Sex Porn and Teenagers 8pm Monday 4/10 BBC Radio 4

[LadyBiscuit]

That's in 5 mins :)

From the BBC website:

" "Shag bands" are thin coloured rubber bracelets, indicating how far the wearer will go sexually if the band is broken.

Purple for a kiss or yellow for a hug may seem comparatively harmless but some of the other colours such as black for full intercourse or blue for oral sex ring alarm bells.

A Wakefield MP recently campaigned to stop shops selling them after complaints from parents including a mother who innocently bought some for her 6-year old's party bag. Elsewhere schools have banned "shag bands" after finding pupils wearing them.

Part of playground culture, they're often worn innocently or in a show of bravado but there is a darker side where early sexual exploration strays into the easily accessible world of internet porn. Where children once passed notes, they now use their mobile phones to share explicit images and there's peer pressure through social networking sites.

Presenter Miranda Sawyer, herself a mother, investigates whether society and parents are aware of just what their children are getting up to and asks how concerned should we be about the sexualisation of children in media, advertising and fashion such as sale of padded bras for pre-pubescent girls or sexual references on T shirts for primary-aged kids.

Even though teenage pregnancy rates are falling, Britain still has the highest rate in Western Europe. As many as 1 in 4 teenagers have underage sex with anecdotal evidence of sexual experimentation including anal sex to avoid pregnancy. However sex education is improving in schools and access to contraception and STI screening has never been better.

But there are concerns that unlike the 'dirty mags' of their parent's day, teenagers now access porn which can be addictive, desensitising and threatening to healthy relationships in the future."

Scary but essential listening I think

At my school it was always the girls who were pushier than the boys. The boys just used to play football where as the girls were the ones going are you going to get off with my mate then? Whilst the boys looked scared lol. I really never saw the pushy boys thing that is made out from the media and I want to a rough school. 16 I had been with my boyfriend for a year and a half so we were definitely having sex but I dont think its a big deal.

Claig - The girls at my school who got pregnant nearly all did it on purpose because you got a house and money and its better than going to college if your not very clever. My best friend got pregnant on purpose but lied and said she didnt mean it and put on the shy girl who is innocent act so she didnt get in trouble or judged off the teachers. It wasnt what she was like at all and she still says she is glad she did it. I used to use condoms and was on the pill and would have had an abortion if by a slim chance I had of got pregnant.

It is often true that girls do get pregnant on purpose or if not have loads of difficulties at home and want to get out of there. Just because you have sex underage doesnt mean everyone gets pregnant.

Also having sex is the norm as its a biological thing. In some countries people are married in their early teens. The feelings that teens get are their hormones that make them not be able to stop thinking about sex.

I'm 36 so possibly that makes me ancient, but I have never heard of shag bands either. How foul.

'I'd never heard of them until a couple of years ago. So they weren't mainstream in the 90's or early 2000's Sunny, not here in Staffordshire anyway.
'

My husband is from Newcastle. I went to 2 secondary schools one in the South and one in the Midlands and have had friends in the forces where I used to work who have talked about them before who lived in Lincoln and Scotland. They are all the same age as me and have heard of them so it was pretty mainstream.

sunny, those two girls you know who lied about rape. Perhaps they didn't lie, but were coerced into doing something they weren't comfortable with?

yes, it's called statutory rape

This 'pushy' girls image, as if it is empowering, is the same image that lapdancing is empowering. This is what is intended. It is the sexualisation of young women and leads to their objectification by men.

I think that if you dont want to access porn then they shouldnt be able to go on the internet in their rooms, they also should definitely not be allowed their own laptops or computers and they shouldnt be able to do homework on the computer if they are not in the same room as you.

Ladybiscuit - I havent seen the programme but I still think that thinks havent changed that much in recent years. Sex was still all anyone ever talked about at school regardless of what clothes were in fashion or not having regular access to net.

I think it is up to a parent if they dont want their teen to be dressed in revealing clothes or lots of make up. It is up to a parent to regulate what a child wears.

Even so regardless many teens will still have sex and its more important to educate them about reducing the chances of pregnancy and protecting against STDS imo. If they dont tell you about it they will probably just do it and you wont know. Just like I was with my parents and most of my peers were too.

The "pushy girls" image is yet another male fantasy, isn't it. Along with the "passive girl" image. All strands of the same

'sunny, those two girls you know who lied about rape. Perhaps they didn't lie, but were coerced into doing something they weren't comfortable with?'

No they were really old. One was 30 and one was 24. The first one lied to get revenge on the man getting off with her best mate as we were all in forces and she thought it would mean he wouldnt get promoted. She later admitted she made it up though when they asked to pass it to the civvy police. Everyone knew she made it up anyway as she said when she was drunk because she tried to punch the other girl in the face and admitted it then. She was a bit weird anyway.

