'A woman who drinks to get drunk is deliberatly endagering herself and inviting rape' Oh my Gosh

[SuperTheoryofSuperEverything]

TThis is the opinion of my seemingly reasonable policeman uncle.

Also, in a group situation, to consent to sex with each individual with non-verbal messages alone, you would have to either walk up to each man and start touching him, or at least point or gesture towards each man. How else can you actively nonverbally consensually select partners in group sex?

Well exactly, beckon people over, smile and grope them, fondle them, touch them, kiss them, show every sign of relish in what is going on. You know, like how sex is.

If a woman isn't doing that then you can't assume she is consenting IMO and need to check verbally.

Dittany are you really saying that group sex and gang rape are one and the same?

I agree SGM

We don't just have a rape culture, we do have an alcoholic culture as well.

Going out to get pissed, is a very peculiar thing to do when you think about it. But in our culture, it is absolutely normal and expected, and you are treated as a bit of a wierdo if you just want to have one or two drinks - that is actually wierder than saying you're not having any at all, because you're driving, or you've still got a hangover from the night before or something.

Thing is, I don't think young women do need to become more aware of the fact that getting drunk makes them vulnerable to rape; most women are absolutely attuned to their vulnerability to rape, from when they first discover what rape is. But I don't think young men are attuned to the notion that they may become perpetrators, partly because of the habit our culture has of maknig out rapists to be monsters who aren't connected with other men in any way shape or form.

There was a case recently here about a woman who mowed down and killed a little girl which seemed to hinge on whether or not she was over the limit (there was no question that she was driving recklessly as she was going at almost doubt the speed limit and lost control). The prosecution and the general commentary were very clear that the drinking made the crime worse, the implication being that by being over the limit she was more responsible. Interesting that that doesn't translate to rape cases, although I don't think it does to crimes such as assault either. In both cases the same argument could be made that by drinking the person had chosen to impair their judgment.

that's true. In rape, being drunk lets you off the hook. DV too.
INstead of people telling themselves, and each other, that if they turn into nasty bastards when drunk they'd better become teetotalers

something over here somewhat related

"I also think we need to make it clear to young men that if you have been drinking, your judgement is open to question so not engaging with sex is a safer option"

SGM, do you really think that this is realistic?

Also Dittany again, do you really think that group sex and rape are one and the same?

But you would concur that a woman can have sex with multiple partners at the same time willingly?

"Actually it's only more dangerous than being sober, if you're in the company of a rapist."

Well quite.

My point is that you have said "group sex aka gangrape" and I think it's valid to ask if you really feel that they are one and the same as this seems to suggest.

And incidentally I fully agree that guys who have a gangbang are sleazy and repulsive. But as the thread is, as you say, about rape, I wanted to clarify whether this is rape as far as you are concerned.

I know of women who have instigated sexual encounters with more than one man and bragged about it afterwards to all and sundry. They certainly would not consider themselves to have been sexually assaulted.

I would never be involved in a gangbang but I don't think that all gangbangs involve rape or that they should never happen.

There is a huge sign up at my college that says pretty much the same thing.

It makes me so bloody cross eveytime I walk pass it

So a woman who gets drunk can be warned about having her house burgled or having her car stolen or her bag snatched too then? And there's an excuse for the burglar, the car thief and the bag snatcher who committed their crimes while their female victims were drunk?

Why not warn boys/men about the dangers of being accused of rape and how it can destroy a man's life if he places himself in a position where 'having sex' stands to jeopardise his future?

Answer: because no such problem exists, for men.

There are some extreme views on this thread.

Men and women are equally capable of getting themselves into sexual scrapes when drunk. Most of us have been there.

The male is particularly vulnerable to female accusations of rape, and the female is particularly vulnerable to physical force.

The lines often get muddied, particularly on one-to-one situations, and the law has to be balanced in its judgement.

Nonsensical cross-questions.

How incredibly hypocritical you are Dittany. I think I am quite justified in asking you to clarify your statement that group sex=gang rape. Are you the only person who is allowed to seek clarification on other people's posts? I find your arrogance quite astounding.