Husband abandoned me while 4 months pregnant,due march. Now he is divorcing.

[biyboo]

What rights does he have over child, he has anger issues has paid zero for me or baby so far despite being on reasonable wage. It has been proven that it is his child through medical notes. This was known all along though. He is an emotional and at times physical abuser but I was too afraid to go to police but would without hesitation now. I do want to breast feed. He has not had the child's consideration from the second of conception and stopped talking to me when I told him I was pregnant. This was shocking as we had tried for 2 years to get to that point. Baby was no mistake, it was planned by both of us. He bullied, belittled me in every way. I was perfect for his type as I had no family I could talk to about the way he controlled the unhappy climate of married life with him.
I worry what he will do to me and baby a he is furious as he has been asked a no of times to pay maintenance for me and baby. He still has not paid. Is his lawyer also mad as this looks very bad for him especially that it will now have to go in front of judge.
He loves only his money and wants only that. He is quite abnormal and this is my only concern.
Who can I ask for help from,doc?police?Hospital? I worry for my baby. I have been in trauma and hell all throughout my pregnancy and I feel sad as poor baby is growing in very upset mother. I just want a healthy birth and this creep far, far away from us.

i am thinking concern for how you will keep a roof over yours and your child's head after your husband has abandoned you pregnant with his child is quite a legitimate concern given we live in a world where money is needed to survive ffs.

but what she's supposed to transcend mere mortal considerations?

as you are married he will auto have PR whatever so i think this worry about the birth cert is a dead end.

if someone is not on a birth cert however and denies parentage they are (under current csa regs) asked to take a paternity test (which they then have to pay for if proved that the child is theirs), if they refuse to parentage is assumed. birth cert doesn't come into it.

Debs thank you for lovely warm text. Have you read my whole thread. I have written may times I don't care for myself but I do want maintenance for the child. Does this make me desperate? You think for 1 sec that I would not think of my child's safety, read my whole thread again. You are harsh and please do not reply to me as you are quite thoughtless. Thank you solidGbrass, you can understand what I have shared on my thread. I have told solicitors, doctors and midwives about 3 weeks ago that I do not want any contact with H due to his comments/behaviour and thank God H is staying away.

How dare you say that I am like him in thinking about maintenance. Do not reply Deb. I think you are very stupid and thoughtless and wonder how you be in my situation.

Have you had the chance to look into benefits and entitlements you may be able to get hold of after baby is born? Money is a humongous pressure and it may just be possible that a small part of this pressure may be able to be alleviated for you. entitled to is a site you can have a look at to see if you can get anything i.e. child tax credit.

the bit i don't get is not wanting contact until he pays maintenance? how does that make him safer? you need to look at two separate issues really ; 1)maintenance for the baby and 2) safety for you and the baby. Telling him he can see you/ the baby if he pays up lessens your assertion that he is violent.

Thank you solidgoldbrass for being understanding.

When I spoke to doctor and midwives they also suggested that to keep stress/trauma down in last trimester to keep H away and any visits after birth will be supervised. Someone else will always be with me so that H not alone with me and my child.

I just want to say that thank you for all the positive and constructive advice and questions majority of MNs are giving me. I really appreciate it.

Well OP we all have our opinions and I am sorry if you didn't like what I said
I merely meant in such a situation I would want to make sure myself and baby were physically safe from an abusive man. Money is something you can sort out down the line when the divorce is final and baby is born and emotions are not as high now.
Plus witholding contact through non payment of maintenance is not something judges agree on. They are more likely to suggest contact in a contact centre due to threat of violence which could be the best thing for all concerned.

I do really hope you can get all the help you need and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth