Husband says I stink

[Jez2510]

Hi everyone,

I'm 15 weeks postpartum and breast feeding, I also have an older child in school. When I get back from school run everyday my husband tells me I "stink like wet dog" even if I've had a bath/shower the night before. He says is probably from the hormones from breastfeeding. No one else has mentioned it and I have asked a couple of female friends if I smell and they say no. I'm doing everything I can think of to help with the smell. Using Fussy deodorant, perfume and nice smelling spray on my clothes. Sometimes I have to wash jumpers after only wearing them the once because he says they stink.

Obviously, this is making me feel very self conscious and embarrassed. I don't want him to lie to me, if I smell I'd rather know but I can't live in the shower when I have a baby to look after,

Has anyone got any tips/tricks to help with this? I use Fussy deodorant as most other antiperspirants seem to make me smell worse!

Does your coat need a wash?

I, personally, think it's good not to smell too much of perfumes when you have a newborn, as babies like to smell their mum as she naturally is. A shower with gentle soap is all you need.
Tell him that you have asked your friends and they say that you don't smell, and therefore the problem is with him, so every time he mentions it, all he is doing is drawing attention to a problem that HE needs to go to a doctor with.

Mitchum deodorant.

Seriously, it's the only thing that works. When I was peri menopausal and going through the menopause, my body smell changed completely and I can only think it was the hormonal change.
Im also autistic and the heightened sense of smell is really a torment. I know exactly the smell your husband describes!

I found that my sweat smelled differently after babies/when breastfeeding. And women's deodorant seemed to make it worse. I used mens instead and that helped.

I could smell when I was ovulating by the smell of my sweat - grim!

Wetwipes or flannel wash after walking if you can't shower?

You mentioned using Fussy

Fussy deodorant (and wild) both make me smell abominable after a few days of use

Tried an armpit detox product that's supposed to help and that makes me smell worse

I've been using 'hippy' aluminium free deodorants for 20+ years and other ones are fine but those two newer brands do not agree with me. It's a really hard smell to get rid of too.

Although I'd assume if it were that then you'd smell it too.

How are you washing your clothes? Years ago when my kids were small I would put a load of washing on last thing before I went to bed at night but I wouldn't get it out of the machine until the morning to dry it. This gave time for bacteria to multiply in the nice damp warm conditions. DH would put his work clothes on that smelled fresh and fine, after drying, but throughout the course of the day they would warm up with his body heat and he would start to smell like a wet dog.

I am obviously an abusive nasty LTB type of spouse because I used to sniff him and say 'you fucking reek of wet dog', he was mortified that he was going to work stinking and we worked out together what was causing the problem. I could have been polite though and lied to him.

have you deep cleaned your washmachine?
and also in the winter if clothes dry slow, it can smell damp. But i would suggest to deep cleaned your wash machine first. And make sure you empty the standing water at the bottom of the machine. There is a little slot.

Did you have stitches or a C section? A friend of mine smelt foul and it was an infection of her stitches and it was very serious but yes she smelt for a really long time (3 months afterwards at least.)

Also to Echo other posters who use fussy or wild deodorant they also smell vile on me unless I shower 2 times a day.
Im fat so that may be why but Mitchum is my friend.

At 15 weeks after having a baby? Many women at this stage struggle to get washed daily at all.
You're lucky you weren't born in the 70s

I have autistic family members and their sense of smell is incredible. It may well be he smells it and others don't.

Honestly OP, I would pop to the doctor. Tell them etc and they will 100% be honest with you.

I am leaning towards this as it only happens after school run in the mornings, when it's the coldest.

One solution is for him to do the school run 😉

No advice OP, just feel for you - I felt I smelt post partum but my OH didn’t notice and the baby was settled

I've got to go to work soon so don't have time to read all the comments but I think you should have a conversation with him. Tell him it's really upsetting that he thinks you smell. Tell him your friends say you don't but if he thinks you do, you will go to the doctors to see if there is an issue. Ask him if the smell is there straight after your shower, 2 hours later or just at the end of the day. Are you using a different washing power and are getting what the TV ads call a boomerang smell? Speak to a health professional, make an appointment for the time of day he says you smell most, don't shower or change your clothes and ask the Dr or nurse that you see....they will be honest. If they say you don't smell, maybe there's something else going on with your husband. Is he having issues at work or any new people in his life that may lead him to start being a complete ass? Just to add, I love the smell of dogs, wet or otherwise 😜

He sounds like a cunt tbh. Best to get the house on the market - since he’s not a ‘beat around the bush’ kind of guy - tell him straight. ‘I’m leaving you because you are rude cunt’.

Could this just be a sort of damp/hot issue from walking/being outside? I have a collegue at work that sometimes smells a bit damp doggish when she has walked to work - I certainly wouldn't say she stinks though and it goes away once she has taken her coat off and cooled down. I think it is just from a brisk walk in the cold and damp weather.

Is there a reason why he isn’t doing the school run for you, at least sometimes, so you can have a more relaxed start to the day?
he sounds unkind and unsupportive.

It was a long time ago now, but when I had a newborn and was breastfeeding, I stank in the morning a cross between BO and mouldy milk but it was sweet.

My DH or anybody else never said anything though. That’s mean.

Did he really use the word stink? If so, no wonder you're upset. It isn't very helpful, is it? So unkind.

You're not throwing on mildly damp clothes to do the school run are you?

Or has it been wet weather since you started doing it?

I have an extremely sensitive sense of smell. My family have literally nicknamed me the Bloodhound because I could smell my uncles tooth infection he had no idea about across the room when nobody else could, and I can smell when people have been out in the rain, and damp clothes to me really does smell like wet dog.

Some smells really make me feel sick too so I have been known to either gently let someone know or my face has had subtitles that my mouth has not.

Or you could have been polite and politely told him the truth, using politeness as a means to work out together what was causing the problem.

The thing I don't get here is that OP can't smell it. You suggest that you knew when you smelled. I always know if I honk a bit but can never understand people who smell of BO and can't smell it on themselves, unless they are desensitised when they constantly smell the same. When I exercise I know when I pong.

When did you last wash your coat ? Lots are machine washable, could it be that.

One poor woman I know on the school run, wore a white coat with fur, I just don’t think she realised it was getting steadily more dirty each week. ( the colour of the coat was the impact here, I should say )

Check the shoes that you wear, they could be the issue.

I doubt you “stink” if you are showering the night before. You probably smell different (hormones and breast milk). Maybe he has a very sensitive nose

I remember starting to smell the milk smell on me when I was pregnant. It could be that it's been something that has been slowly increasing throughout pregnancy so it's kind of a frog in a pot situation. The OP has got used to it over time.