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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

You don't have to be feminist to post here, but it helps...

1004 replies

MrsReasonable · 26/08/2011 17:50

I've noticed that whenever a 'non-feminist' view is brought up, there are occasionally some posts along the lines of 'this is a feminist board, why come here if you aren't...', etc.

Genuine question - is this a feminist board, or a board about feminism? Obviously the majority of posters are feminist, but I'm not sure whether that is because feminists (surprise surprise) like discussing feminism, or because it is seen as a feminist 'safe haven'?

OP posts:
startAfire · 30/08/2011 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

garlicnutter · 30/08/2011 20:40

It's thanks to people doing that for me that this board has helped me firm up my views in areas where I hadn't realised I was still woolly :)

My experience here hasn't been entirely positive, though, as stated. I'm a lot tougher than many folk, and still got scared away. I don't think I'm especially thick, SGB Grin Sure you'll tell me if I'm wrong.

AyeRobot · 30/08/2011 20:41

SGB Grin

claig · 30/08/2011 20:44

'I'm afraid I don't find it interesting.'

Well we don't all find the same things interesting. We don't all have the same opinions. Some people found it interesting and that is why it is at 840 posts and counting. There's no orthodoxy, people have different interests. There's no right and wrong, there's no "my way or the highway", there's room for a wide range of interests and opinions.

There are lots of threads on here, so there is no need to dismiss the interests that other posters have.

scottishmummy · 30/08/2011 20:44

start any thread you wish.its an open board.and others will participate too.thats the fluid and spontaneous nature of mn.i dont seek to inhibit any topic.as i said as far as i see it no topic off limit on feminism discussion. i dont feel encumbered by stuff deemed by others to be antifeminsit

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 30/08/2011 20:45

I'll agree, sAf, it is a common approach. But I think the unfeminist posts vary in how the're greeted. Usually depends on how much we've been trolled recently, though... Grin

But it's never the baying pack of wolves though.

Rather interestingly, and related to LRD's post, the common view of the "anti-feminist" is that us feminists are playing the role of the victim. It's one I came across from a "friend" (I use the term loosely) after I expressed my disgust at a mother who was pushing her daughter towards a career in glamour modelling. Cue a debate on the sexualisation of women in media, and the corruption of the porn industry. I was later told by him that I was an "Ultra Conservative Feminist" Oh. And I had "victim issues"... Hmm

NormaStanleyFletcher · 30/08/2011 20:45

Can I just give you my perspective.

Been here nearly 5 years, sparred with many. I am a confident, outgoing, personable person.

The first post ever on this section got a Hmm.

My second was on this thread, asking what MRA meant, after trying to search on here and google, and fair enough the next two people answered that, then the next response was that this should be added to the acronyms list to stop people constantly having to answer the question.

I even went looking for some Fema nism 101 thread that someone mentioned but cannot find it

I wanted to come on and ask about ideas/reassurance for my increadibly pink an d princess DD, but am not sure that I want to now

LRDTheFeministDragon · 30/08/2011 20:47

claig, what I was getting at was that I found it hurtful. And when I said so, I was told to shut up because apparently I'm not entitled to feel hurt, I handed in that entitlement when I started posting on here, along with the right to be treated as a person in my own right rather than some kind of bizarre hive mind called 'the radical feminists' (the collective IQ of whom I'm sure I lower, sorry all! )

I think 'interesting' is a funny word for it.

AyeRobot · 30/08/2011 20:49

Yes, we know, scottishmummy.

And garlicnutter, you ran away when you were caught out misrepresenting dittany's views on rape as a strange "gotcha".

solidgoldbrass · 30/08/2011 20:49

I agree that no subject should be off limits but if you want to have a discussion about something (as opposed to just giving yourself sticky pants by watching everyone else work themselves up into a frenzy), you know, pick your area. If you want to explore veganism, chicken-keepers is not the topic to start a thread in. A theoretical discussion about whether or not ritual cannibalism of your dead relatives could be considered ethical probably shouldn't be started in the bereavement section. And popping into the music topic to tell everyone that your imaginary friend thinks music is sinful and should be prohibited is not going to get you many sympathetic or friendly responses, either.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 30/08/2011 20:50

