OMFG, you're not going to believe what just happened. Ever wished you'd said XYZ after the conversation? Well today, I did say it all.
I picked DD up from kindergarten and took her and DS to the park and who did I bump into but a Swiss guy I vaguely used to know from when I used to go to Japanese classes years ago.
There are so few foreigners here that when you see one you tend to have a chat, especially if they're about the same age as you.
Turns out this guy is a priest and is here on a mission, and has set up his own church. Fine, fine. Apparently his uncle is also here, and has set up another church. Fine, great. he's just come back from a year in Africa.
From the questions he was asking I could see he was gauging my reaction and trying to find out if I was a Christian.
Then, before I knew it he was trying to convert me to God, telling me there is a plan for me, God loves me etc. But it was scary. I mean his behaviour was creepy and rapisty, but I didn't realise it at first because of course as a woman I've been programmed to be self-efacing and deferential. I just excused him as being very passionate about his faith.
But it suddenly occured to me how ridiculous he was being. It was as ridiculous as me trying to convince him to be a radical feminist.
And I was shocked at the realisation that women are programmed to "look after" men in conversations: make sure we don't offend them, make sure we don't hurt their egos by making them look stupid . It was blatantly obvious I was uncomfortable about the conversation and he didn't give a shit because he kept on pressing me. To me, purposely ignoring someone's discomfort is a rapist mentality.
And you'll never guess what I had in my bag. Beyond God the Father, by Mary Daly (as recommended by Ditt) , which I've been reading non-stop since yesterday.
Anyway, strength came out of me from nowhere. He upped the antse, started using amateur psychology , and I just couldn't believe how easy it was to turn it back on him. He kept trying to frame the conversation around God existing, and I smoothly kept reframing it into a context where God could not possibly exist.
It made me realise how many women become Christians because they're brow-beaten into it, then once you're in, you can't get out.
Examples included:
Priest: "Was your childhood happy? Often when we turn away from God...blablah
Me: [not answering by reframing] "What was your childhood like? Did your parents believe in God?
Priest: [Hesitant] "Yes, yes, They helped me a lot"
Me: "Yes, children are easily influenced by their parents' beliefs."
or
Priest: "It's known that bitterness can cause cancer"
Me: "No it's chemical pollutants and carcinogens that cause cancer. The government and corporations want to blame the victims because then they don't have to take responsibility by legislating against capitalist excesses" [I shit you not, it all came out perfect]
etc.
I could see in his eyes that he wanted to have me burned as a witch.
And I told him
"You know, there is a political power structure behind this conversation. YOu have the power of the church behind you supporting your beliefs, and I, as a woman, do not have any power supporting the truths I know about life"
The conversation ended like this:
Priest: "Do you want to have a happy future"
Me: "It makes no difference to me?"
Priest: "It makes no difference to you???
Me: "Do you know that two women a week are killed in the UK by their husband. There was a man down the street from me here who killed his wife and child six months ago." Knowing this, how relevant is it to me, as a woman, to know that my future will be happy. It's irrelevant.
Priest: "Yes, [sad face] . And the divorce rate in [our city] is the highest in Japan
Me: [in my mind: WTF. DIvorce and wife murder are on the same level. OH yes because they're both evil 
Me: Well It's better to be divorced than dead.
And he looked at me. And I looked at him. And we both knew I'd won. Next thing I knew he'd practically run off without saying goodbye.
Thank you Mary Daly. I feel bloody brilliant. One for the feminist cause. Maybe he'll think twice in future before trying to brow beat another woman into his faith.