Love marriages banned in Indian village

[AnnieLobeseder]

More erosion of women's rights, this time in India.

But I guess with the huge erosion that's going on the US at the moment over the elections, it's hardly surprising that other parts of the world are following their lead.

What do you think is behind this story then, eclectic?

To be honest if this is just a formalisation of what have been de facto social regulations already, it's still a) bad and b) a turn for the worse IMO.

Of course there is a fuss, it's oppressive to women. It seems to me, this thread is more about who's right factually than about the women in the article. Meh really.

eclectic you can't make such bald statements and accuse the BBC, telegraph, guardian etc etc of inaccurate reporting, and then when asked for evidence say " It seems to me, this thread is more about who's right factually than about the women in the article." Well facts are fairly important, aren't they? Are you serious?

This is such a shame. Just having another look before bed and I think there's a missed opportunity here. Eclectic has experience and insight which could have been very valuable to feminists wanting to know how change could be effected. It seems very pointless to just say things are terrible without discussing the potentiality of change, and not just in a general way but in a specific way. Shouty and argumentative is not productive of anything except hot air. I am really puzzled by the problem of trying to generate change in favour of what I certainly consider "superior" western values where women and children are concerned. But am very aware that believing them to be superior and wanting them to be adopted elsewhere is a culturally antagonistic belief. I think it's a very challenging problem and the little insight that was achieved from Eclectic I found interesting. However it's a depressing insight into the feminism of the woman on the Clapham Omnibus. Just "isn't it bloody bloody bloody awful something must be done" and not much interest in how.

I just don't get it. There's a woman here who has two sisters actually living in this situation, by amazing coincidence she's on this thread, and all people want to do is score points off her.

Sorry, half sisters. But I still don't understand the point-scoring.

Um, Accuracyrequired, do you mean to sound quite as supercilious as you do? I'm sure you mean well, but I have to wonder how it helps those poor women in India for you to pontificate about how we are all bark and no bite. I have to add that I haven't seen much coming from you in the way of solutions either.

Sadly, the world is full of injustices against women, including right here in our own country. I wish I could do more about it. For now, I'm having to make do with ranting on the internet, spreading awareness and raising my daughters to be strong women who might one day make a difference.

I like to think that too often, these crimes are allowed to occur because there simply aren't enough people speaking out against them, and that's because not enough people know. I hope that spreading awareness is making some difference, no matter how small it is.

If you have some solid ideas on how I can realistically do more, please share them. Otherwise, I can't help but suggest perhaps you ride out off on your high horse.

I do think there's a general lack of open mindedness and listening on this board. Ironic seeing as theses qualities are vital to further womens rights. Interestingly, media seems to be respected far too much, strange as feminism is about questioning the status quo.

I'm frankly sick of being told that I don't have a valid viewpoint because I don't align with "feminist theory". Feminism should be defined as whatever helps women attain equality while taking account of context. It should not be a broad brush approach IMO, this only serves to alienate and ride roughshod over context. Listen and read posts with an open mind and instead of arguing pointlessly, we might actually gain enough understanding to be in a position to help women in a practical sense.

Before I came across this board, I didn't know feminist theory existed, I though feminism was practical and individual according to context. I can't see the benefit in saying "I agree with feminist theory" therefore I am helping women... Doesn't work like that in my experience. Most people know right from wrong, implementing it is a different story and much harder than many are willing to experience.

AR, I don't believe anyone would argue with the ideas you are trying to express. Most of the posters here are perfectly capable of understanding your ideas. It's just that you really aren't very good at communicating them.

Aim for a little more clarity and try to understand and inform your audiience without patronising them

Phrases such as "woman on the Clapham Omnibus" don't help either. We are all smart enough to understand the implications of that remark.

I think we all agreed that it was awful and that the best way to help was by supporting local women's groups and human rights groups in India.

Other than that, it's been two posters being very rude about the "ordinary" feminists on here.

Pointless, it always seems to be personal on here. Is this board for women's rights or just for your own feminist rights? I do wonder sometimes.

I don't have any solutions. I don't know anything about feminist theory.

Annie, here is someone with almost direct experience of the subject of the thread. Have you asked her one single question about how to try to change things?

I have not been unclear. There's no disagreement about deploring what's happening. But what's next? I said it quite a few times, but nobody actually cares.

And what Annie and Eclectic said

It used to be FUN OVER HERE sometimes....

All this "try not to be patronising". This is what you like, this is what you do.

What about the subject of the thread? Have you all lost interest?

Yes, pointless hot air.

"I think we all agreed that it was awful and that the best way to help was by supporting local women's groups and human rights groups in India."

How?

I would love it if anyone especially those with contacts in the area could suggest ways for feminists elsewhere to help them. Thoughts?

Finally.

Elephants, have I now forfeited my Golden Dworkin?

Accuracy - I haven't asked her because I'm not naive enough to believe that a middle-aged middle-class white women in Surrey with barely enough free time to pee in peace can hold even one jot of sway over what happens in a small village in India.

Can you not see how you're guilty of the very same thing of which you are accusing the rest of us? It's baffling.

Sorry, Accuracy, were you incapable of asking that question yourself? I don't understand your huffiness - if you want to ask Eclectic a question, do so. You seem to get on.

Hmm according to the telegraph this is a muslim majority village. Therefore the way I would go about it, is to use the laws and precedents of the culture and religion of the people in the village.

I would not tell them to stop practising their religion.

I would say actually women are allowed out in their own village unchaperoned there are many hadiths to say this. The companions of the prophet worked in market, visited each other etc. Then I would tell them the hadith about the best thing for two people in love is to be married.

That's how I interpret helping from within the culture and not trying to impose another culture on them.

Elephants - thank the Goddess. I asked this back at 22.57 and got no reply.

What should we be doing?

You are moaning about the lack of fun on this thread? Was it about fun? I must have missed that part. It's a serious subject to start with and turned instantly snarky in my direction.

Ahhh my old thread!