This board is the most frightening .

[fangbanger]

Apparently.

I am a little saddened that a forum mostly used by women, has decided that the feminist boards are the most frightening of the forum.

Why do we feel that is? What can be done to prevent people from feeling so intimidated that they are too scared t post?

It depends on your area of interest what you find frightening. Personally I find the feminist section rather cosy, while I avoid some of the mumsnet topics like the plague, and don't dare post in a couple of topics at all.

It's hard, perhaps impossible, to have every discussion starting from the lowest common denominator, someone who knows nothing of or is sceptical about feminism. If you have to start from scratch on every thread you can't actually discuss anything. Just as if I went on, say, Good Housekeeping threads and asked what a jaycloth is.

Maybe there is a place for introductory feminism but not all the time, and the nice thing (for me) about the Feminism board is that certain things are assumed and you can move on and actually talk about things from a similar starting point.

red, you are entitled to your opinion

honestly you are

you are right, the "intro" threads have only come into being because of another thread that said that Feminism/Womens Rights was one of the most feared areas

but the language you use is a bit OTT, IMO, and I am not surprised people are at your posts

but don't go away, all opinions are valid

Grace - I am very sad that you feel like that. I really value your posts.

I struggle with anyone who doesn't call themselves a feminist but I'm really willing to engage with those who aren't sure. And actually I'd probably find that more interesting than talking to a lot of women who are where I am (I don't mean that to be at all patronising but back-slapping is not what I'm about)

I think the fact that so many women choose to actively define themselves as not feminists is a really big struggle and one we all need to engage in. If women are being alienated then we need to ask why. I'm not saying that there needs to be any dumbing down but I don't think a bit of navel-gazing is a bad thing.

I also regret that you feel scared Grace but having seen a few threads you've been on here, I do see why.

I don't think we can dismiss that some regular Mumsnetters feel intimidated from posting on this board. The reasons being given are pretty varied, but the main ones seem to be a lack of intellectual confidence, being harangued for their posts when they wanted a debate, not an argument - and a couple of posters have said that their posts are always ignored.

I've seen that too and would also add that some of that happened to me on a recent thread on this board. If lots of posters are making those observations, not to mention the possibility that there are lurkers who really are too afraid to post even on a thread that invites their concerns, then I do think it's a problem that we can't overlook.

However, I think it's also true of AIBU and there might be other boards that posters also find scary. I think it's really welcome that the OP here has had the courage to start a thread about it.

I think we all accept that trolls and shit-stirrers are going to get short shrift if they post on any board, but I think we'd be disingenuous if we ignored the testimony here that posters who tend to be regular, respected contributors on other boards, feel they've had a particularly hard time on this one.

If the effect of that is to deter contributions from a wider sample of posters, then I think we should listen to posters' concerns and instead of getting defensive, take the sort of positive action that we've seen today e.g. starting a questions/views thread about the porn industry, the "welcome" and Introduction to Feminism thread. They are all really positive, helpful actions, but that atmosphere needs to permeate all the threads, IMO.

Thanks, LadyBiscuit :)

There are loads of topics here that I'd like to engage with. But I invariably get scared off by tactics not dissimilar to the ones I challenged on the dreaded bullying thread. Now, I'm not getting into definitions of bullying again and I'm not picking out any specific examples here. Just trying to say that it's not a matter of dumbing down ime, more a question of quichery and attitude.

If you find my point invalid, perhaps you might (collectively) ask yourselves why this topic always prompts a flurry of posts about dumbing down. What does that say about how you see "non-approved" FWR members?

grace...sometimes it's not the topic per se, but individual posters who seem to monopolise it at certain points that can be the problem

(am not talking about the feminism topic here, more a general MN thing)

there have been some very unpleasant threads recently, and some unpleasant traits appearing in regular posters

one of 'em got banned for it just a couple of days ago

I think a lot of people had their eyes opened, and I don't blame them for it

for a "support" website, this place hasn't really lived up to its tagline all that well in the last few days, tbqh

< again, not talking about the feminism topic, because I luvs it >

I do believe it will settle down though, the chippiness will pipe down, and all will be well again

perhaps when the kids go back to school, and we all get back into our normal routines > < lives in hope >

I forgot for a moment this was on the Feminism board, so sorry about that

but I wanted to reassure grace, 'cos I luvs her

Luff U 2 Peter

A bit late, but I don't find this section scary at all, generally it seems to me that in here people listen to each other, not necessarily agreeing at all but responding.

I wonder of people feel that they've been "tag teamed" sometimes on here and that's why it's scary? I imagine that if you get a flurry of replies all saying similar things in disagreement within a short space of time, that would feel quite intimidating.

aha

you loves the oiled-up one

I knew it

Oh god, that was a horrendous metaphor. Sorry.

I meant ambushed.

That x post didn't help, Peter

I think that happens in other areas more, pot

as evidenced by the twitter debacle just a couple of days ago

I like to dumb things down every so often... it's my M.O.

it's meant to reassure, but quite often unintentionally horrifies

Feminism always attracts strong emotions, it always has, and so I don't see it as at all surprising that a feminist board will get people quite upset. To me feminism isn't just about "supporting women" but about challenging a whole system, and questioning many assumptions that most people seem to live by or take for granted.

That's not always a very cosy position. and it does mean that people can feel pretty challenged by it. And that's even if you do manage to keep things friendly, it still touches on very personal issues.

In real life I experience my feminist friends and colleagues as massively supportive, also some of the feminists I've got to know well through mumsnet.

But for feminism to truly work and move us forward, we must take all our sisters with us, and everyone is at different stages of the journey and needs love whilst they travel.

we just need hully

that is all

Oh, I agree, LG. I don't really see a problem with how things are at the moment and was just trying to put myself in other people's shoes. I tend to think thatt if I get ignored or misunderstood, I know I need to express myself better or repeat myself. If I feel threatened, I know I need to look at my thinking first before I have a fit. I've been a bit schooled in another forum setting, though, so that helps.

I think what fucks me off is the accusations of rudeness etc that come from posters who have been blunt, patronising and dismissive towards feminism.

Oops - posted too soon.

We all play very nicely here, I think, and only respond in kind when frustrated with bad manners.

dittany Sat 26-Feb-11 19:30:46
Custardo, why would you come into the feminist section and announce you aren't a feminist. It seems an odd thing to do. I don't expect every woman to be a feminist, but if she comes to this section to announce she isn't, I don't see what's wrong with asking why.

The whole rest of the world is one where other points of view can dominate and where feminism is not heard or if it is, dismissed. It doesn't seem unreasonable to expect that feminist views will prevail in the Feminist section.

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As you well know dittany, i wouldn't and indeed didn't just saunter onto a feminist thread and proclaim out of the blue that i wasn't a feminist. that would be more than slightly odd wouldn't it?

There have been threads along the lines of woman = feminist and surely every woman is a feminist...well of that nature anyway. it is in this context that i would say that i am not.

i also do not think it is unreasonable in the slightest that feminist views are held in the feminist section and i never said otherwise. But i do not think it an unreasonable statement to say that a lesser mortal than i can feel threatened if they hold a different view and come on this board.

LadyBiscuit Sat 26-Feb-11 19:34:32
You're welcome WWIFN I want to acknowledge the work that you do.

custardo - what do you mean? Can I ask why you don't consider yourself a feminist? I'm always a bit bemused when women say that.

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i think this proves the point of my last post. I would not identify myself as a feminist ideologically or Ppolitically. this does not mean that i am anti-feminist or that i beleive that women are treated equally to men.