Sorry Norma, cross-posted with you. I'm up for talking about pink princess DD stuff if you're still keen? Want to go start a thread?

scottishmummy · 30/08/2011 20:53

you see the received orthodoxy is feminists dont use porn.unfeminist apparently.but pragmatically some women have posted to say they do and dont feel sullied by it. thats always a hotly contested topic on feminism discussion

sadandwary · 30/08/2011 20:53

Grinat SGB

sparky

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 30/08/2011 20:54

I'm also up for discussing Pink, princessy stuff. Grin

And SGB, hit the nail on the head Wink

NormaStanleyFletcher · 30/08/2011 20:55

Am going to start thread then...

BTW I have a crush on love SGB, and have even met here in real life, and still have a badge she gave me

scottishmummy · 30/08/2011 20:56

yes,im up for a pink discussion.fire away

claig · 30/08/2011 20:56

I have found it interesting. It started off heated and I think it has ended up constructive. Not only is it interesting to hear all of these different views but it is also very important. The best poster on this board, dittany, has been absent from this board for months now, due to attacks made against her style. It is too long, and it is due to the issues and accusations made against her that we are discussing here. Everybody is entitled to their view, everybody should be heard.

We have to stop attacking posters' styles and debate the arguments without personalising them.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 30/08/2011 20:57

Hotly contested, yes. But we don't feel it makes SGB any less feminist for being pro-porn (is it sex positive feminist? I get muddled, sorry) She just has a different stance on it.

However, differing views on rape (eg: the victims fault, innocent until guilty) can be (and usually are) un-feminist.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 30/08/2011 21:01

claig, was I attacking posters' styles? I don't think I did.

The nearest i came to 'personalizing' my argument was saying that ScottishMummy is being a hypocrite to use that mocking 'words on a screen' phrase but insist on her right to be offended by everything here. That is personal, but I could hardly engage with her argument without it!

If you wanted to defend how everyone should be heard, why is that everyone ... but not me?

Yes, I'm being horribly self-centred, I know. It's what happens when people insist on treating you like a mass of undistinguishable posters.

SinicalSal · 30/08/2011 21:02

Norma you are being unfair there - the Hmm face was from someone who struggled with the same issue you highlighted, I read it in a light hearted way though i can see how it could have been a bit ambigious. When the hmmmer realsied you were upset she immediately apologised.

Re the mra question the worst you can say is that 66% of the contributeors here are immediately helpful, and 33% can post in an off hand manner.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 30/08/2011 21:04

To be fair, sal, I would be fed up with getting a Hmm response.

scottishmummy · 30/08/2011 21:04

the basis of uk judiciary is innocent until guilty.what significant overhaul do you propose?

the system is flawed and statistically a rape conviction is bloody hard to obtain. but as unpalatable as it is some people do lie. and whilst this is a small minority it does occur.refusal to acknowledge or discuss doesn't make falsehoods disappear.it just creates a culture of some topics are excluded and unmentionable. despite it being known this does occur

scottishmummy · 30/08/2011 21:06

and 67.5% of statistics are probably made up 75% of time

claig · 30/08/2011 21:08

I don't think scottishmummy was offended. She is pretty tough and has heard all of the accusations of troll etc. for a long time. You said scottishmummy is rude across the forum. I think she is forthright and funny, not rude. It's a matter of opinion and style. I thought you were attacking her personally and attacking her style. I don't think that was called for.

I didn't say you shouldn't be heard. I don't think i mentioned you. You said you were not interested in the discussion, but I never said you should be silenced.

dittany was attacked by some for her style and scottishmummy has been attacked for her style. I just think that we should debate the issues without making it personal.

solidgoldbrass · 30/08/2011 21:08

Scottishmummy: A lot of people lie about having their mobile phones stolen, or about the value of other goods that were allegedly lost/stolen when they want to make insurance claims. We all know this is true. It doesn't mean that every poor sod who gets mugged has to put up with everyone around them going Hmm are you sure? didn't you maybe leave it lying around somewhere because you want a new one?

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