To all those who say on threads 'I am too scared to go into feminism' - this topic isn't scary!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I think it's a shame when I see threads where the OP says 'I am too scared to put this in feminism' or something.

I am certainly not knowledgeable about feminist theory, but have never felt that my opinion on this thread wasn't wanted or I was vilified for stating what I believed.

I think this topic is pretty inclusive - yes some people are forthright with their opinions, but nobody's word is god, and I would hate to think that mumsnetters were put off contributing to threads in this topic because they mistakenly think the posters on here are viragos.

I certainly hope she comes back!

yep-i agree with Proles.
im gutted that Dittany has gone and i hope she comes back.

In fact this whole thread is pretty sad. If in RL someone told me that me and my friends were intimidating I would be really sad and want to make it right and conversely if I felt unwelcome into a new group I'd be sad and probably wouldn't start my introduction with 'you're all unwelcoming'.

And 'sad' is a rubbish word.

I think dittany describes herself as a Rad fem....I'm pretty sure that's more extreme than someone that describes themselves as a feminist.

I have a big place in my heart, and brain, for her she's the one that made me see the light too.

But isn't it interesting that while Dittany has been away people have been complaining heavily about the board and her specifically? Even though she's not participated they're still complaining. They'll say it's cos she's such a 'bully' but there's maybe an element where people like her being around to get offended by and complain about. Why is her name being used so much on these threads? Surely they should be glad they don't have to engage with/refer to her at all now? Sometimes people protest too much. A lot of people love aggravation. And enjoy complaining about how other people make them feel bullied. Isn't that a form of bullying?

Do agree Proles.

SAF - yes, and they don't realise that they are doing it! It's mainstream thinking about appropriate female behaviour, applied in the form of complaints about bullying in ordert o get posters to modify their posts and arguments and communication style.

I'm tired of the term bullying -it's banded about all the time in such a lazy way.

yes-i agree floyjoy.
as ive said before-the word "scapegoat"comes to mind!
Saf-yep-very ironic isnt it.
and also agree with Proles again.

floy, I think there's a big element of people feeling they had a grievance against dittany, she's gone, so it must be the fault of 'the feminism section' or 'those of you who like the feminism section'.

I agree with SaF about the irony. It's really crap.

I hope dittany comes back. I thought her thread on mental health was cracking - feminism section at its best.

yup, you're right SaF.

and the other thing that is going on is that even when people do make an effort to take the criticisms on board the slagging off continues. Just as with when women are accused of aggression etc in RL.

SAF -I agree - you put it very well last night, too. I think it's a shame that women complain about how other women construct posts, conduct a debate as if there is some template that is agreeable to all. I think maybe people could do with more exposure to political forums to see the way people passionately put forward their arguments. This is politics, not just an innocuous section of MN - that's why the MRa trolls appear here.

Sparky -you made a very kind suggestion last night, that maybe the poster was bringing feelings of inadequacy to the forum, and I think that's actually a key point with some of these complaints.

LRD - I agree. The transgender thread was just fantastic, too. So many ideas to engage with that you just won't come across in the mainstream media.

There are so many great posts/threads. So much thought and caring about people and issues. And this is about thoughts, ideas, politics - not about how you compose them in this little box.

SAF - Exactly.

'not a tupperware party'

agree saf, with all you say. Although you do seem a little forceful poppet... is it your time of the month?

What awful treatment Lenin?

I honestly don't think Dittany is that OTT except where she suspects that someone is on a wind up. And granted sometimes she mgiht get that wrong. But tbh, so what? She's just one poster here, if you are so sensitive that you can no longer engage with feminism because Dittany was brusque with you, then you're probably not that interested in engaging with feminism tbh. And also, I really don't think Dittany ever engages in personal attack unless she has been attacked first. I can't ever think of a time where any piss-off-ness on her part, hasn't been preceded by some kind of whingeing or insult on the part of the person she is pissing off. People think they can say any old shit to feminists, be as attacking as they want and if we call them on it, we're bullies. It happens all the bloody time and what I've decided to do, is call people on it every time it happens.

Actually I say I've decided to do that, I had an instance of it today on another thread and I ignored it, because tbh there are too many insults to call.