To all those who say on threads 'I am too scared to go into feminism' - this topic isn't scary!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I think it's a shame when I see threads where the OP says 'I am too scared to put this in feminism' or something.

I am certainly not knowledgeable about feminist theory, but have never felt that my opinion on this thread wasn't wanted or I was vilified for stating what I believed.

I think this topic is pretty inclusive - yes some people are forthright with their opinions, but nobody's word is god, and I would hate to think that mumsnetters were put off contributing to threads in this topic because they mistakenly think the posters on here are viragos.

Getorf - another reason I don't like posting in feminism, despite wanting to, is the way people make cryptic references to injokes and past events, which makes anyone who isn't a regular confused.

Indeed Ormirian. Why are we doing this again?

WriterofDreams - that happens all over MN.

I didn't have any problem with omg SGM, it was a different, very regular poster that the issue arose with. Again I want to make clear that she very kind afterwards and I have no problem with her now.

lets not take the bait!
tuts-im going out soon and i bet that by the time ive got back this would of turned into a big fight.

writer - it's hardly an in joke! It was a huge thread in AIBU. And it spawned a few more anti-feminist threads.

HandDived and SGM I think if someone posted a serious topic AIBU or Relationships wanting to discuss something and some posters came on making references to past threads (unless they were linking those threads in order to give advice) or taking over the thread with jokes (as they are here) they'd be told pretty quickly to stop or they would be ignored and the thread would continue regardless. Here I think the general etiquette doesn't hold up as well and people are quicker to start threads about threads (as they did with my thread) and to use injokes that non regulars just won't get. I'm relatively new to mumsnet but the feminism topic is the only place where I often feel confused about the point people are trying to make. That's not due to dense language or terminology it's due to cryptic posts that are intended for certain other posters but not for the thread as whole.

Unless you're a feminism regular you would not know what your post meant Ormirian. Usually people would say "There was a huge thread about this..." and perhaps link the thread.

I think theres humour in feminism and room for different types of feminist. Of courses theres the few who are 'my way is the only right way' type feminism. You find them everywhere. Ignore theml
And if the jargon confuses me i just ask. I dont use long words like dichotomy and sociological so i ask for plain english.

I think generally people expect a better etiquette here than on other boards WriterofDreams. And I wouldn't call this a serious thread. I would say that the people joking are trying to stop this thread from going the way of other threads which were vile and nasty and certainly do not need dredging up again.

I apologise writer. Maybe I am to close to the subject but it seemed to me that almost everyone on MN waded in. I must admit I thought you were there too. Sorry if not.

WoD Because I am desperately avoiding work I was interested, I read the thread you linked to. You did come across as confused and feeling unheard, but to me (as an outsider) it seemed that what you were saying was so far away from everyone else, that it was really inevitable.

The bit that did interest me was your point about people being rooted in their contemporary society and reluctant to change, and change needing to come slowly.

When I was 20 and really quite rabid, lots of women I knew were already married with children and lived at home while their husbands lived in the pub and generally behaved like overgrown and dificult children. I would speak to them about it all, and get told off, because "they know no difference and are happy with their lot." Sort of not the point. Especially as they weren't.

Fair enough SGM. That hasn't been my experience - I can honestly say I've never heard of the Boxroom troll or sanding man. As far I can remember those cryptic references are usually only made in lighthearted threads on chat and any time I've asked for clarification I've been given a link to thread that explains it. Any time I've asked for clarification here (apart from just there when Ormirian explained what her post meant) I've been told to read a book or that I was going to be ignored from there on. I haven't experienced that on any other topics.

writer honestly all of mumsnet is riven with injokes - it does do you head in when you are new (I didn't have a clue what the old fuckers were on about half the time) but it is better than it used to be. You would be having a conversation about mascara or whatever and then along would come 5 posters who would all talk about a barbecue at Brenda's house and you would feel like a spare dick.

Plus I am SO not an intellectual/theroetical feminist type, I know bugger all about it, and sometimes if a debate is getting too heavy I think sod it and go and talk about Peter Andre's haircut somewhere else on MN. But don't be intimidated about it, seriously.

Thanks Ormirian.

I'm not really intimidated, I find it frustrating really. I am interested in feminism and I'm aware that many of my views stray far from what a lot of feminists believe (as Hully pointed out). I haven't read a million books about it but I'm still interested in debate and I do find it quite dismissive when people just tell me "read this book and then you'll understand" or basically say they're not going to talk to me (which seems pointlessly mean IMO, seeing as I'm not a troll).

I'm not scared to post on the feminism section and I lurk a lot. But it is not Mumsnet at its finest to me. I rarely feel moved to join in. It is without doubt the quichiest corner of the site. Although everyone denies it til they are blue in the face, the threads ARE dominated by the rad fems, or at the very least that is a very common perception from "outside" the section - so, no smoke without fire, or something like that.