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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

This board is the most frightening .

582 replies

fangbanger · 25/02/2011 23:25

Apparently.

I am a little saddened that a forum mostly used by women, has decided that the feminist boards are the most frightening of the forum.

Why do we feel that is? What can be done to prevent people from feeling so intimidated that they are too scared t post?

OP posts:

dittany · 26/02/2011 01:13

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Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 01:15

Don't be sorry LRG, they tend to stay out of our safe space, and those of us that argue on the main boards are usually up for it and confident about our stance. Hones you for when you face it in RL with a child in tow.

lemonsquish · 26/02/2011 01:15

How horrible...seems there are trolls everywhere. Some people have nothing better to do with their time.

Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 01:16

That's why SN is opt in.

Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 01:19

Oddly enough, my son is very open to feminism, and women's rights. Having Aspergers and being able, he is also driven by logic.
Most reasons why women can't/shouldn't/mustn't are not based on logic and so don't make sense to him.

Maryz · 26/02/2011 01:21

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Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 01:30

itsalarf · 26/02/2011 08:06

Well, that thread about scary groups is what has pushed me to post and read over here, so perhaps it is a good thing to have these conversations? I am just starting to educate myself and am going to do more theory reading, although have always identified as a feminist. So bear with me as I get more knowledgeable!

LeninGrad · 26/02/2011 08:28

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itsalarf · 26/02/2011 08:39

I would love a beginners thread! Something to cut my teeth on.

LadyBiscuit · 26/02/2011 08:46

Morning :) I have been a feminist for so long that I don't post much because I'm lazy. I enjoy reading though and think of this topic like going to the Bull in the Archers - familiar and comforting.

I am really sorry that some people feel that they have had their heads bitten off - I suspect that sometimes in the heat of the argument when there are trolls kicking about, people get caught in the crossfire. But it's a bit crap if people feel that they can't explore their thinking without being shouted down.

So I think a patient thread is a good idea.

tinierclanger · 26/02/2011 08:46

Hello. Perhaps I will delurk and start posting...

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/02/2011 08:51

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StewieGriffinsMom · 26/02/2011 08:55

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TheSecondComing · 26/02/2011 09:08

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AliceWorld · 26/02/2011 09:12

Good morning delurkers and lurkers
I went to bed before this thread, but I was thinking about this in the night (as well as dreaming about mumsnet) and whether there was any solution. I was thinking of the beginners thread, and then wondering how it works. If it's just for beginners, who do the questions get asked to? Or is it not about questions being answered? And if it's for questions people come in and answer, then who answers them? The problem is there isn't one feminism and we don't all agree, so how do we stop it from becoming a discussion much like any other?

These are genuine concerns I had about how to do it, not a way of saying let's not do it, but trying to work out how to do it. If that makes sense. I think it's a good idea in general.

I had vague, middle of the night ideas about an 'open day' staffed by different people at different times of the day, so there was always someone around to engage, but we didn't all engage en masse and then it would just become like usual. That was middle of the night btw.

Normantebbit · 26/02/2011 09:13

I think Goblinchild had a good point. I think that the feminist section is intimidating if you don't have the 'right' language to describe your views or haven't read the right books.

When it works well it is fascinating ( and I am more conscious of feminist perspectives now) but sometimes it disappears up its arse.(IMHO)

Am loving feminist lite.

Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 09:14

'If 2 or 3 of you are on a thread saying 'come over to feminism and we'll sort you out\explain it' it is very patronising.'

Being invited to come somewhere different, to discuss something that an individual might find confusing, is patronising?
People are often advised to come over to SN and ask a question they have posed on the main boards, because there might be more knowledge and expertise there. I don't think anyone has said that it was smug or patronising to do so. Just seems a sensible next step when trying to gather information.

charitygirl · 26/02/2011 09:17

I'd like to see a myth-busting thread on feminism somewhere, that could be referred to in perpetuity. So, when someone well-intentioned (or not) trots out the 'i thought feminism was all about choice - aren't poledancers just making a choice?' or 'have feminists ever considered that they would win more people to their argument if they were less angry' we could direct them to a patiently worded resource, rather than them getting a load of totally understandable 'FFS!' s from women who've heard these things a million times before.

I know these sites already exist but it would be nice to have them on MN - might carry more weight too with posters here.

Goblinchild · 26/02/2011 09:17

AliceWorld, I think the question is less who answers the questions as to how they are answered. No one has the right answer, there are as many different forms of feminism as there are sn, what works for one doesn't for another.

charitygirl · 26/02/2011 09:22

And I must just add - I read a lot of race based forums but don't post (I'm white). I don't consider that they are too intimidating (though I bet they'd squish me flat if I was out of my depth) - I'm reading to learn from those better informed, I don't NEED to post. I know this isn't an exact parallel because we are all women, but it's ok to just listen and learn - even if you're learning you disagree. I didn't post anywhere for years, and there are still some 'advanced' feminism blogs where I think it's best if I just watch!

And, if you think the mainstream threads on MN which touch on feminism are bad, the race ones are staggeringly full of fail. if I didn't think it would expose posters of colour to unnecessary hassle, I'd love to see a section on race and racism.

AliceWorld · 26/02/2011 09:24

Charitygirl - Like a sticky for feminism 101? Would that make people feel like they weren't able to participate unless they knew its contents though? I know I don't.

Goblinchild - yes agree with the how. Was trying to get my head round the logistics of how a beginners thread could stay so rather than become like any other thread. Mind you I have seen threads where people say "I don't know about this, please explain' and from what I've seen they stay in that vein? I'm not sure I would be best at knowing that though.

LeninGrad · 26/02/2011 09:24

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Normantebbit · 26/02/2011 09:27

It's the FFS response which is off putting to people, I think. It may be a well worn argument but it one worth having - and the idea that just because it is a choice doesn't mean it's feminist, is a novel one to many people.

If you are bored or frustrated by the discussion why not leave it to others to work it out themselves?

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/02/2011 09:27

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