Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

This board is the most frightening .

582 replies

fangbanger · 25/02/2011 23:25

Apparently.

I am a little saddened that a forum mostly used by women, has decided that the feminist boards are the most frightening of the forum.

Why do we feel that is? What can be done to prevent people from feeling so intimidated that they are too scared t post?

OP posts:
JaneS · 26/02/2011 00:33

I suspect my corset quails at the thought of Andrea quite as much as she would have at the thought of it, hully.

Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 00:33

I think any group of strong-minded, intelliget women who are passionate about particular topics can appear intimidating to those not yet part of the group.
Especially if the onlookers/lurkers feel that they really should know more about it than they do, but don't see any alternative because it is a choice between staying on the sidelines, or hitting rush hour at 70mph on the M25 the day after passing your test.
All or nothing, and some choose nothing.
feminism 101 with some patience and simple clear explanations sounds like a good idea.
No one learns if they are scared. To busy thinking 'Oh bother, how do I escape?'

MogadoredMemoo · 26/02/2011 00:34

I started that thread and was one of the posters who said I found this forum scary, but I mean because I feel like I am not very good at articulating my thought and feelings, and I'm not particularly knowledgeable on the subject like the majority of people on here. So the problem lies within me, it is not cause by the people on this board.

I didn't mean to offend anyone. I would actually consider myself a feminist. I know I have spent a great deal of my life frustrated by the restraints that being a woman seems to put on me. and as I get older my frustration is turning into anger because I have realised just how deep it goes. I find myself unable to watch a lot of TV programmes now because of the way woman are portrayed. Also, when I was younger I thought porn was harmless, now I am deeply anger by it because I can see how damaging it is.

The problem I have is I don't know what to do about it, I wouldn't even know where to begin. And I want to know what I can do about it because as a mother of 2 girls I don't want them to grow up feeling inferior and that their value is judged by their physical appearance.

Even writing this I feel nervous, because I'm not sure if I even make sense,

And just for the record I have deepest respect for you all.

Hullygully · 26/02/2011 00:36

All the fear is in your head.

Feel the love.

We shall start fem-lite and grow together.

Let's all sing.

BooyFuckingHoo · 26/02/2011 00:36

i don't have trouble articulating what i think, i have trouble knowing what i think until someone here says it and then i say "yes, that's what i think".

Hullygully · 26/02/2011 00:36

Remember consciouness-raising groups?

Their time has come again.

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 00:37

I have found this an angry place...and have had comments directed at me in tones which were patronising and in some cases upsetting. That was a while ago and under another name...I'm tough enough to take it but I suspect many aren't and would not have the balls or the interest to hang around.

I am a feminist...but always feel as though I'm unqualified to comment on here.

dittany · 26/02/2011 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeterAndreForPM · 26/02/2011 00:38

this is actually the safest space on MN

if I had something sensitive to post I would do it here

it is just as googlable, just as public

but the protection offered by such intelligent, razor-sharp, eagle-eyed, strong women is immense against the marauding fuckwits and inadequates who like to search out people to pick on

I have seen it in action, and it is awesome

Hullygully · 26/02/2011 00:38

But still, dittany, don't you think a nice consciousness-raising fem-lite section would be good?

Let us draw people with love and help them see.

BooyFuckingHoo · 26/02/2011 00:39

seejanekick, i also feel unqualified, but i dont feel unwelcome here. i think the motto must be "if any of this sounds right to you then you will fit in here." i really do mostly lurk but not through fear anymore, just that i am enjoying learning so much.

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 00:39

When I pop in I feel like it's a bit of a treat...a sort of indulgence because I know that I won't have the nerve to have much opinon on many threads...or I will get ignored...not sure why THAT should feel like a treat but it does somehow!

JaneS · 26/02/2011 00:39

Booy - me too! I really like that about this section, especially when it's a topic I've either not thought hard about, or a topic where I know I've slightly uneasily clung to the ideas everyone else seems to think are right. It's really nice having people around who take the time to explain things slowly and don't take your every question as an implicit attack - which honestly seems to be what happens on lots of other boards.

MogadoredMemoo · 26/02/2011 00:40

I think a fem-lite section is a good idea, even though I agree it sounds like a tampon for teenagers.

MogadoredMemoo · 26/02/2011 00:41
Hullygully · 26/02/2011 00:41

We can have another name, if you prefer. The important thing is to have a space where people feel comfortable asking questions and exploring views who may not have done much of it before.

dittany · 26/02/2011 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyFuckingHoo · 26/02/2011 00:42

Grin@ mog

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 00:42

I battle daily to make my DDs have no fear of men...no idea that they should do as they're told or cow-tow in any way...sometimes have to battle DH wh is lovely and very enlightened in many ways...but he's entrenched in the old way f thinking to some degree and I have to give him the "look" to make him undo some comment or action which may affect my DDs in a negative way...enforce steryoptypes.

I'll try to come in here more often and not be afraid.

Prolesworth · 26/02/2011 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 00:44

dittany...I am also afrid to join the book club...though I have a huge interest in feminist writing...I feel like if I try to read Vilette and then comment I will be going

"Waffle waffle, blah" and none of what I think will be relevant...how "serious" will the club be? And is Vilette heavy?

dittany · 26/02/2011 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaneS · 26/02/2011 00:46

dittany, not knocking what you're saying, but I still find the book threads quite hard to tackle and I've been posting here a little while now. I just feel as if I'm more comfortable basing my ideas on what I can reason out and what I see in my daily life.

I don't know how typical it is, but I would think at least some newbies will be 'new' precisely because they've not found the existing literature about feminism has quite got through to them, like me?

If I'd read 'Letters of a Fainthearted Feminist' (which is, er, still the only book mentioned on here I've read and not exactly highbrow) before I got used to posting on here, I'm not convinced I would have 'got' it.

MogadoredMemoo · 26/02/2011 00:47

joining the book thread is a good idea, definitely a good place to start.

Hullygully · 26/02/2011 00:47

Yes, I think a lovely chat would be a good intro, and then we could move to the literature and theories once people felt ready/interested.