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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Would this comment have frustrated you?

99 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:07

I've just been to Prize Giving at DD1's school, which a girls' grammar.

They have just achieved 99.7% pass rate for A levels and are very proud of the girls' achievements.

Why then did the Head Of Governors open the proceedings with this comment?

"Welcome... I shall now move along to the most enjoyable part of the evening, seeing the girls' beautiful dresses as they parade across the stage to collect their awards." Shock

It was obviously only a a small part of the night, but it totally flummoxed and disappointed me.

Am I being super-critical?

OP posts:
Tuppenyrice · 10/11/2011 23:10

That would annoy me too.

Congratulations to those clever, wonderful girls.

FromGirders · 10/11/2011 23:10

Nope, you're not. That would have me grinding my teeth too.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 10/11/2011 23:11

It would annoy me too. You cannot imagine the corresponding person at a boy's school saying the equivalent!

meditrina · 10/11/2011 23:11

Were they perhaps garments that the girls had made themselves, and so admiration would be for what they had created?

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 10/11/2011 23:13

Why didn't you just post in chat BOAST THREAD??? [Hmm]

[Grin]
xx

Which book did she choose in the end?

Great pass rate!!

Anyway, back to your question....

I suggest she did it because she said it from her heart and not from her rule book, tbh. It probably is the bit she enjoys the most. It doesn't mean it's the most important part or that it belittles the girls achievements in any way.

Grumpla · 10/11/2011 23:13

Nope, that would annoy me too.

In fact I'd be fucking furious.

Was it meant to be some sort of witticism? I suppose I am fairly humourless when it comes to implying that any intellectual achievement by a young woman should automatically be overshadowed by her personal appearance.

lostinindia · 10/11/2011 23:13

Oh god that's awful. Was the HoG female or male?

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:18

Nope it was genuine comment.

The girls had gone to major efforts, and granted they did look lovely, but that's not what the celebrations tonight.

But OMSG the heels!!!!!

DD1 is 12 so had to waer school uniform. They can wear home clothes in lower/upper sixth.

Sorry it wasn't meant to be boasting - I felt it was contextual. Blush

Female HoG.

OP posts:
Valpollicella · 10/11/2011 23:18

The 'most enjoyable part of the evening'

What the actual fuck?

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:21

celebrations were about.

Chips, she chose the Information Is Beautiful that a few people recommended. I have snaffled many ideas off that thread for her Christmas list. Smile

The dresses didn't look home-made. Wink

OP posts:
WoTmania · 10/11/2011 23:22

You're not being super-critical. That would have annoyed me too.

Jacksmania · 10/11/2011 23:24

Fuckin' hell. That would piss me off.

Valpollicella · 10/11/2011 23:25

Please, please speak to someone about this.

I cannot believe that this can go unchallenged.... The dresses?? The most enjoyable part of the evening?

What was it? An awards ceremony or Miss LocaltoChaos 1971?

GeekLove · 10/11/2011 23:25

Yes that comment would really boil my piss. No one ever says 'what smashing shirts the boys are wearing'.

Pan · 10/11/2011 23:29

you know, a sort of benign interpretation is that the fact they are wearing dresses is a sort of underlining the fact they are the young women collecting awards, not young men. So they can grace the stage with both their 'dressed finery' as young women, and with their academic achievements. < I'd prob. dislike the line as much as others if it was said when dd collects some award, tho'>. Maybe she was being a bit 'grand' and olde worlde, but it doesn;t chime well in 2011.

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:30

The Guest Speaker was an Ex Pupil who is now a Helicopter Pilot in the royal Navy.

That was pleasing. Wink

She was truly inspirational - the girls gave her a massive applause after her brilliant speech where she mentioned that she had always felt judged on professional ability rather than gender, which was encouraging.

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 10/11/2011 23:31

YADNBU and I would also write in and complain about the creep.

garlicBread · 10/11/2011 23:31

She said it wrong. Someone should perhaps tell her. I am assuming that the sixth-formers had all knocked themselves out for the occasion and, as self-conscious young women, some approval of appearance was in order. She really could have said something other than "most enjoyable", though.

I'm pretty sure our speech day always included something along the lines of "Not only are our girls bright and hard-working, they also look wonderful today!" cue applause.

Congrats yo your DD :)

Valpollicella · 10/11/2011 23:33

So the Head of Governors thinks that the most important part of the prizegiving ceremony is girls parading their dresses, on their way to pick up a prize?

Not celebrating the fact they are intelligent young women, on their way to collect their prizegiving cert....No. Lets focus on their pretty dresses

Hmm
Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:33

TBH my gut feeling is she saw it as a pleasantry. But I think it was ill-chosen and inappropriate.

OP posts:
Pan · 10/11/2011 23:34

yeah Chaos, ill-chosen and a bit undermining.

How old is the HoG.s??

KristinaM · 10/11/2011 23:35

What grumpla said

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:35

I did say that it was only a small part of the ceremony, and the rest of it focussed on academic (and other) acheivements.

But I just felt it was totally unnecessary, especially as they were the opening comments, almost setting the tone for the evening.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/11/2011 23:36

Probably 50ish.

Wearing mortar and gown, so I assume educated to a reasonable level.

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 10/11/2011 23:37

Well, given who you've now told us the presenter was, I'm still bothered, but not as Angry. I'd still be royally fucked off if it had been some fat old male lech.

So... I wonder if it might have been just one of those stupid comments one makes when in front of a microphone and pissing one's pants with nervousness which has of course never happened to me.

In which case it would be a kindness if someone took her aside and said something like "look, I bet you were nervous giving that speech, and the thought might never have occurred to you that by saying the best part of the evening was the girls' pretty dresses you're pissing on their accomplishments or something kinder than that, just can't think of the words but some parents were a bit Hmm and we just wanted to mention it".

Because if she has no idea what she said, and that it came across badly, she might, in a similar moment of nervousness, do same again. Which would be :(.