"Aung Sang Suu Kyi should have put her children first"

[blondieminx]

Just heard most staggering discussion on Jeremy Vine (yes i know - but am working from home while poorly, with Radio 2 on!) with overemotional "educationalist and commentator" Simon Waugh who was sadly orphaned age 6 who spent a good ten minutes saying that since Aung Sang Suu Kyi became a mother she should have put them first and come out of Burma to fight the battle from afar.

This is the woman who won the Nobel Peace Prize for her work in Burma FFS. As the lady from Refuge (didn't catch her name) said, "you woudn't be saying all this if she was a man". Quite.

Just makes me feel very ranty that some men, and specifically "educationalists" think that a woman's place is always in the home. Even in the case of a Nobel Peace Prize winning inspirational woman who has changed the path of her country and been a beacon of light and democracy.

One person's selfish is another's selfless.

fucking hell whatmeworry, selfishness??

I think it's interesting that many posters are putting forth this strawman argument, that recognising her family sacrifices is like we're saying she should be staying home and let's see doing the school run, wiping her kids' noses... can we have some more stereotypes of a mother's role?

I don't see anyone saying she should have given up her dreams and work, merely that she might have pursued a different strategy to do so, one that did not require such sacrifices for her family.

I'm not saying she should have done but it's this element of choice that I think is being taken into account by one of her sons and other commentators.

Do you honestly think if she'd been round the world lobbying, she's have seen lots of her children?

Short answer - no. More of them, but still not enough to please the judgypants round here.

I'm not arguing with the posters who are recognising her family sacrifices, which must have been huge and, as others say, agonising. I'm arguing with those who are saying that she should have let someone else it, because she was a mother.

What many posters seem to be doing is doubting her judgement. I am quite sure that she made the choices that she did because she genuinely and truly believed that it was the best, and probably only way for her to achieve her aim, not because she wanted to avoid 'being there' for her children.

Does anyone really think that she did not agonise over this decision herself?

There seems to be a suggestion that in making the decision to separate from her family, she is either some sort of cold-hearted witch who could abandon her children without a backward glance for the chance of self-glory, or that her judgment and decision making skills are so poor that it calls into question her decision to stay in Burma in the first place.

Again, it is only women who are attacked in this way, who are told they are not adequate as a person or as a leader, if they are first not adequate as a parent.

I dont see anyone saying that Nelson Mandella was selfsh or castigating him for being a bad parent. I think if we all cared for the welfare of our children above everything else no parent would go to work, or put their child into childcare.

I personally would be dead proud Aung San Suu Kyi was my parent; she was obvioulsy looking at the bigger picture and trying to get a better life for all of Burmas children, not just her own. What a fantastic role model she is to all children, women and men.

shocked at some of the remarks here; no one is in a position to judge her choices until you've walked a mile in her shoes... which would include being raised knowing that your father was assassinated, witnessing the 1988 crackdown and goodness knows what else. Honestly, until you're faced with a dictatorial regime that suddenly decides to cancel half the currency and plunge the country into poverty you have no idea what you could be capable of. You simply cannot speculate what you would do in such a situation and you certainly shouldn't judge

And for those saying that she hasn't achieved anything - I've just been watching some of the footage of her visit to the refugee camps in Thailand; something like that was unthinkable when I was working there 10 years ago. Progress is being made, but on the other hand I wouldn't be surprised if over the next week or so we would see another army takeover using the violence in Arakan as an excuse

As for others furthering her cause - there are hundreds of women out there fighting for justice in Burma, but the world just doesn't want to know - the quiet heroes are women like Dr Cynthia, the courageous Shan and Karen ladies. I really hope that if knew that something like this or this was happening in my country and I had the means to draw attention to it, even if it meant not seeing my children, I would have the courage to do so..

Mandela was in prison -- he did not have the option of leaving.

As I said, I think it is this element of choice that is leading to discussion in the case of Aung San. I don't think anyone would be discussing her choices if she had been locked in a jail cell all this time.

No one is saying she hasn't achieved anything, oricella.

And yes, we should remember that all the progress is not written in stone.

Oh yes they did!

Whatmeworry Wed 20-Jun-12 09:56:42
Life is full of tradeoffs. All golden idols have clay feet. The level of selfishness required to do what she did is huge, the question is will it have been worth it..

But IMO she has yet to really deliver much other than being a beacon of unrealistic hope I predict the reality of politics will tarnish her halo somewhat over the next few years.

She's a truly inspirational woman IMO. I like to think if she were my mum I would have been dead proud of her (but as a stroppy teenage I'm sure the reality is that I would have been angry with her and annoyed she didn't put me first).

It does seem to me that women come in for this criticism more than men. Many of the great (male) ANC leaders went into exile leaving children and families behind and no one questioned whether they were good fathers or not.

From what I know (which isn't much) she left her children in safety with their father while she went back to fight for democracy. Who are we to question whether or not she was a good mother? Was the father a good father? Who knows? Surely it's for the kids to say whether they think she was a good mother or not. I'm willing to bet that they are immensely proud of her.

The Dalai Lama doesn't want Tibet to be independent, he wants it to be an autonomous region (like Hong Kong). The Uighurs also desire an autonomous region, though I doubt either getting it would really stop the suffering going on there.

It is sometimes a wonder that any progress is made at all sometimes, the barriers seem so high.

thanks bejeezus... (and having a private giggle: having clay feet was pretty much a given on the border backwater roads during the monsoon..)

I took Whatmeworry's comments to be more questioning her future impact, but okay.

The Uighurs are even more fucked than the Tibetans, in terms of ever getting autonomy...

Interestingly, one of the main leaders of the Uighur autonomy movement is also a woman, Rebiya Kadeer:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebiya_Kadeer

She lives in exile in the US and has eleven children. Fascinating life story.

Maybe the people who are saying she was selfish could go and find out a bit more about Burma. If you knew the situation there, you might think again.

Whatever you think she has or hasn't personally achieved, the woman is an icon to so many, not just in Burma, but across Asia and the rest of the world.

Don't you feel the slightest bit proud that it is a woman people are looking up to and not a man? How rare is it that a woman is talked about for her politics on the global stage? Why do we have to talk about her perceived faults as a parent?

Whatever you might say now, parenthood is NEVER brought up when we're talking about Dr King or Nelson Mandela - and whether they had choice or not, they KNEW their actions were risky. But without people who are willing to stick their head above the parapet, the world would be a horrible place.

I'd also just mention that all three of the women who won the Nobel Peace Prize last year are mums as well

All these women are truly amazing.

I really don't see this as an issue where we should be judging her parenting.

When commentators start to question and judge male camapigners about their parenting, then I would be happy to discuss this. But until that time, this si just another way to punish women.

this wouldn't have been a straight choice at the outset between x years of house arrest or exile. Every week she and her supporters were fighting, they might have changed things So she could travel freely.

One of her children is NOT immensely proud of her. He rightfully feels she abandoned him when he needed her. That is an unforgivable thing for a parent to do. She did the wrong thing by her children. If she is now tortured by her choice, well what did she expect? She should have gone home when her husband was dying to support her boys. And continued her campaign from here. If she truly is an amazing woman she would have found a way to further the cause from here.

tulips It's not up to you to say how he feels is "right" or not. His feelings are his own. You don't get to say what's right. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are.

She didn't make that choice. She chose to stay and fight and as such has become a figurehead. I doubt she would have done if she hadn't stayed.

Whilst she is busy being mother to all of Burma who is being mother to her children? They only have her. If she abandons them for other people she considers more important who is going to put them first?

Their father?

their dad tulip?

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