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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Bloody hell! So my friend's 3yo daughter told her GP she wanted to be a doctor ...

57 replies

BellaBearisWideAwake · 03/09/2011 21:06

and this is what happened:

"So, DD has got really interested in bones, muscles, what's in the body etc last few weeks. Yesterday we got lots of great books with pictures out of the library and she decides she wants to be a bone-fixing doctor, sawing up bones and pinning them together. Brilliant. Today she volunteers this to the GP, who tells her most orthopedic surgeons are men and it's much too difficult for women to make it. FFS"

I mean, really??!!! What sort of message is this?!

Anyway, I asked my friend if I could post this here as I am really interested in what other people have to say about it.

OP posts:
SybilBeddows · 03/09/2011 21:07

was GP a man or a woman?

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 03/09/2011 21:09

:( I despair sometimes.

Best I can advise is that your friend keeps encouraging her DD to do whatever she wants to do (within reason) in her life. She may change her goals, but don't let it be because of that GP's words.

Original poster
BellaBearisWideAwake · 03/09/2011 21:11

Ha! Interesting. A woman, although most people commenting on the FB status assumed a man.

OP posts:
HeidiHole · 03/09/2011 21:12

was the GP male? If so I would strongly suggest a complaint on grounds of sexism to the surgery.

mousymouse · 03/09/2011 21:13

do you mean the grandparents? have stern word and tell your dd that 'times were different back then'.

create · 03/09/2011 21:14

Really? Much too difficult or much more difficult? GP's not wrong...doesn't mean that can't change

SybilBeddows · 03/09/2011 21:14

I assumed it was woman who feels bitter about the discrimination she came up against and is pissed off that everyone pretends to you when you are a kid that opportunities are equal.
If so I am sympathetic but 3 is too young to teach them about discrimination, really....

EdnaKrabappel · 03/09/2011 21:14

Sounds like the GP doesn't have much empathy full stop, if she actually used the phrase "orthopaedic surgeon" to a 3yo. Unless 3yo actually knew that job title that is.

It is a depressing comment in the context of gender, but also shows that the GP doesn't relate to children very well, which might be more the issue. Whether they say they want to do something menial & low paid or they want to be an astronaut, the stock reply should really be "ooh lovely / great / wow " - shouldn't it?

belledechocchipcookie · 03/09/2011 21:14

The GP is (sadly) correct. I've never met a female orthopedic surgeon and I've met a few. It's physically demanding so helps to be strong and, generally, women are not. Sad but true.

noir · 03/09/2011 21:15

It sounds like this GP may have some ishoos around her own unfulfilled potential. Not fair to project that on to a 3 year old though, even if it is true!

EdnaKrabappel · 03/09/2011 21:16

Yes, but Belle you don't say so to a 3yo do you? You just go along with it and encourage them to have aspirations to be or do something. They change their mind every day anyway. But effectively saying "oh you can't because you're a girl" is rubbish.

Don't think I would complain to the surgery though, I would have said something at the time.

ChristinedePizan · 03/09/2011 21:17

Not true any more apparently, Belle, according to this article (and many, many others if you google)

Original poster
BellaBearisWideAwake · 03/09/2011 21:18

I just don't get why you would dash a 3yo's comments in that way, how hard is it to say 'wow, good choice' or whatever.

Thanks for comments. I'm going to do a bit of a post and run, but my friend should be along to discuss.

OP posts:
belledechocchipcookie · 03/09/2011 21:20

No, I wouldn't say that to a 3 year old. I used to work in a hospital and have spent years in Orthopedics (not as a surgeon), I've never met a female orthopedic surgeon here, even the trainees were all male. I'm hoping it's different in other NHS trusts.

HereBeBolloX · 03/09/2011 21:20

Blimey.
Sounds like the GP needs a bit of counselling to deal with her unresolved ishoos. Grin

SybilBeddows · 03/09/2011 21:21

Did she realise the child was only 3? If she's learning all about muscles etc she is presumably pretty bright and may have been coming across as older than she really is. (Not that it makes any difference, it's not an appropriate thing to say to a 6 yo either.)

Daughteroflilith · 03/09/2011 21:26

How much physical strength can it take to reset or pin a bone? There are female vets delivering cows; female firefighters; even some female plumbers. What an odd thing to say.

Kandinsky · 03/09/2011 21:29

Belle - my son's orthopaedic surgeon is female. She specialises in paediatrics though. Fantastic doctor and brilliant with children. She's the kind of surgeon OP's daughter needs to meet.

belledechocchipcookie · 03/09/2011 21:29

It takes a fair amount Daughteroflilith. Have you tried standing for hours in an operating theatre wearing pounds of lead trying to screw nuts and bolts into a leg?

Lilithmoon · 03/09/2011 21:30

Awful attitude from that GP. Ishoos I agree. FWIW my 4 yr old has been saying the same since she was 2 and always says it when she meets anyone even vaguely medical looking. The stock response is always 'you will need to work hard in school'.

belledechocchipcookie · 03/09/2011 21:30

That's really great Kandinsky Smile Surgery has always been a very male profession, it's crazy.

DecapitatedLegoman · 03/09/2011 21:31

To be honest I've had kids tell me about how they want to do my job and I've said flippant things like "Really? You should be a dentist, it's much better hours and the pay's great". It may be that she was lightheartedly referencing her own experiences and is right now sitting at home kicking herself having realised how it came across.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 03/09/2011 21:32

DD (13) recently answered my MIL's question about what she'd like to be when she grows up, with 'be a doctor' (news to meHmm). To which MIL replied 'wouldn't you like to be a nurse?' DD thought it was funny - but she's old enough not to take MIL that sort of nonsense seriously. Shocking response to a 3 yo though.

lollystix · 03/09/2011 21:35

My bro is ortho surgeon - his friend is a female one and he's also trained under a couple of women. I admit he mentions more male colleagues but I think the tough bit for all female consultants and surgeons is that about the time they're supposed to be sitting exams and getting their senior placements, their also supposed to be having babies - early to mid 30's. I think it sucks for them

DirtyMartini · 03/09/2011 21:36

Massively ill-judged remark to make, regardless of her intentions. I hate the idea of squashing a 3 year old's interest in that way.

I hope it didn't have too much of an effect, do you know how the little girl reacted to it later - I mean, did it seem to change her outlook at all?

I'd be pretty pissed off if anyone told my DD that a job she wanted was "much too difficult for women" to get into, or to perform, or anything along those lines.