The other one came back to a party on a night out took some MDMA then started acting weird. Got a taxi home on her own but then phoned the lad in the morning and accused this lad of raping her even though we were all there and he hadnt left the room all night. He also met her in the room it was a bedsit flat and he hadnt even gone outside. She rang the police but again dropped charges the next day. I think she just was on a very strange comedown.

Sunny, you are arguing that all of these things are harmless, ?didn?t turn you into a deviant?, etc. Yet, I significantly disagree with you on many issues that are very important. We have significantly differing values systems (in many, not all, respects). I think it?s arguable that a complex web of influences, sexual and otherwise, all things which are normal to you, is part of what has contributed to you being such an ardent defender of a societal status quo which I believe has a lot wrong with it.

"I think it is up to a parent if they dont want their teen to be dressed in revealing clothes or lots of make up. It is up to a parent to regulate what a child wears."

I used to leave the house with my jeans on and a top. Then, I would go behind the bushes/shops with my friend, take them off, revealing they scantily-clad clothing on underneath, and get back changed at the end of the night before one of our dads came to pick us up.
Sunny, you don't know any of the teen tricks do you

Yes the 'pushy gils' image is just as much a form of control as the 'passive girl' image. It is like Sakura said once before, when she said something like "you wanted equality, well here it is shag bands and double anal"

stewiegriffinsmom - She wasnt humiliated at all. All 4 of her siblings got pregnant at 15 and her mum. She was desperate to be a young mum from when we were very young. A lot of teen mums I know did it because their parents and brothers and sisters have all done it. Also it is very hard to be able to afford to move out here as its a low wage area with very high rents so it will get you a better standard of living than working in a minimum wage job.

Sakura - Thats what I said before imo there is no point intrying to stop teens just to educate them. I am just saying things that could make the parents feel better. My mum used to dress me in the most ridiculous non sexy clothes ever I wasnt allowed to wear strappy tops, heels or skirts above knee length until I was 16 lol. It doesnt make a slightest bit of difference ime they will still probably do it.

vezzie I agree with your post

*sunny" "I am just saying things that could make the parents feel better."

What does this mean? Could you elaborate?

vezzie - the thing is I dont see that any of this stuff is just a benefit to men. I love porn, webcams, having sex from young age etc. I dont think its something that boys force girls in to. Most girls want to do it as it is a biological urge and what we are made to do. I dont tie all these societal things up in to sex. I think many young people make the decision to have sex because they want to and should be educated on protection/pregnancy however. However I hate the way girls are guilt tripped in to thinking if they have sex young or dress in a certain way they arer not a nice girl or they have low self esteem etc. Its like saying a girl doesnt know her own mind only if a boy says this is what we are doing.

Its not my experience at all. Of course there are people that get pushed in to sex but its a parents job to teach them if they dont want to do it then they dont have to. I have never been forced in to sex by anyone but I am sure on stats I would be portrayed as a girl who was forced in to these things by boys.

"It doesnt make a slightest bit of difference ime they will still probably do it."

they will only do it, because it has become the social norm to do it, they feel peer pressure, because their friends are all talking about it, showing each mobile phone porn, talking about stick it up your bum and busy buying the latest colour shag band. They never used to do it so casually. They have been conditioned to see it as the norm.

Sakura - I just mean my mum and dad used to worry about these things to so made me wear certain covered up clothes and have to be in hours early. I wasnt allowed to go to boys houses, underage nightclubs etc (I had to be in at 8.30 every night until I had left school). It still didnt make a blind bit of difference I had sex, underage drank and did everything parents worry about now.

" My mum used to dress me in the most ridiculous non sexy clothes ever I wasnt allowed to wear strappy tops, heels or skirts above knee length until I was 16 lol. "

Sunny, did your mum have control issues? DO you think that's why you were so keen to have lots of sex?
I mean, after about the age of nine I would choose my own clothes. BUt I used to sneak out in different clothes because a) I didn't want to be given the third degree about where I was going and b) I didn't want to parade sex in front of their face- I'm not talking strappy tops and heels, I'm talking tops with no back, sheer see-through tops, pop socks that stopped below the skirt etc.

Society is forcing this on both girls and boys, society is allowing it. Society is not kicking up a fuss about shag bands, society is condoning it, just as it is condoning the pornification of culture. It is society that is forcing these things rather than individual boys or girls.

'They never used to do it so casually.'

Well I think that really we are mammals and what we are programmed to do. Not doing it casually is probably because they have been brainwashed in to thinking their biological urges are abnormal due to religions and societal expectations. Again it all depends on how you view sex.

I think social conditioning massively influenced my teenage years, and I think it must be worse for girls today

I think it is up to the parents to regulate what their internet has access to. Although each younger generation tends to be more computer savvy than the last.

I think so major protection is required rather than an opt of system maybe an opt in system it would reduce the access kids have to porn.