"uni lad" and lad culture

[cinnamonnut]

There was a big furore recently about the "uni lad" magazine advocating rape. They closed their website to "clean up their act" but their facebook page is still so misogynistic :(
This popped up in the activity feed on my facebook the other day. I got involved but ended up having more sexist comments fired at me and in the end deleted my comments to avoid becoming a target.
www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=381942055162193&set=a.352663588090040.76923.146505212039213&type=1&theater
Fortunately it never reached 15,000 likes but this type of behaviour is becoming more and more accepted.

Vivian, yes I agree that it probably starts with the imitating. The question is, what are they imitating? IMO, they're imitating what they believe to be manly behavior, which is the root problem. Most boys will at some point in their journey into manhood come across the attitude that to be a man is to put down women.

And most girls will come across the attitude that if you want a boyfriend you'd better not object too strongly for fear of being ridiculed.

cinnamonnut [buwink] Hell hath no fury like a wanker told to stop perving on women!

The same wanker got angry at a girl for not getting off with him - "wtf? I've been nice to you for like two fucking weeks."

'Bet there's more than one MNer's offspring on there. They must be so proud.'

How old are your children, AyeRobot?
I would feel ashamed if either my son or my daughter appeared like any of those on that site, and wonder what had gone wrong and how I could change it.
Rather than feeling proud.

I've noticed things like this at my uni as well. Last Christmas I was sent an email about an event called "Love Xmas/Fuck Xmas" - the image on the first half was a scantily clad woman in santa type underwear, and the image on the second was a sleeping drunk, overweight older man dressed as santa. Nice.

I don't think young lads spend enough time with

fallen she was being sarcastic :o

One of the first things I saw at University (1997) was all sorts of tshirt with 'feel a little fresher' during Freshers Fair. There seemed to be a competition amongst certain 3rd year men to 'bag' female Freshers. I remember having to deflect the attentions of one predatory male by saying I had to be friends with someone first!
What was annoying was the men that used to loiter around the all-girls hall. Not that this was a prestigious university which gives a lie to this sort of behviour being working class.

Lad culture was rife when I was at Uni 1995-99 on a male dominated course. We were supposed to be ladettes and go along with it.

note that not not that stupid iphone

Josephine? With...? (Dying of suspense here )

It's a pity that more of the young women don't have your sort of backbone Vivian.
As Edmund Burke said
'The only thing necessary for evil to flourish is for good men do nothing'

So if the good men are doing nothing and the women do likewise, then the situation will continue to deteriorate.

I absolutely agree that women should feel able to speak up against this sort of thing without fear or favour, but please let's not fall into the trap of making women responsible for 'managing' obnoxious male behaviour.

The blame lies squarely with the men who are propagating it.

agree Flippinada.
I don't like this thing of blaming the mothers all the time.

Sure the blame lies with the men behaving in an obnoxious and sexist fashion, I'm not disputing that.

The university I worked at banned Lads Mags from being sold on campus - and it was the male student union chair who did it. He got a lot of stick and complaint often from female students who claimed there was nothing wrong with it . It stuck though - no mags.

Worked at? Work at! There's a subconscious slip

Fallen the political idea that an apathetic population is vulnerable to authoritarian government is the same theory really. The more docile people are, the more it will flourish.

I also don't want women to be held responsible for this.

But as many of us are mothers of boys, how do we feel about this with our own sons? I would be really upset if my son started behaving like this or if my daughter was exposed to it.

I think there are two ways of potentially dealing with this before they get to that age. The first has got to be about attitudes to women, and the second is learning that it is sometimes really important not to go with the herd.

I would be horrified if my dses grew up to have these attitudes.

I bet those boys don't air those views at home. I'll bet their parents think they are high achievers bound for glory. Those attitudes come from fear and ignorance: if you can't control something then belittle it.

Unfortunately it seems to be endemic in higher education. The Students' Union at my workplace ran a Meat a Fresher night (yes, that was the intended spelling), and its President thinks lapdancing is an acceptable occupation for female students.

I was at university in the early eighties and it wasn't like this at all. None of my contemporaries made money from lapdancing or prostitution either, despite the horrific recession. Those clubs didn't exist in university towns and paying for sex hadn't been normalised. There were no tuition fees of course, but many of us survived on the most meagre grants because our (non contributing in many cases) parents earned over the threshold, so we all had to get crap evening and holiday jobs in an era that was years before the minimum wage regulations.

This has happened because of porn and the 'lads mag' culture hasn't it? That's why posters who were at uni from 1994 onwards are saying they faced similar experiences - and these little wankers were born into a society that had already normalised the sexual objectification of women.

It makes me sad :(

This is horrible. I would be horrified and incredibly angry if my son was ever saying anything like those boys - he is only 8 just now though.

It was like this at high school - I only finished in 2003. I am regularly sent emails about club nights with suggestive names, always with scantily clad girls on the front. It's horrible.

Are Facebook allowed to have this awfulnes on the site? Why can''t we complain?