Perfect Wife Syndrome

[blobtobetter]

Perfect Wife Syndrome

Sex on demand. Dinner on the table (or in front of the TV, if he prefers). Why, after decades of battling for equality, do some of Britain's most successful women put their man's needs first?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2058421/Why-Britains-successful-woman-developed-Perfect-Wife-Syndrome.html

"A successful barrister from Manchester, she?s barely had time to eat since breakfast and longs to just collapse in front of the TV with a ready meal.
Instead, the moment she arrives home, she showers, changes into a pretty wrap‑dress and makes sure the wine is chilling and a casserole is bubbling in the oven before her husband James, 40, arrives home from the office.
If he wants sex later, she?ll happily comply. They won?t discuss her day. Instead, Caroline will listen supportively while James recounts the details of what he did at work."

Sounds a lot like Fascinating Womanhood to me!

Probably because some men still think this is what a wife should do :(

The tone of that article annoys me immensely (DM so no wonder).

As if it's only wrong because the women are 'successful' and have 'careers'. So it's ok for a SAHM to have sex when she doesn't want to then?

It's the Daily Wail folks - what do you expect? Why not just stop reading this rubbish? It's the newspaper for silly cows and total arses.

Just googled 'Fascinating Womanhood' blobto, now I'm depressed!

I don't get it. Why does she not just say 'Your turn to cook tonight, darling.'? The DM makes my teeth itch, so I don't really want to read the whole article, but are they saying that she's happy with this situation? Or that she's unhappy, but feels it's her duty to be a perfect little wifey?

I've just googled "Fascinating womanhood" as well, and came accross a blog entitled "the fascinating woman"
Underneath are the captions
"Fascinating Marriage. Fascinating Life."

not sure what it could be... but something makes me a bit doubtful...

Sounds like it's been written by a man tbh:

"Let me tell you about this Masterpiece Mom, my daughter, Ginny Leavitt. She has 15 children. She teaches them home school each weekday morning. They all attend church weekly. She reads them stories and books; is an excellent cook. The family keeps the house clean and helps with the shopping. Every Monday evening the family meets together for a "Family Home Evening." Here the father teaches them spiritual values and the mother and children participate. She helps the poor and the needy and blesses people with her presence. When Ginny comes into a room people feel spiritually nourished. All of the older children have attended college. In addition, she keeps her weight trim and dresses with taste and propriety. Is Ginny happy? She said recently, "Mom, I used to have dreams about my future happy life, but now I feel I am living my dreams".

Want to know how to become a Masterpiece Mom or create a Masterpiece Family? If so consider the following three points:

thefascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/

""I had begun to feel a void in my marriage and say, 'Well, maybe the feminists have the answer.' I know now that Fascinating Womanhood is what I needed to tie up the loose ends of my thinking. I was looking forward to my 25th anniversary with sadness. Now it will be happy and romantic.""

No no no!!! Feminists do have the answer!

Helen Andelin's books seem quite popular in America - the amazon reviews are interesting. Not as interesting as the ones about Debi Pearl's Helpmeet book!

Debi Pearl? Is that the one who wrote a massive book with her husband detailing how exactly to beat your children?

This is the most annoying piece of shit I have read in a long time. Christ, I thought one major advantage of women having careers is that they didn't have to bake effing cakes anymore!

When women who are relying upon a man for income behave like this, I feel sorrow but at the same time can understand that being financially dependent can erode confidence and self-esteem. When women who earn money do this, I want to scream. Stupid, stupid women. What's their excuse for being like doormats?
Men who stray stray whatever you do. Dumb that is what these women are. A true disgrace to feminism.

sakura, how nice to see you back!

I can't take these articles seriously, they are just too ridiculous. Reminds me of the classic thread in the Relationships section when a poster decided the problems in her marriage were due to her being too assertive. She read The Surrendered Wife and followed its guidelines as gospel for about three weeks. Then she realised her husband was, actually, an arse and the marriage ended shortly thereafter.

I remember Jerry Hall coming out with a smug, nonsense statement about a woman being a whore in the bedroom, cook in the kitchen and maid in the sitting room. Didn't stop Sir Mick screwing around. I think I prefer the genuine wisdom of fellow 70's supermodel Marie Helvin who said that no matter how good she looked, her ex David Bailey would still screw around because NEWSFLASH there are OTHER beautiful women in the world.

Hi Mooncup! Thank you!

I am refusing to click on a DM link - after the Amanda Knox fiasco I swore I would never venture there again no matter how tempting......Sounds like a load of shite though - I think they have a whole bunch of these women lined up to spout crap on quiet news days.....

"When women who are relying upon a man for income behave like this, I feel sorrow but at the same time can understand that being financially dependent can erode confidence and self-esteem."

Ha, I'm a SAHM and I don't do any of that! I must be seriously underachieving

Oh my good god, I just looked a the fascinating woman blog. It is possibly the most shocking thing I have read in a while. It reminds me of The Handmaid's Tale, terrifying stuff.

Thats actually a very good post wamster.

I also agree with an abouve post , how if this was some uneducated estate dwelling SAHm i doubt the daily mail would feels its an awful thing.

The most terrifying part, I find, is the way women are encouraged to be childlike. You are supposed to develop childlike characteristics ans this will make you happier (don't worry your pretty little head) and make your husband love you more (presumably because he can call all the shots.)

Am

I wonder if we'd see the divorce rate plummet if there was a perfect husband syndrome...

How to handle arguments: Exaggerate: Exaggerate his treatment of you by saying, for example, ?How can a great big man like you pick on a poor little helpless girl like me!?

Yes, that would work well, my Dh would piss himself laughing.

and from the author: "A wife must make her husband feel masculine. When women do men?s jobs, men feel threatened, home life gets disrupted, and marriages are ruined. I would never do anything to undermine my husband?s masculinity, including working outside the home."

Who controls the money?

My husband controls the money.
If I want something, I tell my husband and explain why it would be useful to me. I then step back and let him make a decision while I pray about it.

Are you spenders or savers?

I don?t know whether we?re spenders or savers.

what a lovely life indeed

"I then step back and let him make a decision while I pray about it. " ! FFS!

But what bout the menz???

How awful it would be to be so alone in your marriage, responsible for all decisions, responsible for the finances, no one to talk to of an evening. Grim lets-get-this-over-with sex rather than a bit of passion and fun. unable to admit to vulnerabilities or be silly. Unable to catch your breath knowing the other grown up competent adult can hold the fort for a bit.

Who would want that type of life?

Serious point, despite tongue in cheek catchphrasing.