'A woman who drinks to get drunk is deliberatly endagering herself and inviting rape' Oh my Gosh

[SuperTheoryofSuperEverything]

TThis is the opinion of my seemingly reasonable policeman uncle.

That should have been:

I don't know why you are arguing against Desiderata - you seemed to be stating the same kind of opinions as her earlier.

I think part of the thinking ehind rape myths goes back to this idea that women not only don't enjoy sex, but that they shouldn't, that sex for women is about being bred with, about servicing a man's needs, and that a woman who expresses choice and autonomy within sex is getting ideas above her station and is immoral (because she thinks it's up to her who she has sex with). Hence the insistence that women raped by acquaintances or gangraped are lying because they are ashamed of their own sluttiness and blaming men for it when the truth is that lots of women like casual sex, group sex and even, sometimes, 'rough' sex when we choose to have it and when we want to do it with the specific individuals we do it with. Women KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I wonder if part of the issue here isn't just that the women are drunk, but that the men are too. And as drunken men might (quoting StuffingGoldBrass) "get beaten up, stabbed, robbed or hurt themselves by taking up stupid dares", they might also commit sexual assault. In fact they might start out with the intention of lowering their inhibitions so that they'll do foolish things that they normally wouldn't, in search of fun with no responsibility or any worries about consequences.

There's plenty of evidence that plenty of men think having sex with an unresisting woman would be fun, but most wouldn't do it if they were sober (let's hope). Drunk though, whatever inhibitions they started with would be weaker still, and whatever the woman tries to do to stop them wouldn't be a deterrent at all. They'd probably say that's what you get drunk for.

Maybe the real lesson is people shouldn't drink so much.

God that's scary

Drunk people are not generally excused if they stick a glass in someone else's face, piss on war memorials or write vulgar words on the wall of the police station. Why should being drunk excuse a rapist?
Many men, of course, will not rape a woman, because they do not have the sense of entitlement, or the commodified view of sex as something women don't like but trade. The men who do think of sex and women like this are the ones who don't consider what they have done to be rape (unlike the masked-man-with-knife type who knows perfectly well that he is raping women and doesn't try to tell himself that they don't really mind, and that it can't be rape because he is a Good Guy.)

I think we should remind ourselves that most rapists, think of themselves as the Good Guy. And remind men as well. Sobering.