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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

This board is the most frightening .

582 replies

fangbanger · 25/02/2011 23:25

Apparently.

I am a little saddened that a forum mostly used by women, has decided that the feminist boards are the most frightening of the forum.

Why do we feel that is? What can be done to prevent people from feeling so intimidated that they are too scared t post?

OP posts:
Tortington · 26/02/2011 23:26

JessinAvalon Sat 26-Feb-11 19:35:29
Me too. Do you think men are innately superior to women, Custardo? That's what I think when I hear a woman say that she's not a feminist - i.e. that she doesn't believe in equal rights and opportunities for women.
---
ah, you cannot be more mistaken. see previous post

Tortington · 26/02/2011 23:32

LeninGrad Sat 26-Feb-11 19:46:31
yes indeedy leningrad your post makes sense, but i think that it is indeed hard for anyone who holds a different view to discuss it. which is a shame becuase you will effectivley have a board of people who all agree and then i am not sure that there is any debate. But my view is that debate is stifled somewhat because sometimes this section seems as though it doesn't want to listen to other points of view.

Tortington · 26/02/2011 23:36

thought i should add that i realise re posting a post can in some circles be seen as passive aggressive, i assure you that i only mean to answer posts directed to me in context.

dittany · 26/02/2011 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 26/02/2011 23:42

What's wrong with a whole lot of people who agree with the principles of feminsim and want to call themselves feminists getting together to talk.

nothing, have i said there was dittany? if so please tell me where - re-post it in context and perhaps i can explain?

It's like saying that the conservative party should be welcoming to greens or left wingers or that the Labour party should invite the BNP in.

are you saying here that the feminist board is for feminists only?

There is lots of debate on here. If you mean is it difficult for people with anti-feminist or sexist views to air them here, then yes it is. Feminists resist those things. If we didn't we wouldn't be feminists.

are you inferring that i am anti feminist or sexist or that those views should be tolerated?

I have never seen woman= feminist on here,

please see :JessinAvalon Sat 26-Feb-11 19:35:29

feminsits are well aware that plenty of women are anti-feminist.

i don't doubt that some are, i do doubt that you are the spokensperson for every living or dead feminist.

SalandersBro · 26/02/2011 23:48

newbie bloke hre. 4 days in and posting on the feminsts thread today. unless there is some history, I am not seeing dittany poster as the last word on feminism, nor herre setting herself up as such.
any movement has it's nawing, difficult phases - it's needed.

dittany · 26/02/2011 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeterAndreForPM · 26/02/2011 23:54

custardo bum note

considering the good feeling and ground given by the feminist posters on here this evening, there was absolutely no reason for that Hmm

have some Wine fgs

AgeingGrace · 26/02/2011 23:59

Some of you are a bit too quick to "She Who Is Not With Me Is Against Me" though. Life's too short to spend it debating whether I'm feminist enough for a particular group. I'm not as much "with you" as many would like, but that doesn't mean I'm against you. It does mean I feel unwelcome at many of these threads, though.

A bunch of people who agree with one another are perfectly free to exchange their similar views amongst themselves. In such a case, it should be obvious why the group finds it difficult to draw in others.

Yes, I say "I am a feminist because I'm a woman".

AgeingGrace · 27/02/2011 00:02

x-post, custardo.

I shall now retreat (again) to somewhere with broader horizons.

SalandersBro · 27/02/2011 00:05

And I say "yes, I am a bloke...and I'm not so sure about the feminst thing, but am getting a bit unsure about the fights that seem to happen here about definitions so I will wing it for a bit and talk to people in fishnet as that is my immediate concern as we have lost one fish and the other is looking a bit ddogey thisevening though I have painted the kitchen today which I am really pleased about.".

Tortington · 27/02/2011 00:10

nothing, have i said there was dittany? if so please tell me where - re-post it in context and perhaps i can explain?"

