/08/2012 00:09

www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&client=safari&q=lego+image+girl+old+ad&oq=lego+image+girl+old+ad&gs_l=mobile-gws-serp.3...18520.21883.0.22471.9.7.2.0.0.0.298.1116.1j5j1.7.0...0.0...1ac.ho4wQ_r6ihk&mvs=0#miuv=0

Show him the above picture. In 1970 Lego was meant for children - not boys not girls - children. Has Lego changed? Is it still coloured plastic bricks? So - what has changed? Marketing . And he's too smart to be fooled by marketing, you're sure...

VegansTasteBetter · 22/08/2012 02:02

Lego was always unisex, and a personal favorite of mine. Did any your othe er boys have dolls? If not, why the change of heart? if your husband pushed your babies around in a pram or fed them surely ds can play with dolls as it's just replicating adult behavior

IvanaNap · 22/08/2012 02:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn as this poster has privacy concerns.

HerRoyalNotness · 22/08/2012 02:43

Both of my boys have a doll, a baby type one. and DS2 has a doll stroller!

Because you know, men become dad's. Always my stock answer

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 03:23

Nothing wrong with it. Pisses me off.
DS has dolls - he has Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Jess - they are dolls. DH has dolls too - they are plastic He man figures. I am not allowed to call them "dolls", they are "action figures". Yeah? They're still dolls.

Some time ago I asked DH what he would do if DS wanted a pushchair - he got arsey. I asked him if he was embarrassed to push DS in his own pushchair - he said "No, of course not!" I asked him if he thought it was "unmanly" and he said "No!" so wtaf was wrong with DS wanting to be like Daddy and push a pushchair? That caused him a near mental shortcircuit while he dealt with his inner prejudices - but finally he conceded that DS could have a pushchair if he wanted "so long as it wasn't all pink and girly".

I bought DS a dolls' house. It's way too pink for my liking, so we're redecorating it. I think DH has Learnt the Lesson, cos he hasn't made any adverse comments about it so far... and DS is looking forward to Batman and Spiderman living there Grin (which are ALSO DOLLS, by the way!)

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 22/08/2012 03:28

DS (2) loves the push chair at play school (although he does always choose the blue one over the pink one so think i lose points for that), and pushing the dolls around in it. He also sits his teddies around the table and gives them tea, which is the same thing as playing with dolls really.

Agree lego is unisex. God knows why they started bringing out girl's sets. I really hope it's not a response to market research that shows the majority of parents perceive it as a boy's product and dont buy it for girls, although I fear it probably is. I had lego, duplo and a Brio train set as a kid and I'm nearly 40 (pins feminism stripes on mother).

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 04:03

I had Lego and meccano, and a clockwork trainset - not sure if Brio was around when I was a little girl (am older'n you) but Dad had loads of O gauge clockwork stuff so that was what I had. Dad wasn't into forced gender stereotyping as far as toys were concerned - I had an action man as well! My brother had a little baby doll when he was about 3 or 4; but by the time he was a few years older, he'd decided to pull all its arms and legs off (niiiice Hmm), probably as a peer-based response to it.

peggyblackett · 22/08/2012 04:58

My ds has a doll. Admittedly it is a boy doll from Ikea, so not particularly pink and girly, but a doll all the same. He also has a kitchen, an ironing board, a pink Barbie iron, a mop and bucket....He loves toys that are marketed primarily at girls, because that's what he sees DH and I spend all our time doing, and he wants to copy.

To answer your ds, there is nothing wrong with boys playing with dolls.

Springforward · 22/08/2012 05:42

Nothing. DS has a doll and pram.

TiggyD · 22/08/2012 10:09

"but finally he conceded that DS could have a pushchair if he wanted "so long as it wasn't all pink and girly"".

I'm now imagining a company making a push chair with camouflage print, skull and cross bones, and rocket launchers to get that boy market.

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 10:11

Grin - you can actually buy blue ones, like you can get baby boy dolls, and you can get gender neutral ones as well. The market has already been "sorted" (although I quite like the skull & crossbones thing!)

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/08/2012 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

summerflower · 22/08/2012 11:35

"but finally he conceded that DS could have a pushchair if he wanted "so long as it wasn't all pink and girly"".

DS (20 months) has a pushchair, it is a McLaren toy one which is nearly 40 years old and used to belong to my sisters and I - I remember us using it. It is blue and white striped with a grey frame (I need to ask my mum if she deliberately avoided pink or whether the pink marketing had not taken hold at that point, I suspect the latter).

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 11:49

My toy one, 40+ years old, was white with a dark red hood. My sister's one had a blue pattern too. I think there was actually less emphasis on the pinking of everything back then, not more, so I think you're right, summerflower.

I wonder when the uber-pinking of all things girly started?

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 22/08/2012 12:15

My pushchair was red and blue and white check, I think, and me and DBro shared it.

CornishMade · 22/08/2012 12:16

"boys don't have maternal instincts"

But they have paternal instincts!! Honestly.

As HerRoyal said, boys/men become dads... They have caring instincts. Or do we not want them to learn to care for others?
My ds (3) got a pushchair at the age of one as he loved pushing one around at playgroup. And although we never bought a doll he often plays with his bears as if they are babies. He still does now, with the pushchair etc - he'll pack up their toy picnic lunch and whatever other random objects he deems necessary, then take them 'out'. Or make up beds with shoe boxes and tea towels and play doctors with them, or say 'baby bear is crying and sad...' then give him kisses and cuddles It's not something we've pushed him into! Boys can care for dolls!

5madthings · 22/08/2012 12:18

nothing wrong with it, my boys have always had dolls and toy pushchair. and lego is not a boys toy, what bollocks!

interstingly there was a thread on mnet ages ago about a boy of 7?ish wanting to spend his bday money on a new toy pram for his doll, his dad didnt want him to i think? and the op asked on here and was resoundly told he was too old to be playing with dolls, so seems it ok for toddler boys but not for any older Confused

ShowOfHands · 22/08/2012 12:24

"argument being that boys should have something that is just theirs."

Has he discovered his willy yet?

DS is 11mo and is currently fast asleep on my knee clutching his 'baba' tightly in his chubby little hand. Of course he has no maternal instincts at all. He has paternal instincts whereby he drops 'baba' regularly and screeches 'uh oh' before clasping her tightly and and mumbling 'oh dear'.

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 12:32

Just been inspired to see if I could find a toy pram that looks like the one I had - I think it was like this one, not exactly maybe (don't remember the make) but very similar.

I don't see why boys should stop playing with dolls at any age really - and again, I suppose it depends on your definition of "doll", doesn't it. Can't see DS necessarily giving up Woody and Buzz when he's 7!

5madthings · 22/08/2012 12:35

we have baby dolls and buzz and woody etc, ds2 is 10 and plays with little army figures, etc, they have moveable arms and legs are about 4inches big, they were dps when he was a child. technically they are a doll i guess?

he will still sometimes dress up his special cuddly toy dog in dolls clothes as well!

and lol at the boys only thing being a willy! they generally seem quite keen to share those as they get older! Grin