Some men really hate women being single don't they?

[solidgoldbrass]

inspired by a couple of other threads including the separatism one. Have you ever noticed that if a man you don't like or know or fancy is trying to persuade you to date him or spend time with him or even just talk to him, the only really effective way to make him fuck off is to tell him that you are another man's property. Just saying No, leave me alone, no thanks, actually I am having a conversation with my female friend and am not interested in talking to you, never seems to work until you throw in My Boyfriend or My Husband.

I disagree that they need to change their behaviour.

They ought to change it because they're behaving like wankers. But they don't need to change it because their behaviour isn't doing any harm. Men harassing women otoh, is doing harm. Men actually have far more control over changing such wanky women's behaviour - if every single man took No for an answer first time, those women would soon stop playing games, because they would know that the man was going to treat her response as if it actually mattered and she meant it. So women like your silly friends, would understand that if they gave a guy the brush-off, they would be passing up the opportunity of getting to know someone they might really like.

Quite Thistledew, you said it better and quicker than me!

What has this got to do with the thread Wamster? This is a thread about men who persist even after it has been made perfectly clear to them that their attentions are not wanted. As HerBex said are all women interchangeable? Why don't they just walk away from your friends if they are appearing that disinterested?

You don't seem to have a very high opinion of your friends (or women in general for that matter).

Normal men with dignity and commonsense, don't want to fraternise with game playing arseholes anyway.

Don'tCallMePeanut, well that is your mum and very sensible she seems, but not all mothers are as sensible as yours.

As a separate issue, there does seem to be a denial here about how people actually operate- people do repeat actions that they were successful with once and, if a man eventually gets off with a woman who has played the 'I'm not interested' game, he will think that he may need to be persistent again only this time he picks somebody who REALLY is not interested and makes a pain in the arse of himself.

Just because I think it is shit, doesn't mean to say this is not how people operate, and women have to stop playing the 'I'm not interested' game if they really are interested. They should just accept the drink from the start.

Or what Thistledew said

Whereas I agree, shouldn't you be preaching that to your friends who are playing the game?

And in the meantime, I'll stick to telling DS, DNephew and my male friends that if a woman says no, that's the answer they should accept. Not that they should pester to get the answer they want.

"Normal men with dignity and commonsense, don't want to fraternise with game playing arseholes anyway."

Definitely.

Oh, jeez, I am only trying to give you an EXPLANATION as to why some men are persistent, that is all. Trying to come up with some ideas as to why they behave they do. Whether their behaviour is right and wrong is a separate issue, I'm just trying to offer a few explanations.

Yet, no, somebody trying to say, 'Well I think the reason they may behave like this is because of ...' gets met with derision.

You don't like persistent men, fine, I think it is safe to say that there is disagreement between me and others about this, but, for goodness sake, you won't even entertain a perfectly plausible explanation for the behaviour of these men.

What to do if you won't even discuss why they do what they do? You won't solve any problems if you just wish to say things like, 'My friends don't do that... '. Some women do!

Empusa, Oh yes men with dignity and commonsense, do like to have sex with women who are arseholes. It's called no-strings attached sex and men seem awfully fond of that (as do some women).

I love how we can give all the examples of awful situations were men have felt like they've got some kind of right to demand a woman's attention, or where they've felt they are fine to follow and scare women, and the response from Wamster? Blame women.

Oh, of course.

Nice healthy dose of misandry there, wampster

Again. Not all men like to have sex with arseholes (aka no strings attatched), so stop generalising on the basis of a minority

saf Of course, wamster is right, women are known for saying no when they mean yes! Silly of us to think otherwise, and it's not like the assumption that women mean yes when they say no could possibly lead to any problems..

You've just contradicted yourself there Wamster.

Normal sensible men who want no strings sex, know they're not going to get that from game-players.

You want uncomplicated sex, you choose someone honest.

swallowedafly , you are unable to untie your dislike of me from my -at least worthy of some discussion- idea that men behave in a persistent manner with women because some women pretend not to be interested in them and make them wait.

Seriously, my explanation as to why men may behave the way they do has fck all to do with whether or not I actually agree* with male entitlement.

You throw all these buzzwords about, but I don't really think you think about anything much.

HerBeX, bullshit. Normal men who want uncomplicated sex have it with any woman who is reasonably attractive and willing.

"You won't solve any problems if you just wish to say things like, 'My friends don't do that... '. Some women do!"

according to you...

none of my friends or acquaintances would do this - but then i don't hang around with prats of either gender through choice. clearly your empathy for the fuckwit men being discussed is more understandable if most of the people you know act like wankers. now we have a perfectly plausible explanation for your behaviour on this thread i wonder what we can do to solve the problem?

I don't know, there's a healthy dose of misandry too. Would any man really act as if the male species are so narrow minded as to only think with their dicks? Could wampster be neither?

I agree with you there swallowedAfly. It's very hard to agree that a woman does not 'get' this stuff.

it's all so true. Who has not been hassled in a bar by some pushy man who won't take no for an answer?! and who does not also know that this doesn't happen if there is even ONE man in the group! It's not a cliché for NO REASON wamster.

I am trying to take the discussion further, I am trying to offer an explanation as to why these men are persistent and what can be done about it.

Perhaps part of the solution is that EVERYBODY -men and women- become honest with their dealings with one another? Obvously this is a ridiculous statement of mine and should be brushed off.