This custarodo:

"you will effectivley have a board of people who all agree and then i am not sure that there is any debate. But my view is that debate is stifled somewhat because sometimes this section seems as though it doesn't want to listen to other points of view."

that is not in context

What do you mean by other point of view, because the only points of view I know that this section resists is anti-feminism or misogyny. I can't see why you'd object to that or see it as "stifling debate".

i don't object to that at all, however i feel it is difficult when one identifies oneself as a non feminist - not anti, to have a debate on this board. If you only want people who ideologically identify with feminism to contribute, then this is fine.

"are you saying here that the feminist board is for feminists only?"

I'm saying it's not welcoming to anti-feminists or sexists, nor should it be.

you are the only person to mention anti feminists or sexists. unless you are indeed inferring that i am one?

Tortington · 27/02/2011 00:12

anyway i think this exchange proved my point perfectly

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 27/02/2011 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sakura · 27/02/2011 00:17

Oh for heavens sake,
The feminist topic is a counter-culture topic. It rejects the mainstream POV. That's the whole point of it.

I do not understand why some people are now saying feminism should be more palatable to the mainstream point of view, or even that it should become the mainstream point of view, because then everyone would feel better about its existence.

People don't like feminism because it forces them to take a good long hard look at themselves and their lives.

If a lurker is genuinely curious, then just ask questions. Or read . If you strongly believes in a particular POV, and someone on feminims opposes it, then so what? If you believe in it, what does it matter what a random person on the interweb says about it. Is your belief that shaky?

dittany · 27/02/2011 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SalandersBro · 27/02/2011 00:20

it is isn't it? and so useful this evening. On mumsnet?? I haven't started finding these tresures.

Tortington · 27/02/2011 00:31

sakura, leaving the point about this just being the interweb at the door, i am firm in my beliefs, the topic of the thread is about feminism topic being frightening

dittany believes that everyone but anti feminists and sexists are made most welcome.

i am not and anti feminists or a sexist. I have seen other women who do not identify themselves as feminists too, infac there was a whole anti v's non feminist - what's the difference, kind of discussion, however if you do 'come out' and identify yourself as not being a feminist - in the context of a discussion ofcourse, then it can get quite hairy. I can fully understand why people wouldn't want to engage in this topic.

JessinAvalon · 27/02/2011 00:37

Custardo-I'm still not clear why you are so keen to distance yourself from the feminist label.

dittany · 27/02/2011 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 27/02/2011 00:44

I might quite legitimately say "I am a feminist because I am a woman" because I suspect that my experiences as a woman are one of the reasons why I have noticed so much inequality and discrimination (although my views have become much stronger as my children have grown up, so I might qualify that by saying as a woman and a parent). What wouldn't be so true is to say "because I am a woman I am a feminist" as it implies that women are somehow naturally feminists.

Personally I expect women to have feminist views if not to be activists. I would hope that most men too would agree with the basic tenets of feminism, in the same way that I would hope that most people aren't racist.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 27/02/2011 00:54

But it's not just about views being unwelcomed. It's a given that sexist or anti-feminist are going to be unwelcome on a feminist board. What many posters are saying is that despite the fact that they are feminists or non (as opposed to anti) feminists, they still feel intimidated at times. I therefore disagree with your particular political party analogy Dittany because this isn't analagous to the Labour Party conference welcoming a BNP speaker. It's more analagous with the Labour party being unwelcoming to someone with Fabian principles, or agreeing to appear in a televised interview with John Sergeant and finding instead that the host is Jeremy Paxman.

Most intelligent posters enjoy debates, but they don't want their posts to be picked apart, cut and pasted several times so that the overall message and tone of their posts are lost and most of all I suspect, they don't want an argument.

Tortington · 27/02/2011 00:57

I think on mumsnet i certain;y do not get any brownie points for identifying myself thus. Actually my ideological or Ppolitical label goes down well in mainstream society either, as it isn't mainsteam.

as i said, i only do so within topic which has happened a couple of times. It would be nice to have a discussion, yes, i think that is what i would like out of any contribution, as would any non identifying contributors without feeling frightened as the thread title suggests. of course i am not frightened, clearly

Thay · 27/02/2011 00:58

Perhaps if ppl stop bullying others could help. I was desmoralised because i was in a hurry and wrote WID and SUM .

Tortington · 27/02/2011 00:59

doesn't go down well - that should read

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