Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

Who said anything about not wanting to look good, Carminaburana?

I just disagree with you about what makes me look good. I don't find hairy armpits unsightly, why would I? Men walk around with hairy armpits and no one thinks anything of it - it's exactly the same thing on my body. And I don't generally spend my time looking at people's armpits anyway.

If you think it looks awful then try looking at the person's face instead.

I'm sure you are lovely, LeninGrad. Personally, I am truly gorgeous, in my hairy state. Perhaps because I am so stunning no one worries about my hairiness. Or perhaps that just adds to my overall gorgeousness...

1. There is something very odd about calling other women ugly on the Internet. You can't see me. You know that right?

1. There is something very odd about marching into a nice good-natured conversation where people are planning something as a kind of interesting experiment shouting 'Stop that! It's wrong!'. Do you do that IRL?

I didn't say anyone was ugly - I said hairy legs and arm pits are unattractive. I also said men shave and cut their hair - they do it because it makes them look better.

You don't have to be hairy to make a point -

The only sign of strength is being happy with the way you look, regardless.
If you are offended by armpit hair, what on earth would you think of me with my scarred face, I have a skin graft the size of a penny under my eye, I don't cover it up and people don't recoil in horror, in fact most people don't see it unless I point it out.
Confidence comes from the way you feel not the way you look. My husband doesn't think I'm ugly if I don't shave my legs or armpits, nor would have found me repulsive if I'd have had to have both breasts removed if I'd been found to have the BC gene, which thankfully I don't .
Carmina, do you think it's weak for a woman to choose to have her breasts removed with no reconstruction afterwards? I think it's the ultimate sign of strength actually, I know a few women who have gone through this.
Do you think that women who have lost all their hair because of chemo, but who choose not to wear a wig, are ugly too?

I didn't say women were ugly - this is about 'rejecting femininity on purpose - ie, choosing not to shave your legs etc - it's not about unavoidable medical conditions which is a completely different and non comparable issue.

I'm perfectly feminine in my and my husband's opinion, thank you very much carmina. I have smiley eyes, soft lovely skin, a rather impressive cleavage, like to wear dresses and have lovey thick long hair on my head. I just cannot be fagged to shave my legs every single day - and yes, I would need to because it grows that fast - or go through the agony of being plucked like a chicken in my nether regions. And so long as my DH loves me and I'm happy, why would I even need to worry about being attractive to anyone else? I have a clean face, brushed hair, clean, neat clothes and I'm a friendly, open person. That is enough for me, and I don't need to please you or meet your definition of attractiveness to have a good life. Thankfully my family and friends and work colleagues seem to agree with me, and that is what makes me happy.

dittany - if you want I'll love your chin hair and you can love mine :)

I think it's about time 'femininity' was reclaimed as a word, actually. It seems to be synonymous with 'groomed, tweezed and compliant' these days which I think is nonsense.

Who says that having hairy armpits or legs is unfeminine? We don't call men unmasculine because they've shaved off all their nice manly facial hair. I think we need to undo some of this social conditioning that says hair on women is unsightly, and that's the point of this thread, surely.

Carminaburana - "this is about 'rejecting femininity on purpose - ie, choosing not to shave your legs"

the way I see it, you choose TO shave your legs, perhaps you are purposely rejecting your natural femininity.

By the way, not all men shave and cut their hair, and society does not see this as a problem. Why then is it a problem if women do not wish to remove their body hair?

[sends waves of love and appreciation to LeninGrad]

Society would see it as a problem if all men started to look like Mel Gibson/Braveheart ( although I think I'd cope ) of course some men have long hair and beards, but not many. - can you imagine David Cameron with long hair? In fact I can't think of a single PM that's even had a beard. ( Michael Foot was slaughtered for just being a bit 'scuffry' - even though he had a brilliant mind) so men have to conform too. Maybe even more than we do.

Have hairy legs if you want, honestly you will look awful. - but I won't lose any sleep over it.

I won't lose any sleep over your opinion, either. I have had hairy legs for years now. If you think I look awful then frankly that is your problem. I know that I am gorgeous, that's what matters.

(Sorry for appalling spelling - )

I think We'll just have to disagree on this one

AIBU to want to stop shaving my legs and armpits just so I can search out Carmina's local starbucks and flounce around in there with my arms in the air as much as possible?