Perfect Wife Syndrome

[blobtobetter]

Perfect Wife Syndrome

Sex on demand. Dinner on the table (or in front of the TV, if he prefers). Why, after decades of battling for equality, do some of Britain's most successful women put their man's needs first?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2058421/Why-Britains-successful-woman-developed-Perfect-Wife-Syndrome.html

"A successful barrister from Manchester, she?s barely had time to eat since breakfast and longs to just collapse in front of the TV with a ready meal.
Instead, the moment she arrives home, she showers, changes into a pretty wrap‑dress and makes sure the wine is chilling and a casserole is bubbling in the oven before her husband James, 40, arrives home from the office.
If he wants sex later, she?ll happily comply. They won?t discuss her day. Instead, Caroline will listen supportively while James recounts the details of what he did at work."

Sounds a lot like Fascinating Womanhood to me!

"I love, love, love your book and have gotten fabulous results from practicing its principles. The only problem I have is that my husband will not let me quit work. And I am wearing out! Do you have any suggestions? He makes enough for us to live on. I didn't mind working when I was not trying to clean the house or look nice myself, but seriously, I am wearing out and getting stress acne, and would LOVE to be a fabulous woman instead of a second-rate one who makes money too. My husband could even make more money, but thinks it wouldn't be fair for him to do all the money-making. Any help you could give me would be so, so appreciated!"

OMFG! This woman should be shot at dawn!

'The secret of awakening his willingness is Feminine Dependency'

Super.

Hadn't heard about Debi Pearl and child beating - I thought she had written a book for wives as helpmeets to their husbands?

From a blog I read quoting Fascinating Womanhood -

"The Domestic Goddess adds feminine touches to her homemaking - gingham curtains, a basket of fruit, soft pillows, a cozy rug at the door, flowers, a row of plates above a cross beam, cheerful wallpaper - to give a homey feeling to the house. She adds feminine touches to her meals - cheerful tablecloths, pretty dishes and delicious aromas."

Lessons index from another site -

frankysj.tripod.com/fwlsnindex.html

I'm buggered then blob . When dh brings dd back from Brownies we are having fish and chips.

It all sounds a bit frilly to me but people run their whole lives by that book and must change their personality to fit. Makes me wonder if they are happy living the Fascinating Womanhood way.

'fascinating' sounds boring as fuck to me to either live or live with.

(not taking pride in homemaking obv, or putting yourself out for your partner but to the exclusion of all else)

All sounds so dishonest and deceptive.

I've just glanced at a couple of her books for sale on Amazon and would like to apply for a total mind wipe, please.

Very disturbing.

How could anyone be happy suppressing themselves like that.

Also good point Sinecal I know my DP would hate me to be like that, if you act like that you cannot be an equal partner in life. I would simply not be interesting to him if everything I did or said was about him. You are making yourself into a glorified housekeeper.

Fascinating womanhood gets my first ever

I have a friend who has bought into this concept wholeheartedly and she's married to a selfish knob of the highest order but refuses to see it's not her that needs changing.

I noticed there's even a fascinating girlhood 'because it's never too early to start'

What utter utter damaging shite!

I think fascinating girlhood is the same book but with a dating section.

Hide who you are when dating then hide who you are FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Sounds nuts.

just googled it as well.
what was your one doing writing books in the first place - couldn't she get a man?

as with all dangerous ideas there's enough truth to reel people in. of course show your partner you appreciate them, etc, just shows the dangers of extremism. extreme femininity.

But in my eyes it is fine to appreciate your dp/dh and to do thing for tthem ......as long as they fecking do it back. I was brought up by my GM - an intelligent woman - she was MOST insistent about the importance of education. What she MEANT by this, is that IF you are educated you will meet a better class of husband.

The worst thing was when I announced I was leaving my exH, she wrote me a letter saying SHE had put up with having a crap DH all her life so I should just get on with it. Bad - because my GD is absolutely lovely and also because she felt I should be miserable all my life because she was.

Blimey, my poor DH. I'm a SAHM who argues debates with him vigorously, manages the money and can't cook half as well as he does. He is obviously getting a raw deal.

If you're worried that you're not as Fascinating as you should be, why not get your husband to take you in hand?

This woman has both education and income as a lawyer, and the others are all billed as successful too.

They are free to make personal choices on how to run their household, and also to talk about it publicly if they wish.

I wouldn't want to live like that (and if DH had wanted a wife like that, he'd have chosen someone else). But I don't think I should automatically knock someone for making a different choice at a particular time in their life, and within their specific marriage/relationship.

Freedom of choice and self-determination encompasses those who make choices I don't like, as well as those I do.

If a woman wishes to be a housewife and do all housework, fine; (apart from sex thing which of course should never be something that women 'comply' with). It is the fact that a woman is now expected to work AND do housewife thing that makes my blood boil!
Women are hated by some, aren't they?

freedom of choice is fair enough, but I'm under no obligation to respect someone elses' choices. I respect her right to make them, and I've no right to interfere of course - but agree with the choice itself, just because? nah

Oh god these are all so depressing :(

I'd rather have a messy house, my own income and life on my own terms; thanks.

The fact that this woman is educated and has an income of her own makes thing worse not better!
Living proof that being educated is no guarantee of wisdom.
Does she not realise the burden she is placing upon her own children? A son who thinks mummy should do every-f*ing thing, a daughter who will run herself into the ground trying to please a man?
Education is not the same as wisdom-truly clever women know that a man of a mind to cheat will do so whatever.

It's the fact that they are having sex with a different woman. The novelty of it all that makes causes a man to cheat. Do these 'perfect wives' know anything?

The Facinating Girl: "The greatest contribution a woman can make to society is to get married and successfully fill her role as a wonderful wife."

The Facinating Girl: "The greatest contribution a woman can make to society is to get married and successfully fill her role as a wonderful wife."

Thank god no one said that to Marie Curie.

Someone also needs to tell Christine Lagard or Aung San Suu Kyi where they've been going wrong perhaps?

But on a more serious note. How ridiculous to believe that the best a whole gender can be is subserviant to the other one?