Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

We're not agreeing to disagree. We're saying we all think you're wrong and yes please do give up and go away. Does that work for you?

That's fine - but I'm not wrong - if I was, female hair removing products wouldn't be worth millions - but we mustn't let facts get in the way of a feminist debate -

oh I love you lot.

except for Carmina, obviously, she can fuck off.

msrisotto Wed 16-Mar-11 20:54:26
I know Hecate said this aaages ago but I wanted to respond to it:
"I want to look like a woman. Is there really anything wrong with that?"
It's worth thinking about what 'looking like a woman' entails - a lot of hair removal, make up wearing and revealing clothes wearing. None of these things are actually anything to do with being a woman though and it could be considered weird that we require females to jump through these hoops to be considered a fully fledged member of the female gender.

---

well, yes. But I am going bald and I have a tash and beardy bit that actually is so thick and black that it looks like pubes and perhaps society has conditioned me to feel bad about that but I am ashamed of it. It is horrible. I don't feel like a woman when I look like a member of zztop! Is that conditioning? I suppose it is.

Would you stare if you saw me in the street with my shiney head and moustache?

Oh yes you would. Would you say look at that liberated, beautiful woman with the shiney head and long pube like beard?

LG - having hairy armpits makes you smell worse - the sweat gets trapped in the hair - it's really not hygenic

My friend has no hair and her head is beautiful!!

I use deodrant so don't smell (and don't shave my armpits - never have done and don't intend to start now - will join Flamingbingo in Starbucks anyday....)

Carmina - that's why I have a shower in my house

alex :)
so CB thinks we all look awful, are lazy and smell...... :)

I want to seek out that starbucks wearing shorts and a strappy top, so Carmina can enjoy my leg hair too!

{petty, childish emoticon}

my dh should be unbearably pongy then, with all the hair he has in his armpits...

I agree Hecate, it's probably not just your own conditioning, it's also based on a pragmatic assessment that if you don't look enough like society's idea of a woman you will have to put up with even more shit and you're not particularly up for that right now.

I want to restate, this is not about pressurising people into doing something that doesn't feel right for them.
In fact my initial post partly stemmed from a feeling of 'hang on a minute, why am I doing this when I'll feel just as good and possibly even better without doing it?'

It's been interesting to look at what people on this thread who have never shaved their legs or done any of the rest of this stuff anyway, say.
They are not saying 'Oh yes, I managed to stop, I really had to force myself, it was hard but worth it.' It's more a 'I've never really done that stuff', 'it's never really occurred to me to do it', 'I've never really wanted to' type thing.

and I think certain changes, in your life, or your journey as a feminist, or in the whole feminist environment, can sometimes pick you up quite effortlessly and put you down in a place where what feels right is something different.
For me and I guess for a lot of us on this thread, that is what has happened. There will be people it hasn't happened to, for a variety of reasons, and that's absolutely fine, they can, as Dittany said, defeat the patriarchy in heels and lippy.

I have plucked (no pun intended) up the courage to read this thread and want to applaud you all (except the haters obviously).

As for me - it's a bit like that St. Augustine quote - "Give me chastity...but not yet."

you use soap, Lenin?! I hope that's not a soap with a girly scent!

Perhaps I should use conditioner on my armpit hair, to make it soft and silky (or so the adverts promise), to make it look better and more attractive to the carminas of this world

My dh used to use Axe (is it still called Lynx in the UK?) Volcanic somethingorother shower gel, and I liked the smell, actually!

You can't resist femininity

is that a new fregrance? :)

"Have hairy legs if you want, honestly you will look awful."

Says who? You don't even know her. Julia Roberts looked pretty stunning with body hair, you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

I think women who think like that are in the minority I really have no opinion either way on hair leg on men or women and I don't think as many women do as some feminists may think!