Was Bristol Palin raped?

[darleneoconnor]

according to this bristol palin was so drunk when she conceived her son that she doesn't remember having sex.

Sounds like rape to me.

Then she was basically 'forced' to marry her rapist? WTF! Sometimes America sounds more like the middle east!

Quite a few forums are discussing this, with some

disgusting rape myths on this forum

'Do you know what was unfair - the first time Bristol Palin had sex she was so drunk she didn't know what happened to her. And the little shit got her pregnant.'

Eh? I thought she was 15 when they first has sex and 17 when she got pregnant; the two events did not coincide. Unless I can't add up, which is possible.

It's a dangerous path to go down when we start taking away any element of responsibility for our own behaviour.

I have lurked through the whole of this thread and as the mother of a DD and two DSs i have to say i 'm in agreement with hully.

With the greatest respect to Dittany who's opinions i also often agree with.

Women who go out 'on the pull' can be just as sexually agressive as men..i know because i've seen them in action.

My mate came round here one evening.
We both got wankered.
DS1 and his GF gave her a lift home.

She told me the next day that she had rolled in,started an argument with her DH and gone to bed.This much she remembered.

Her DH also went to bed.

In the morning her DH told her that she had pestered him for ages to shag her..
He declined,not finding the prospect with a drunk very appealing.

She could not remember...and was totally embarrassed.

If he had shagged her would that have been rape?

reeling, I don't think so. Clearly your friend, whilst still very drunk, had the capacity to consent. She was able to make her own decisions. I think what is meant by reasonable people when they refer to 'too drunk to consent' is when people are unable to consent either way, perhaps because they are passing out drunk, or just slurring and unintelligible.

I worry about the whole issue of consent wrt to sex.

My mother used to give me The Talk about how Boys Only Wanted One Thing repeatedly when I was nowhere near being sexually active (yes, I was a late starter), so it was quite irrelevant.
As a mother of 4 (little) boys I already wonder how to ensure that they internalise how important it is to respect any girl/woman they might be interested in and listen to her. OTOH, I don't want to scare them of having happy, enjoyable sexual relationships with somebody they are at least fond of.
There is a whole other thread in this (and this has been done before, I know), but I wish there was less pressure on girls and boys to 'perform' on a sexual level.

I also think there is a social construct that makes boys/men and girls/woman feel and behave differently after a drunken encounter: a girl is more likely to be embarrassed as 'good girls don't', whereas the boy is more likely to feel quite proud and manly . It is just not socially expected that a man would ever complain if he had been 'taken advantage' of.

I don't think it would have been rape either.

But she still couldn't remember in the morning.

Maybe that's what happened with Bristol Palin...

Maybe it wasn't.

But we'll never know so how can we judge?

Really, I think Bristol Palin is a bit of a distraction because none of us were there - thank goodness! -, there is the whole political angle to it and the reporting, even in her own book, will be skewed.

But it does open a wider question regarding rape and consent or lack of... very very difficult.

My now DH had to fight me off when we first met, not my finest hour, and he behaved impeccably. If he hadn't, it still would not have been rape IMO. I think calling that situation 'rape' does a disservice to victims of rape, whether they were violated by a stranger, their partner, with physical aggression or without.

"The little shit" did not get her pregnant.

She got pregnant later during the multiple instances of consensual sex. They both "got her pregnant".

slightly aghast at the idea that men want sons to play football with. Terribly sexist assumption.

Ah, no, Hully, my DH expects his DSs to watch motorracing with him which he reckons is not at all a stereotypically male past-time... .

Of course Levy did not get her pregnant on his own, but I still maintain he is a little shit as evidenced by his general behaviour: having sex with drunk underaged girl (whether it resulted in pregnancy or not), showing her little respect or kindness, his reaction to her pregnancy, his repeated infidelity, his now selling his 'story' of having been close to the Palins.
A Prince he is not....

Nobody, including Mommy Dearest, comes out of it bedecked in roses.

I have very little time for the Palins as they and their views represent everything I find wrong and frightening about some American attitudes.

I agree, nobody is looking good in this scenario, and one little 2 year old is in the midst of it

Now, see, motorbikes, they ARE exciting

Probably was a very sexist assumption of me, hully, fair call.

Maybe I just struggle with the desire to have a child of a particular sex in general.

I mean, I'd give anything right now to have another baby of any sex, as would dh, so the thought of anyone having a preference for one sex over another in such a strong sense that they would actually say it to their teenage gf when told she's pregnant somewhat baffles me.

Pacific, yes, it's so easy to forget theres a little baby involved in this, well reminded.

It's late here and I'm tired, so apologies if I don't manage to keep up with the thread from here.

I wanted all girls. Being a spare rib/greenham kind of feminist i couldnt imagine oarenting a boy!
I have two and they are now lovely young men....z

I had no preferences. And I wanted them to be good and decent human beings unhampered by gender nonsense.

I think a lot of people men and women want children of their own sex. I guess people identify with their own sex more, but of course in reality it doesn't matter.

This Canadian campaign is the kind of thing I think we should see more of. The stats about 48% of young men thinking it's not rape if the woman is too drunk to know what is going on is chilling.

Part of the same campaign.

This is pertinent too And after reading this thread I'm surprised it is only 48% of men that think it's OK to rape a woman if she's drunk.