working mothers

[novicemama]

The company I work for is signed up with 'wellbeing works' - this is part of our 'benefits' and there are helplines you can use etc. Every week they send out an email, usually with articles about health, stress in the workplace, your workplace rights etc. I have already had to complain to them once this year about an article entitled 'Rape: don't become another statistic' warning women not to drink too much or give off mixed messages to male colleagues in the pub

Now today I see [[http://eu.healthinsite.net/ContentViewerPane/ContentViewerPane.aspx?cookie=2100001605&Content=5914&ContentType=2
this little gem]] about working mothers and how to deal with having to spend nights away from your family.

I don't know where to start really, there are just SO MANY things in there that make my blood boil. Would anyone like to kick off? And any input into the complaint email I'll be sending this afternoon would be welcomed too!

Good response. Nothing to add.

sethstark - that's it isn't it? If you don't feel guilty, you bloody well should do.

I can't believe that, novice. I don't know whether to puke or hit something

you know, us feminists really shouldn't get so angry all the time. It puts people off and undermines our cause.

ROFL! Classic sexist bullshit.

It wasn't issued on 1st April was it?

omg, what a load of bollox!

Ladybiscuit, I agree - puke - hit something - puke... hmmm not sure which to do first.
I am 24wks pg as well at the moment and the angry hormones are in overdrive

The other thing which got me riled is the idea that even though you are a working parent you would have the time / inclination to be leaving little love notes in lunchboxes, recording yourself reading the bloody Gruffalo, making homecooked food, writing lists of emergency numbers for your hapless 'hubby' . I mean, what are we aspiring to here? Don't most normal working parents just collapse on the sofa with a glass of wine most evenings? I know we bloody well do.

thought your response was great, well done.

I have to say that was running through my mind when I was reading it too. I have a full time job and have to pack and get ready for a trip away (which I probably have to prep for - read, rehearse, plan etc). I don't have time to write love notes, leave treasure, make fabulous meals etc

Do you think the author has ishoos? The 'being forced to eat fast food while his mother swanned off' comment was quite telling. Poor bloke clearly needs therapy to help him move on

ha ha ha - sorry that is so bad it is funny.

Definitely complain.

That would be dreadful as an article in a parenting magazine but as an article from a corporation to its staff it is shocking! What did they say about your rape complaint? Is there anyone else where you work that will also complain, to back you up?

" his mother swanned off"

Swanned? Swanned!

How does any working mother do that? I usually leave the house in a sort of panicked rush with a laptop in my hand, DS#2's bookbag and my lunch in the other, handbag over my shoulder and the car keys in my teeth. More a lame duck in a hurry than a swan

Excellent complaint.

If I had put a love note in my kids lunchboxes I think they would have been highly embarassed and probably laughed at by the other kids.

This bloke is clearly some obese tub of lard who blames this on his mother force feeding him burgers in absentia.

Orm - you forgot the under the breath swearing

Yes I can imagine ds2 being highly unamused at finding a love note in his school bag.

As for recording bedtime stories. Can fathers not read these days?

And ha ha ha at the 'hubby' assumption.

this is feckin outrageous

Novicemama - your response is excellent and, in the circumstances, showing more dignity and restraint than this piece of utter shite deserves

Great complaint. But I'd stress the fact that your company is paying for a service that turns out to be of incredibly low quality and provided by lazy fuckers who are cutting and pasting and can't be bothered to change American language for a British workforce.

unfucking believable, i really hope it is not a woman who is creating these articles as i would be truly appalled, my guess is it is some sexist twit who should be shot!

Great response though, i will be interested in the reply, please make sure you update us when you get it

May I say if I did even one of these things for "hubby" and my dc's whilst I'm away they'd think I'd gone freakin' loco

on the general subject of women working away:

My MIL was a translator and when dh was a teenager she applied for, and got, a job in Switzerland, after years of working at home. FIL was an academic and it was the days when academics could just sod off all vacation, so DH stayed at home with his dad in England and then they joined MIL in her flat in Switzerland in the holidays. FIL and teenage DH looked after themselves perfectly well and all was fine.

Recently DH and I met up with one of his old schoolfriends. We were discussing grandparents sometimes thinking they knew it all about kids, and friend said 'Yes, and I mean, it's not as if your mum even looked after you when you were a kid, is it?'

In other words, MIL being away in termtime for a few years when DH was a teenager was remembered as MIL being an absent and therefore pointless mother throughout dh's childhood . My dad used to do a lot of business travel but no-one has ever suggested he wasn't a proper dad!

OMG. Am speechless! I couldn't even read the whole thing. It's just so offensive to both women and men.

I'd be tempted to send the article to hr and ask them to explain how and when they will be terminating the relationship with that company but possibly with various appendices pertaining to sex discrimination legislation attached?

Great complaint btw. Hope you do follow up with hr

btw, recording bedtime stories is an idea being encouraged for troops going on active service, or prisoners. Hardly think working mothers are a comparable group of people.

'And if you've ever felt under-appreciated or haven't yet received that medal for being a doing-it-all mom, be assured that you will feel the appreciation the second you walk through the front door. '

Hollow laugh at this bit - IME when you get back from time away the children play you up deliberately and dh moans about what a hard time he's had.

But perhaps it was my fault for not writing enough love-notes. Yes, that must be it.

For some reason I have a feeling the person who wrote it is not a parent...

DH and I both have to work away occasionally, and I do find it hard to leave DD, but so does he and it's not any 'worse' when I have to do it. But then, we split childcare, cooking etc more or less 50/50 - obviously an alien concept to the author.

I am always getting angry at the focus on 'working mothers' and not 'working parents'. Working mothers are feckless uncaring monsters with no maternal instincts who are dumping their kids in crap nurseries so they can enjoy their career. However a working father is a fine upstanding figure who is providing for his family .

What a crock of shit that is.

OP do you work for General Electric? I used to, they had an empowering women dept which came out with shit of this ilk when I used to work there.

I would complain HUGELY.

And as a mother who has travelled on business for donkey's years, i have never had to do anything like that advice. DD has always been sanguine about my going away, just sends me off to the airport with a 'bring me back some toffifees, mum'

I actually work in the 'charity' sector, not in some bastion of maleness as you might think - the vast majority of the workforce here are women, lots of them mothers. Very odd that anyone would think this is appropriate.