Feminism chat thread

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Hello

Been saying for ages that it'd be nice to have an area for just saying hi, letting off some steam and sharing the little things that don't warrant a whole thread.

So, I'll start...

My brother made me :o:o:o last night when we were talking about some crap sexist song. And he said (in all honesty) - well this is just one of the millions of ways the patriarchy keeps itself going.

Also got the updated email from the Feminism in London conference this morning - can't wait.

Anyone else?

Proles - my plan is multifaceted

I'm going to focus my reading and writing more with a view to doing something more concrete in a few years, when my children aren't so young.

I am also, though, going to have a go at writing some non-sexist children's books. I can't draw, though - will need to find a sympathetic illustrator and also to be aware that even in the very unlikely event anything gets published, t here will be next to no money in it. My payment will be a good feeling of feminist benificence

Just caught up - interesting point about 'rights' vs 'responsibilities'. spot on from what I have seen with friends. One friend in particular - her ex is ver strong on rights, but doesn't adhere to the access schedule meaning she gets landed with the kids most weekends, pays no maintenance and doesn't let them do their homework when he has them becuase he is spending time with them . However, when he (briefly) had the son he insisted she stuck rigidly to the access schedule and even prepared to send a van round to empty the boys bedroom (despite the fact she'd bought everything in it!!)

Very interesting about rights and responsibilities. Can anyone explain the arguments for keeping access and maintenance separate? The arguments here for linking them seem pretty strong.

FB - I have joined the new London Feminist Network forum, and there's a woman on there who is talking about writing feminist children's books as well. Can't remember if she's a writer or illustrator (or both) but maybe worth having a look.

They have a nice anti-troll gateway to get into the site as well. You have to be approved (pretty fast) and then post an introductory post.

Can you join it if you're not in London, Elephants?

Just looked and it seems not

No? That's a shame. Well maybe I can ask on your behalf :o

Wait until I've got a story first!

I'll definitely be testing it on the FB MN fems and my own children too before I even think about finding an illustrator.

Yes the standard line is that maintenance is a detail (one nobody really needs to worry about, because money's too vulgar to talk about) whereas a child's right to see his/ her father is separate fromt hat.

Except that if the father doesn't want to see the child, the child's right to have a relationship with him, suddenly disappears and everyone says "oh well you can't force a father to have a relationship with his chidlren".

So a child's right to see his / her father, is actually non-existent in law.

Non resident parents have all the rights here.

SaF don't want to be a wet blanket, but don't hold your breath on getting maintenance. 3/5 of NRP's don't pay a penny and my experience with the CSA is that they are astonishingly useless. My XP is supposed to pay £5 per week for both DC's and they haven't got him to pay that yet. Nine years now. And the new govt. is going to write off that debt.

Yes the number of times you see threads on here where the OP is being treated with total contempt by her husband, but she still says "he's a really good father"

It makes me really sad that the mens rights lobby has been so successful at making sure that people have really fucked up ideas about what makes a good father and how little so many men have to do, in order to be considered a good father.

Ooh hello Dittany do you ever come to London? For things like Feminism in London conferences?

Englebert - I want to make a difference to children's perception of gender roles and getting publisehd would be the only way to do that. Will definitely be spending along time playing aroudn and just making things for my own children at first, though.

That's a shame

Was worth a try though! I think lots of us would love to meet you. It must be weird being famous!

I would love a trip to scotland one day