working mothers

[novicemama]

The company I work for is signed up with 'wellbeing works' - this is part of our 'benefits' and there are helplines you can use etc. Every week they send out an email, usually with articles about health, stress in the workplace, your workplace rights etc. I have already had to complain to them once this year about an article entitled 'Rape: don't become another statistic' warning women not to drink too much or give off mixed messages to male colleagues in the pub

Now today I see [[http://eu.healthinsite.net/ContentViewerPane/ContentViewerPane.aspx?cookie=2100001605&Content=5914&ContentType=2
this little gem]] about working mothers and how to deal with having to spend nights away from your family.

I don't know where to start really, there are just SO MANY things in there that make my blood boil. Would anyone like to kick off? And any input into the complaint email I'll be sending this afternoon would be welcomed too!

thanks ladybiscuit :)
ullainga depressing isn't it?!

That newsletter was one of a list of topics you could choose from (I work in IT): Systems, Storage, Architecture, IT Management, Women in Business....there weren't any apparel or recipe tips in any of the others.

Why do they assume that working mother's have "hubbys" at home anyway ?

AllarmBells, I guess they have the same logic as news stands with their labels like "Sports and Fitness", "Computers", "Business", "current Affairs" and..."Women's interests". As women are of course not interested in anything besides gossip and make-up..

Presumably any single mothers would be screened out at interview and anyone who divorces or separates during employment is sacked...

Incredible, words fail me.

Not to mention anyone with the temerity to be edam....

Bleedin eck. Top complaint OP! What did they say when you complained about their terribly helpful rape article?

OOH i have had a response as follows:

Thank you for your email. With reference to the complaint relating to the article ?When Mommy?s miles away? please accept the following points:

1. We sincerely apologise for offending you.
2. The intent of this article is certainly not to perpetuate any of the assumptions that you have listed.
3. The use of the terms ?Mommy? and ?Hubby? is not evidence of this article being copied from an American source. The article is an original piece of work that was developed by our psychology writer in response to a user request. However, we do recognise that these terms are not commonly used in the UK and we apologise for that.

I have requested for the article to be removed from the site.

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Removed from the site = a good thing but I have still raised it with my HR dept anyway. But overall quite about that response

what did they say about the rape one?

WRT the rape article which I mentioned earlier, my email to them was as follows:

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I want to complain about an article in this week?s ?wellbeing works? about date rape.
The headline you used is: Date Rape: don?t become another statistic and the article goes on to tell women what they should do to avoid being raped.

I think it would be more welcome in this day and age to stop focussing on how women should modify their behaviour in relation to this terrible crime. Women?s behaviour is not what is the problem here ? it is the behaviour of a small minority of men which is the issue. Women who are raped are victims of a crime and do not need to be made to feel guilty that it may be somehow ?their fault? because they had a drink after work or walked home from the tube station on their own in the dark. If the streets are not safe for women because ill-intentioned men might be lurking, I would suggest it is therefore men who should be careful how much they drink, ensure people know where they are, and arrange to be accompanied home late at night so as to keep the streets safe for entirely law-abiding women to go about their business.

Perhaps instead you could run an article aimed at men entitled: No means no: don?t become another statistic warning them that it?s not acceptable to force yourself onto a female colleague just because she is drunk and her guard may be down, and that such behaviour could and should land them with a jail term.

I?d appreciate a response with your thoughts on this.

--------

Their response was:

Thank you for your comments on the article ?Date Rape: don?t become another statistic?.

You make an excellent point and we will most certainly modify the article.

--------

I don't know if they ever did modify the article actually but at least they respond to my emails...

yes, it sounds like they say the right things in response but not much is actually done...

By "psycology writer" do they in fact mean "psychiatric patient"?

You'd have to off your rocker to think that's an appropriate article in this day and age

Yeah stealth I'm not sure how much action is taken but at least they're not ignoring me. The person who is responding to my emails is a woman BTW

Oh my goodness, I almost fell off my seat.

Well done for complaining, I would have done the same and I am fuming as much as you are.

Let's hope they get the message. The person writing these should be sacked.

"By "psycology writer" do they in fact mean "psychiatric patient"?"

Snort.

Well done for complaining.

ROTFL at 'You make an excellent point'. They are probably shitting themselves from you now. Good work!

Perhaps you could suggest to HR that the company/writers should undergo some diversity training.

LOL @ judgejudith

edam I missed a word out of my previous post, it should have read "Not to mention anyone with the temerity to be gay edam...."

Although maybe wellbeing works are working on a way of stamping out edam, who knows

Thank you for posting NoviceMama - I find this unbelievable... and I suppose you are going to tell us that your HR department consists of mainly females.

I wonder if women at your work are also underpaid along with being undermined.

I like that Slug, passive-aggressive is the way to go when dealing with HR types I think!

Yes good idea slug... and what a response.

And as for the article ofcourse it was offensive.

Unreal.

And the thought of leaving little surprise notes... OMG - your children might think you have gone bonkers....

One of the most tragic things in that piece is the suggestion that the "mommy" should herself arrange for the children to put notes in her suitcase. I can remember my mother encouraging us to do this for my dad when I was little, and it was an exciting secret that we smuggled whisperingly into the case. Later when my mum started going away sometimes, we had the habit and we did it for her too. I can't think of anything sadder than sitting your kids at the kitchen table and dictating your own "we love you, mummy" letter. "How many kisses should we put?" they ask. [sob]

Yes i read it the same way too, "we don't see anything wrong with it, but since YOU are offended we have removed it"
They are probably rolling their eyes and complaining about feminism ruining everything.

You are probably now included in their spam filter :o