Do you feel female?

[Thistledew]

Continuing on the theme of transexuality, I have to confess that I do struggle with the concept of feeling that you are one gender trapped in the wrong type of body.

I honestly cannot say that identify any feelings in myself that are definitely more female than male.

Yes, I like dressing up in a nice dress, heels and wearing makeup, but I am also quite happy to go out in jeans, flat shoes and no makeup. I enjoy cooking nice food for DP and friends, but also enjoy DIY. I want to have children, and am pleased by the idea that I can be pregnant and breast feed, but am also slightly jealous of DP that he does not have to go through that to have a child.

I feel that if I were to wake up tomorrow as a man, (after I had got over the shock, obviously) I would not feel any different to how I do now. I would still feel like 'me'.

I have discussed this with friends, and none of my close friends feels any different- but this could be because we all work in a fairly male-dominated environment, and enjoy adventure sports as hobbies, so have an outlet for our sides that are more traditionally perceived as masculine.

So, my question is, do you feel more female than male (or vice versa)? And if so, what is that you attribute to your gender? How would you feel if you woke up in a parallel universe where you were of the opposite sex?

I definitely get on with life as much as men do. Then I have never felt held back in any way.

Me too....but with male/female friendships they only work if there's no sexual frisson

Marsha, I feel held back sometimes physically, I suppose.

I wish I didn't. But I think some men do as well. Also DP some men really are very needy and emotional. It isn't just women.

Agree MB...I've just got on with it...never really been into feminist issues as I've never felt held back...

I feel female by virtue of being a woman. Never felt the need to question it.

Don't honestly know what transexuals mean by being a woman trapped in a man's body or vice versa - but then I'm not one and haven't studied the subject in depth. From the little I've seen or read, male to female trans do seem to go for stereotypical feminine stuff like high heels and loads of make up though.

Used to live opposite Charing Cross hospital, where there was a gender reassignment service, and used to long to advise some of the m to f trans I saw on the bus. Just felt sorry that no-one was telling them things like 'that face powder is the wrong shade for you, and you need a closer shave for your chin, and if you want to pass as a woman, it's a good idea to shave your legs as well if you are going to wear rights'. (Obviously if you are already a woman, you can choose to shave your legs or not, but if you are pre-surgery and want to pass, it's probably a good idea.)

No you're right...it isn't just women...I think basically we're all the same...everyone wants to feel loved and valued....

Flighttattendant wrote "run a large house with an enormous garden".
I think you were implying that you regard that as a masculine stereotype?

That's a new one for me.
I'd not come across that one before. I had always associated running large country manors with being the lady of the manor's role.

Sorry, Vesuvia, it's neither IMO. I was giving a mixed snapshot of my lifestyle, so that people could take each thing and explore whether they consider it masculine or feminine.

It wasn't very clear!

Flighttattendant. That's fine - good luck to you!

I rofl when that high court judge said all gay men go to Kylie concerts and wear pink shirts..(or something like that)...and I thought I generalized...

ruthie - i have a similar friend. as a man, he has enjoyed motorbike racing and a lot of 'extreme' adventure stuff. i am unable to understand why, as a woman, she thinks she needs to eschew this stuff in favour of a more sedentary lifestyle, interior design, and nail polish... we've discussed the 'acting out' of gender roles (a small part of the racing etc was almost certainly testing limits and a tiny unconscious suicidal/escape impulse) and i'm still a bit baffled. but then i'm not living it and i don't feel constrained by societal expectations in general. i occasionally feel frustrated, and i'm a big fan of challenging stereotypes when applicable, but largely i don't make lifestyle decisions based on what sex i am.

dp - it's best not to get into a discussion about vocabulary. people who identify as trans have spent years arguing about definitions

i'm interested in the natal women who decide to set up as advisors to teach how to dress, look and act like a girl. i do understand the necessity of passing if you don't want to attract abuse and violence (i'm not daft) but i do have a concern that they go too far - obviously lots of people do need substantial make-up etc (i don't have a six o clock shadow to hide), but often they are essentially teaching people that to look like a woman they need to wear rubber and essentially they veer off into fetish... if that's the impetus behind the trans identification, fine, but i worry that they aren't really helping someone who has felt trapped for years to explore/ liberate - more channelling them into yet another stereotype.

ive met some transwomen that you would never of known they was trans.

oh, i get that, dittany. like i said, i do understand the importance of passing. but it doesn't really explain why anyone visiting such a service is propelled towards rubber dresses and thigh length boots in the hope that this will enable them to pass... and it's natal women doing the propelling...

i'm just fascinated by the whole industry, really - and asking an mtf friend why she feels the need to 'conform' in this caricatured manner is just my own way of challenging yet another ridiculous gender stereotype.

it's certainly not my place to tell anyone they are wrong about where they believe themselves to be placed in regards to their own gender identification. i just find it interesting that such a controlling industry has grown up around the subject. fear of the other? i dunno.

I think I feel female.
I'm aware of my body, and the hormones that affect it.
I'm not separate from my body. In fact 'I' am my body.
It is what it is.

I do think I feel more female when I'm not trying to be feminine.

happy with the fetish side - like i said earlier, if that's the impetus, then fine huge difference between folk who enjoy dressing but have no desire to transition, and those people who have a lifelong belief that they are trapped in the 'wrong' body though.

i think she looks fine - she doesn't attract attention in passing on the street (she's had lengthy laser treatment for facial and body hair) but a few people have looked at her a bit oddly in close and lengthy proximity (ie sitting opposite on the tube) - but usually they smile and are friendly.

i can't really be objective tbh - i 'know' her as a woman and as a man iyswim, so she's just 'x'. she started hormones a year ago and has booked the first lot of surgery.

small lol at 'these men' though. that wouldn't be a sweeping generalisation, would it?